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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to leave teaching?

440 replies

Timetochangeisnow · 22/11/2014 11:03

AIBU to want to leave teaching?

I'm a Primary School teacher. I love working with children, it's incredibly rewarding and no two days are the same. What I don't love however, is the mounting pressure and constant paperwork and pressure. There is barely time for anything outside of teaching and evenings and weekends are taken over with marking, planning, analysing pupil progress etc. the job in the classroom is increasingly difficult too and I think I need to leave before I have a breakdown.
I am finding I am enjoying the things I used to love less and less. I'm even having dreams about school so can't even escape at night.
I think it's particularly pronounced this year and I have some very difficult children that make every single day a battle.
I think I want out of the classroom now but would still like to remain either in a school or in education.

if the pay was better I'd be a TA no question

I'd consider retraining or studying again but I'm the main breadwinner and we have to renew our mortgage next summer!

Has anyone done similar? I don't know what's out there etc and haven't found anything online the last few months.

If anyone can point me I the right direction or has felt similar and stayed in teaching after feeling like this would be good to know!

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 22/11/2014 23:00

That's not fair of your DH to tell you to stop you looking. Would he rather you had a complete breakdown!?

I've had days where I've thought about just driving-anywhere else, into a wall even-rather than going to work. Or where I've heard about someone with a broken leg and wished that was me so I could have 6 weeks away from it all. I've composed my resignation letter 100 times in my head and am so jealous of people that can retire now.

I hate feeling like this, but my DH is very supportive. You can't hate this situation and just be told to put up with it-you will make yourself ill :(

rockpinkpumpkin · 22/11/2014 23:04

Oh wow...what a very interesting thread.
I am currently training to be a teacher, in my first year.
The tutors have said that we will have an advantage coming in fresh - faced and confident of the "new way" to do things, and that we will not have known it any other way - what do you think?

Keepcalmanddrinkwine · 22/11/2014 23:09

Honestly, I expect new teachers to fit into the new way of doing things but to only stay teaching for about 5 years before moving on. It just isn't sustainable. Hopefully, someone will see sense and a balance will be restored.

tilliebob · 22/11/2014 23:11

The last few probationers that I mentored can't see themselves doing this job for any more than 5-10 years. They certainly, having passed their probation year, envisage this being a career for life.

meandjulio · 22/11/2014 23:11

It is scary of course to think about losing your house, I wouldn't criticise your dh there. But it's not helpful just to say 'stop'.

What is your situation? Is your DH able to work at all? I can well imagine with a partner teaching full-time he might have to be at home full-time, but maybe there are more options - if you are doing a different job, perhaps there would be enough time for him to work too and fill the financial gap that way?

tilliebob · 22/11/2014 23:12

*don't envisage ....trying to do 4 things at once!

rollonthesummer · 22/11/2014 23:13

I bet all your tutors are ex-teachers who hated being in the classroom and jumped ship! That's interesting they say that, though-they must know everyone is at rock bottom and are trying to justify it to you as being 'not that bad'!? That slightly smacks of them trying to say we are all old codgers who remember the 'good old days' when we all went to the pub on Friday lunchtime, yet you will all be just hard-working from the beginning! It's not your fault in the slightest-please don't feel I'm getting at you-that just feels like another slap in the face.

I wouldn't touch teaching with a barge-pole at the moment and if you hadn't started already, I'd strongly advise you not to go there. The two NQTs at my school since last September at my school were both sacked by Christmas.

Lazymummy2014 · 22/11/2014 23:13

Pumpkin -you do have an advantage for a very short space of time as you will see all the demands made on you as 'normal'. But before long you, like pretty much everyone else, will realise that it is unfeasible to maintain that level of workload and scrutiny over a 45 year career. Then you will do one of two things - burn out and leave teaching or climb the promotion ladder as fast and far as possible, get yourself out of the classroom as much as you are able, and spend your time dumping all this shit on the poor people below you who are still trying to teach children.

duchesse · 22/11/2014 23:21

Agree with lazymummy, along with "of course your tutors would say that- they're trying to fulfill a govt contract to provide fresh cannon fodder teachers.

I left and have never gone back. Still a bit phobic about schools tbh. My last school was at the forefront of a lot of the crap that's happening now. A full time working week for me was 70 hours. It is highly unsustainable for more than a few years. My mental and physical health suffered so much- I agree with all the comments about looking 10 younger after leaving. My driving licence photo taken at that time makes me look like my own grandmother. My physical health has never properly recovered.

rockpinkpumpkin · 22/11/2014 23:22

I don't see myself as having a huge long career in it TBH, as I'm 40 and a single mum, but I have always wanted to teach.
The placements I've been on have teachers who are outstanding, unflappable and calm. I want to be like them. However of course I don't see (and of course I won't be shown) what's going on underneath do I? (not yet, anyway)
Please don't think I'm having a go at any posters, nor belittling anyone, I am genuinely interested in all perspectives, so this is really exciting for me.

Cherrypi · 22/11/2014 23:33

My colleague used to rewrite her resignation letter regularly. She didn't live long enough to submit it. I'm so glad I'm out its a brutal job. I wonder if as more women have entered the profession working conditions have deteriorated.

ilovesooty · 22/11/2014 23:38

Your partner is failing to see the very real risks to your health if you remain in a job which is causing you such distress. If he won't even engage in your need to look for alternatives that concerns me.
Perhaps my reaction is coloured by the fact that teaching made me very ill in the end, but I think he needs to see the warning signs and understand the very real potential consequences of shutting his mind to this.

storynanny2 · 22/11/2014 23:47

Rollonthesummer and hate spiders, you are so absolutely right. I could have written your posts.
I taught for 35 years and was broken in the last couple of years. Took early retirement with a reduced titchy pension 3 years ago. I do a bit of infant supply locally and can confirm it is getting worse and worse in schools for teachers. At one school I work in , a smallish primary, 17 members of staff ( ta s and teachers)have left in the last 18 months.
I can't see how young teachers can sustain this level of intense work for the whole of their working life.
I am so disappointed that I had to give up as I love working with young children and still felt I had a lot to give.
I hope you find the courage to leave and change your career. I wish I was able to find something else but not sure what as I am in my late 50's. Still need to earn though as no state pension til I'm 66!

nitsparty · 23/11/2014 00:01

you'll probably roll your eyes at this suggestion , but here goes. have you approached your union? not for a specific problem but for support? when I first went off to big union conference, my jaw dropped. My own whines and moans-which I thought were just me- turned out to be "conference motions" and were being discussed on stage in a huge room with hundreds of people. It was very empowering. Before you give up your career and your pension get to a conference or at least a meeting and see if there's some help out there. There might be something that can make all the difference but they can't help if they don't know! btw 30+ years teaching 10+ years activism.

Quenna · 23/11/2014 00:09

Left teaching after 20 years full time in primary. Wouldn't go back for 10 million quid. I was really good at it too. Was enormously damaging to my physical and mental health. I was also the main wage earner.

We have survived on much less money. It can be done.

Since I left a year ago every single teacher at that school had left. 1 to the private sector. All the rest have left teaching.

It's really tragic.

LostInMusic · 23/11/2014 07:57

I left my full-time English teaching job at Easter and wouldn't go back for anything - it genuinely nearly completely broke me! I am only just starting to feel like myself again, both mentally and physically. In the short term, I am doing Supply and exam marking, but definitely won't go back to teaching.
I feel deeply sad about what is happening to teaching and worry that a real crisis in the profession is just round the corner. When I qualified 8 years ago, there was at least 30 people applying for each job - really good schools are now failing to get more than 1 or 2 applicants for secondary core subject jobs. Lots of schools are simply unable to recruit. I worry about who will be left to teach my son when he reaches secondary age...
Unless you're dependent on a full-time income, could Supply be a way forward for you too? I worked every day last week in a really nice school and am already booked for 3 days next week - it has been a total lifeline for me.

Dustinthewind · 23/11/2014 08:05

'Oh wow...what a very interesting thread.
I am currently training to be a teacher, in my first year.
The tutors have said that we will have an advantage coming in fresh - faced and confident of the "new way" to do things, and that we will not have known it any other way - what do you think?'

You will have, until the ground shifts and the goalposts change again. Then you will be trying to keep your balance with the rest of us. Have your tutors told you how many new initiatives have been placed on primaries in the last decade? The last 20 years? Don't get too comfortable thinking you know 'the new way' It will be obsolete in the blink of an eye.

Purplepoodle · 23/11/2014 08:09

You have until next summer so perhaps look at alternatives, get any skills you need for a change. In the summer take a 5/10 year fixed mortgage and go get the job you want. Give yourself a chance to build up to a similar wage that your on now before you have to renew again.

Mehitabel6 · 23/11/2014 08:09

No 'new' things have lasted long!

Dustinthewind · 23/11/2014 08:13

I still love teaching, I enjoy every day in the classroom and feel enthusiastic and appreciated.
But then, I'm a supply teacher. Grin

Purplepoodle · 23/11/2014 08:13

A work friends wife has just moved into a support role in her school working with kids who have math and English problems. Same pay but hardly any lesson planning and works with small groups. She did some extra training in her own time on special education needs.

HalfSpamHalfBrisket · 23/11/2014 08:21

Timetochange
Can you remortgage now? If there are penalties can you cover them?
If early remortgage is not possible (may be worth checking with a financial advisor), would it be possible to make a definite plan to leave once the remortgage is completed?
I know I will resign at the end of this year latest, and it's helping me to see light at the end of the tunnel. (I love(d) teaching, have done it for 6 years after a successful career in industry, but I want my life back!)

Unescorted · 23/11/2014 08:41

Can I just say (slightly off topic) that as a parent I really appreciate all the work that teachers put in. It is very easy as parents to criticise teachers as we all think we know Children because we have our own. This does not mean that I have any understanding of how to prep a lesson that is suitable for 30 kids or to benchmark marking against national standards, not to forget the myriad of safeguarding, H&S, policy changes.

So thank you for caring about my kids....

Bea · 23/11/2014 09:19

I do think there is a real change from being in the job for life... To leaving after 5 and 10 years... It's quite sad to think where are all the experienced teachers.? .. Are my children going to be solely taught by nqt's? (nothing wrong with nqts... Obviously!!)
Somethings got to give sooner or later!

DustInTheWind · 23/11/2014 09:28

'It's quite sad to think where are all the experienced teachers.? .. Are my children going to be solely taught by nqt's?'

And me. I have 30 years of experience.
Your children will be taught by people who have been in the profession up to 10 years, who are doing a job share or who are supply.