to tell my dad to fuck off?

[awkwardaardvark]

Hes telling my son hes too skinny andmy daughter shes too fat.
Both are within the normal healthy weight range, though DS is at the bottom, DD near the top.
Ds is NOT skeletal, malnourished, starving etc.
Dd is not a fatty, she doesnt have a big fat bum, etc.
But my dad keeps saying it.

Aibu to tell him to fuck entirely off?

Nope.

yanbu. How rude, and potentially damaging.

Not unreasonable at all. If you don't want to do it, I'll tell him to fuck off for you.

YANBU

Can't you just explain that you don't like it and why?

I think telling him to fuck off if this is the only issue seems a bit extreme but I understand there may be more to this..

Cut the fucker out of your life. I'm serious by the way.

Yanbu. My father did this with one of my dc I had to put him straight which took guts as he's so bloody opinionated but I done it and he's shut up ever since.

I'd tell him to fuck the fuck off and then fuckity fuck off some more.
How dare he undermine your children's body image and self esteeme. And I bet he's no bloody oil painting either!!

YANBU

Tell them and him he's going blind.

YANBU at all. My Grandad was one for telling the women in the family that they were fat (not quite so bluntly but still) - really made my sister unhappy that he did that. And my Mum too, probably (although she never said so to me).

Would he change if you told him his attitude and words have the potential to be severely damaging to his DGC's self esteem? I'd give him the chance to mend his ways, but then tell him to fuck the fuck off.

YADNBU!!! Tell him to fucking off but don't expect him to stop. My dad sent me to a dietician when I was 13 because apparently I was fat - I was a size 10. My mum nd I tried to explain this was bad for body image, etc. I am still never happy with my weigh nd I have been large nd skinny during my adult life.

I assume you have already told him to stop it and he refuses to? Told him to think about how a child feels when things like that are said and the potential damage it can do and he doesn't care?

Yes, I think the next stage is a very blunt pack it in or fuck off.

There is a lot more. Cutting him out would mean cutting out my mum too and shes lovely, but not able to accept that my dad is abusive to her (and me). He drinks, he thinks hes always right and im pretty certain he hates me.
If i told him how damaging his attitude is he would accuse me of using the kids to guilt him, tell me he can fucking do what he fucking wants in his fucking house, and other awful horrible behaviour. Then when i leave he will spend all night screaming and shouting at my mam about my disrespect and attitude, etc.

I wish i could have my mum without my dad

I would never have told my Dad to fuck off, do you have other issues with him?

Can you not just tell him it isn't nice and why?

sorry, missed your last post, if he's so charming maybe you should.

Ive just had to gather the kids up and leave without making it obvious why or he would start shouting and my mam would get the worst later.
I wish she would divorce him and have done since i was about 13.

Oh he sounds such a charmer!

Just keep your children away from him. If your mum wants to see them and you, she'll have to come by herself - or will she not be allowed to?

Wow. This is about far much more than those horrible comments.

I wouldn't take my children back into that house. You can't make him a good grandparent but you can be a better parent than he was and not take your children into that environment and it may be that at some point you have to make a difficult choice.

If you have two choices and they are keep your mum in your life and accept your dad's abusive treatment of you and your children
or
get your dad out of your life and spare you and your children this treatment with all the damage it can do and not see your mum

Then your mum might have to be the price you pay for doing the absolute best for your children.

Would she come to your house alone?

Or maybe, just maybe, you removing yourself on the grounds that you and your children do not deserve to be damaged by him might be that thing she needs to accept that he is abusive and she needs to get out.

What Vitalstatistix said!

Thanks everyone. Ive already distanced myself a lot, it looks like i need to go further.