To be annoyed

[slithytove]

At soft play yesterday at a toddler group, so no one older than 4. It's a mums group and engineered so the kids can just run about and do their own thing, great if you have younger babies.

A mum came over to me with ds (I was feeding 9 week old dd) asking if he had any allergies, because she had just given him 3 pieces of birthday cake.

He doesn't. But he has his food intake quite strictly controlled as he is prone to being overweight and my entire family doesn't cope well on artificial colours and E numbers etc. Also he is only 19 months old and I do try and keep him away from shop bought cake where possible disclaimer I am a cake snob as I bake a lot

Aibu to think this was really stupid of her in case he did have allergies, and to be annoyed that he had THREE pieces of cake! I saw them, they weren't small. He was also sick later that day though of course I don't know if it's related.

I sensible adult would've said "go and ask mummy first".
Doubt she meant any harm, just a bit mindless!

No harm done.

How can a 19 month old be prone to being overweight?

YANBU, I would always check with the parent first.

I would however be a bit concerned that he was out of your sight long enough to eat 3 large slices of cake, without you noticing.

I know he was in a safe environment and you were feeding your baby, but still he's only 19 months old.

Who on earth would give an unknown toddler any kind of food without first referring to mum? He could have had nut allergy, coeliac, intolerance to additives etc. And 3 pieces?? YANBU. If she'd asked first, fine.

Not sure Rita, but he eats a perfectly normal diet and yet is on the 91st centile for weight.

Which is fine as he is 75 th for height, but it can't go up any more, so things like 3 pieces of cake really do make a difference.

Health visitor knows all this.

He had major thyroid, liver and blood issues in his first 6 months of life, which caused him to be very skinny to the point of not being on the growth charts. So this was corrected with meds but weight gain has to be monitored as a result and make sure it doesn't go too far the other way.

I wouldn't give any food to a child without firstly checking with a parent that it was ok to do so, 3 slices as well is ridiculous.

Yes , I'd be miffed but I also second Worra's point that he was out of your sight long enough to have consumed that cake and you do have to take some responsibility for that.

YANBU. Three pieces?! I wouldn't give my nine year old three pieces of cake- and I'm her mother,

Really? Three slices? My DS is 19 months and on the 97th percentile for weight and the 50th for height. He loves his food but even he couldn't manage 3 'not small' slices of cake. Maybe she meant three pieces, as in bites.

How long was he out of your site to not notice 3 pieces?

He could eat that in seconds, he troughs food.

Away from my sight for a minute, and it is a group where we all watch each other's kids.

That is U at that age whether its cake or three apples. Some people love to stuff food down kids' faces don't they?

Then it was only 3 pieces

Even an adult couldn't eat 3 'not small' slices of cake in 1 minute

Still makes the woman unreasonable though, for not asking you.

On the other hand, if you all watch each other's kids, why did no-one else notice?

Did you tel her you were unhappy with what she'd done?

*tell

YANBU.

My MiL once gave 18 month old DD 3 Tunnocks Tea Cakes. When DD vomited and I worked out from the quantities all over the car seats, what had happened, DH rang her to ask. She told us it was DD's fault as she "gobbles her food". No parent would give their own child that much.

Maybe others did notice and didn't like to say anything. I didn't say anything other than confirm he has no allergies - what's the point.

I saw the pieces, about 2 inch square so not small. He is easily capable of eating that though - and he was sick later.

He has no off button when it comes to food hence the strict regulation. He really would eat until he was sick if he could - he did it once with his Nanna.

Very similar to us Rose.

Worra honestly he stuffs it in, rams it in with fists, it's horrible to watch.

I didn't say anything other than confirm he has no allergies - what's the point. well ,to make sure it doesn't happen again?

Well my answer would have been 'Luckily, no, as it's a bit late to ask now, isn't it?'

Stupid!!

The cake benefactress needs a lesson in what happens if you give something to a kid who goes into anaphylactic shock, what an absolute moron.

Good answer castle, I will consider that if it happens again. Most mums are very understanding that they ask first, hence my surprise as I didn't anticipate this.

The soft play really is very safe, a totally enclosed room and I can see the whole play section from where I sit, just couldn't see this woman's table.