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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think boys can like frozen too?

50 replies

Hurr1cane · 22/11/2014 15:01

I just assumed they did, DS loves things like climbing trees and getting muddy, like I did as a child, but he also likes the frozen film and frozen dolls.

Today tesco had a 'frozen event' on, I didn't realise beforehand but we were in town anyway buying him some new stiff, uncomfortable boots to wear with his new, uncomfortable insoles because his feet have become extremely deformed through not walking with the correct support and his knees and legs are a bit out of whack as well. He's very much struggling to walk at the moment and I have to hold him up and help him if you see what I mean so he doesn't fall. It is quite obvious at the moment that he is disabled where it isn't usually and we were quite obviously struggling today.

Anyway as a treat for him being really good and putting them on I decided to take him to look at the frozen event, we queued up for the colouring, at which point a woman pushed past him and sent him flying to get to a chair first with her daughter. There were plenty of chairs. Then gave me a funny look when I sat DS down.

The table was full of girls but DS didn't notice, and the staff were really talking to every child, except DS. Anyway he did his colouring and we walked very slowly to the queue for the free sticker book and really naff crown thing that he was pointing at since we sat down.

When we got to the queue and waited someone pushed past and stood in front of us again, I said excuse me we are in the queue as well and she looked at DS and said 'oh I didn't think you would be' and then carried in standing in front of us.

Then when we got to the front the woman handed him a colouring book and then started talking to the little girl behind him about the crowns, DS was pointing at the crowns and bouncing so I asked if he could have one as well and she said "oh... Ok" passed him one and carried on ignoring him

I felt really shit for him. I don't think it had anything to do with his disability though and everything to do with the fact he's a boy. It really annoyed me, the crown wasn't even a girly thing it was just a naff paper effort with pictures of all the characters on it.

I ended up feeling that I might have been unreasonable to take him to a 'girls thing' but I really didn't think it was.

OP posts:

puntasticusername · 22/11/2014 15:45

YANBU, and I'm angry for your poor DS, how horrid

We've just got home from a Frozen-themed birthday party, and the boys were doing everything the girls were - singing along to Let It Go (at least ten times. Is it too early for ?), queuing up for cuddles with the "real" Elsa and Olaf. Everyone had a great time.

CoolCadbury · 22/11/2014 15:45

That's so sad, OP.

It really gets on my nerves when people stare or do a double take when DS (6) takes his Anna doll out with him. Actually children are even more obvious but I don't mind it from them.

Original poster

Hurr1cane · 22/11/2014 15:48

Browneyes I expected the kind if experience you had. I was there early, we only queued with about 3 other children because they were just finishing setting up and when they said come and sit down I started walking DS as we were in front and this woman pushed past him with her daughter (she did the pushing not the little girl) so hard that I lost my grip on him and he went flying. I would expect a child to act like that and wouldn't think anything of it but an adult?

There was plenty of spaces and then a couple of minutes after he sat down there was a good few children waiting their turn. The person who took DSs seat after he got up held their child back and let me exit with him nicely though.

The staff really were right in there and involved with everyone other than him though

OP posts:

Browneyesblue · 22/11/2014 16:08

Some people have shocking manners :(

Even if she hadn't realised your DS was waiting, it was inexcusable of the other mother to barge past a child that way. I would have been mortified if I had knocked someone's DC over!

I would give feedback to the store about your experience - it might help them improve the way that they run future events. You could mention the good service that you normally receive, and use it as a comparison to today's disappointing visit.

I'm sure your DS will love his Frozen presents. There's nothing weird about buying a child toys that he will like :)

Original poster

Hurr1cane · 22/11/2014 16:12

Thank you, he is getting a lot of frozen stuff, also a lot of spiderman stuff. He won't play with any of it, he will line it all up in the same line and look at how lovely they look in the line

OP posts:

SophiaPetrillo · 22/11/2014 16:12

My friend's 8 year old DS is obsessed with Frozen, literally obsessed. He takes a lot of stick for it from his classmates, but he's secure enough in himself not to care.

FixItUpChappie · 22/11/2014 16:15

How sad for a child to be treated like that

Of course your not unreasonable OP. I notice my son has been breaking into "Let it Go" here and there while playing. He liked the movie a lot. Why on earth wouldn't he?!

VashtaNerada · 22/11/2014 16:15

YANBU. on your behalf! My DS loves Frozen too.

needaholidaynow · 22/11/2014 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ColgateSmile · 22/11/2014 17:07

I hope your son had a good time at the event anyway Hurr1cane , what a shame people are so bloody narrow minded.

That sort of attitude really pisses me off (that certain things are 'for girls' or 'for boys'), my youngest son (almost 6) is totally crazy about Hello Kitty and My Little Pony.

He has seen a bright pink Hello Kitty bag that he wants for Christmas, it really upset me to have to talk to him about the way that other children might react to him having a pink rucksack ... Luckily he doesn't give a shit, he just wants the bag!

GooodMythicalMorning · 22/11/2014 17:15

That's sad. Frozen is fine for boys. Even dh loves it!!

Original poster

Hurr1cane · 22/11/2014 17:49

DSs dad loves it as well he says. So DS watches it here and at his dads. He loves it.

I've never really experienced any of these gender stereotype things before because DS is a mud monster and we are usually out squelching through mud or doing messy things and everyone says 'oh he's a proper boy isn't he?' But I guess that means that when I was a child I was a boy as well because I was just as gross.

I suppose I was more shocked because I didn't think that it would be an issue in this day and age. Clearly I live in my own fantasy bubble.

OP posts:

Iggity · 22/11/2014 17:58

I bought my 5 yr old DS the Frozen DVD today. Had actually passed me by until song was continually being played at birthday parties and inspired me to investigate.......

CrockedPot · 22/11/2014 18:03

DS2 (aged 7) loves it and we have it on DVD to watch tonight. What a horrible experience you had - I would certainly let Tesco know what you went through.

GreenShadow · 22/11/2014 18:04

My DS loves Frozen......

and he's 20!

Original poster

Hurr1cane · 22/11/2014 18:10

I don't really like complaining. I feel really bad in case I've got it wrong or something.

I'm pretty sure I haven't though. I'm used to DS being treated differently and being looked at funny by ignorant people because if his disabilities so things like this usually go right over my head, but it was so in your face obvious that I felt really embarrassed

OP posts:

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 22/11/2014 18:40

I agree with Browneyes I'd give feedback, if you're not comfortable doing it face to face email them. The thought of any child being made to feel unwelcome makes me

merlehaggard · 22/11/2014 19:18

DS (aged4) loves Doc McStuffins and before that, it was Peppa Pig. I don't know why they seem to think only girls will like these programmes and make the products so female orientated.

WalkingInMemphis · 22/11/2014 19:25

Never mind ds's.
My dh is 31. He's very into music in general and loves musical theatre.

He has the frozen soundtrack on his I pod . He especially loves the trolls song. His exact words when he first saw frozen (with the kids!) was 'Wow, the songs in that...that would make a fantastic musical. If they ever put it on the London stage, you know what to get me for my next birthday' ...he was deadly serious so I'm keeping my eyes open for it :)

maddening · 22/11/2014 19:35

I'm having to make a Kristoff costume for a frozen party in January whereas there are tons of Ana and Elsa costumes, ds sings let it go all the time and we will be going to frozen on ice when it gets here - we missed out on frozen in the woods recently - gutted

LurcioAgain · 22/11/2014 19:38

Sorry those people were such arses to you and your DS, Hurr1cane. MY ds likes Frozen (he's 6 going on 7). My DS has long hair (at his own request) and the number of adults who think he's a girl (even when wearing obviously boy clothes). Grr!

shockedballoon · 22/11/2014 20:00

I would be visibly fuming if that had happened to my DS.

He's just turned 5 and his best presents were a power ranger megazord from one grandma and Elsa & Anna dolls from the other grandma. He sleeps with the dolls every night.

He also has Elsa and Anna pyjamas that he loves - in fact I had to engineer that they were in the wash for School's pj day for children in need as I'm pretty sure the older kids would've teased him about it in the playground.

I'm also finding it hard to find decent frozen dress up for him - particularly as we are going to a frozen sing-a-long on 6th dec, which he is v excited about. Best I've managed (that's not ridiculously expensive) is an Olaf onsie from Tesco for £12, but I'd love to find a Kristoff costume. Wish there was more boy-friendly Frozen stuff - not that I have an issue with him having 'girly' things, but do think they're missing a trick.

Pigriver · 22/11/2014 20:17

My KS1 class all love frozen and have chosen it as our next class book and as a basis of our Christmas show. I thought it would be a hard sell on some of the boys but they are loving it and know all the words from the songs. I am really pleased because their parents heavily gender stereotype them and have very clear ideas about girls and boys roles and things.
Letters went home yesterday about the show so I am interested to see if any of the parents mention it. Out of 28 kids 16 are boys.

ghostspirit · 22/11/2014 20:31

not read all the thread as im lazy. my son is 7 and loves frozen sings it all the time. and acts it out with my dd,

the public can be ignorant and rude. people who are meant to be in the profession of entertaining children no way should they respond in that way. thats disgusting

StillSquirrelling · 22/11/2014 20:42

MY DS loves Frozen! He's 3 but has two big sisters and Frozen is about the only thing he will actually sit still long enough to watch on TV (apart from Mr Tumble). He's very much a typical boy but also loves to dress up in the princess dresses and tutus, or don a pair of sparkly heels, or a crown/hairband/hair clips.

He plays with the dolls more than my daughters ever did/do. He'd ADORE an Elsa crown! I recently ordered some cheap Elsa dresses from China but they are way too small for my daughters so I used DS to model one so I could sell them on locally. He had a right old tantrum when I made him take it off!

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