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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder if anyone with children ever actually has a house that looks like they don't?

93 replies

CheerfulYank · 21/11/2014 18:05

I have a friend who has no children but has always said that when she does, she will have a home that looks like children don't live there.

She was at a mutual friend's the other day. Mutual friend has a four year old and a newborn, and she had just received a new swing from her ILs.

Childless friend said that she would be "so irritated" with gifts like that because sue doesn't want junk all over her house. Friend with the newborn said "well kids do have stuff." Childless friend said "well there will be a high chair in the corner of course."

I think she's in for a massive shock. I do try to keep my kids' things fairly tidied away in baskets and stuff, but you can definitely tell children live very here!

But then I thought, she is very organized and only wants one, so it is possible.

Anyone actually have a house that looks pristine with kids?

OP posts:
Goldenlab · 21/11/2014 19:05

I never had children's toys permanently downstairs. Their toys would be tidied away and put back in their bedrooms at bedtime. They always played in the living room, but I like an adult room at night time. Same goes for shoes and coats. One coat downstairs at a time and current pair of shoes (and Wellies). I'm not particularly tidy, I just don't like stuff around.

MarjorieMelon · 21/11/2014 19:09

I did have that attitude until I had children, I also said that I didn't want any childrens toys in the garden because it looked tacky. I think I wanted a doll not a child.

These days my house is a complete tip and looks like there are 20 children that live here.

I said some very stupid things pre-children.

MistressDeeCee · 21/11/2014 19:13

Well if thats your friend's aim OP I bet she has a miserable child on her hands. When my DDs were younger the house was definetely messier with their stuff around, but I don't get hung up on things like that. As a mother there's more than enough to do already. You just do your best. I will never forget me and a friend visiting a work colleague who had a young DD. Whilst we were all chatting over coffee she kept eyeing her daughter..the minute her daughter finished playing with a toy, she snatched it up and put it away'have you finished? I'll put it away then' barely giving her DD time to answer. She was so unrelaxed, very into having a show home. No thank you.

russellgrantschin · 21/11/2014 19:15

We have friends with two kids (toddlers) whose houses don't look like they have kids.

They have the kids on one floor of the house which is a total dump (includes 2 bedrooms, nursery and bathroom) and all the other floors are immaculate.

HicDraconis · 21/11/2014 19:26

My house looks like it has children in - in that there is a playroom with toys in it and two very obvious child bedrooms. Aside from that you couldn't tell if we had children or not from the kitchen / dining room / lounge / bathrooms though. The boys are older though (7&8) so mostly into electronics which don't get scattered through the house, or lego which is relatively easily confined to bedrooms (unless we're having a legothon weekend and then it's all over the dining table!)

dreamingbohemian · 21/11/2014 19:27

No Annie I don't think you're weird.

We're not evil or joyless, honest. Just one kid, not tons of stuff, and good storage so it takes 5 minutes to chuck everything in, then I can relax for the evening in a neat space. By the same token me and DH don't have our stuff strewn all over the place either.

toomuchtooold · 21/11/2014 19:38

We have two year old twins and our house doesn't look like two kids live in it. A troupe of monkeys, maybe - there's no way two little kids could be responsible for all this mess, is there?

RubyGoat · 21/11/2014 19:40

Generally when I make dinner or do the dishes, I return to a scene of absolute devastation - board books, playmobil, duplo, brio train set, soft toys, damn cookie jar, play food - all over the living room which is basically a big play pen for DD. Added to which, we currently have fleece covers on the sofa & rug as DD has spent the last week vomiting up most of her food, sometimes hours after she's eaten. The bath tidy is mostly occupied by DD's toys & there are more stuck to the wall. At bedtime & before we go out, all toys are tidied away into various storage boxes which stay in the living room. CBA carting it all up & downstairs every day.

Your friend is either living in cloud cuckoo land or she's going to have some massively bored kids.

Midori1999 · 21/11/2014 19:43

One of my friend's houses looks like a show home. No sign of tiys or possessions. I find it difficult to relax there tbh.

Dragonfly71 · 21/11/2014 19:47

This reminds me of the friends who have a designer Christmas tree downstairs and one for the children to put their "crap" on upstairs/ in the family room. Sigh.

Oldraver · 21/11/2014 19:57

One of my neighbours has a 6 year old and an absolutely pristine house, if it wasn't for the very tasteful photos you wouldn't know a child lived there, though I've not been upstairs.

We have a downstairs bedroom we use as a playroom that is wall to wall toys, neighbours is a calm looking space with no sign of toys probably all shoved in the built in wardrobe.

The difference from your friend is that they are a really nice young couple, your friend sounds a nightmare and I assume want to live with this modern streamlined look. Their girl has occasionally said our house is messy and this week I did gently remind her different people live different ways.

Original poster
CheerfulYank · 21/11/2014 20:05

I don't think it's weird, the people who have said that everything is tidied away at night! That's what I aim for too.

I just think she thinks it is going to be tidy ALL THE TIME and unless you rush after said child snapping up toys the minute he/she drops them, it seems impossible.

OP posts:
kaymondo · 21/11/2014 20:14

I imagine my in laws house was like this when DH was growing up. It is very much like a show home and I find it very impersonal.

In our house we have an adult living room which is free of toys and kids clutter (but with lots of photos of them). I like having that child free space to relax in at night. Rest of the house is all about the kids, including big family/play room with wall to wall storage! As with others, I like to tidy at bed times and if there is a ridiculous amount of stuff out but by and large I let the kids get on with it.

Oldraver · 21/11/2014 20:19

I think like anything in life, your life evolves...when DS was a baby we had baby parapernalia in the living room and had toys downstairs that were tidied at night.

We have now got to the stage where yes there are no toys in the living room and it does look like an adult space apart from a child size chair. All toys are now in the toy room or DS's bedroom and a few in his bathroom.

ghostyslovesheep · 21/11/2014 20:22

yeah Oldraver you make a good point - mine are 6,10 and 12 now so no need for all the baby things everywhere

BikeRunSki · 21/11/2014 20:28

Friend of mine once remarked " I don't think there's one square inch of your house Bike that doesn't show you have children". That made me Grin

hufflebottom · 21/11/2014 20:33

My ex was really precious about his house. My Dd (not his) would not be allowed her toys downstairs when he got home and her room had to be spotless....

I'm so hoping he hasn't managed to get the biro off his leather sofa and chairs and that the wallpaper she pulled off the wall is still peeling...

My flat now looks like a bomb has hit every night but it doesn't take long to straighten things away. And I'm so glad my dd can have somewhere she can call hers rather than saying its her mummy's ex house.

RiverTam · 21/11/2014 20:33

I will always aim for there to be visible signs that we have a child, even when DD gets to the stage of having everything in her room. My parents didn't have a single photo of us up. Throughout uni years and living away from home in our 20s and 30s, you could visit their house and not know they had 2 DDs. I did make the point when I graduated that my DP-at-the-time's parents had my graduation photo up, which was more than they did. Still no change. It was until after my mum's 70th party, when I was 35, that photographic evidence of our existence appeared.

Bonsoir · 21/11/2014 20:33

The bicycles/scooters/artwork/dolls houses/bean bags/musical instruments adorning our communal living spaces are an integral part of my decorative scheme and demonstrate our family tastes and values to all who cross the threshold Smile

Boomtownsurprise · 21/11/2014 20:33

I couldn't. But then their stuff helps me know they live.

My mum lost my bro at 18mths before I existed. I always thought I understood. Then dd reached 18mths. The realisation hit like a ton truck. I'm not quite sure how they got through.

Just imagine not having their stuff around. Whatever that is. My kids will be seen and heard because I'm so lucky I have them.

Esmum07 · 21/11/2014 20:37

Downstairs looks like a home with no child in it...from about 8pm when I have piled all his junk (sorry, toys) into a cupboard and forced the door shut! Upstairs looks like an explosion in ToysRUs most of the time (his room and the bathroom - occasionally migrating into our bedroom) and downstairs looks the same during the daylight hours!

LuckyCharms · 21/11/2014 20:39

There isn't a corner of our house that hasn't been taken over by my kids.

Our living room is full of the baby's toys.

The dining room is now a play room, for toys like lego that the baby can't play with.

Our kitchen/diner has kid's pictures all over the wall, letters from school, homework, and a jumperoo in the corner.

Kids bedrooms are....a mess. DD1 has stuck posters all over her walls at interesting angles Hmm

The bath has a crocodile shaped bath mat and loads of ducks and stacking cups in it.

Garage is full of scooters/bikes/trikes.

Garden has a swing and sandpit.

Car has carseats, toys, books, sweet wrappers, crumbs.

Our bedroom has the secret dummy stash, several muslins, breastfeeding cushion.

Lambzig · 21/11/2014 20:47

My sister. She doesn't allow her three DC (2, 5 and 8) to have any toys in the drawing room or the kitchen/diner, or bedrooms. Toys are only allowed in the garage playroom and that's where they stay. All old toys get thrown away at Christmas if they want new ones. I think it's awful. Why would you not want your children to feel it's their house too? (Obviously an opinion I keep firmly to myself)

StackladysMorphicResonator · 21/11/2014 20:59

Aw, Vital, your sons sound lovely!

Bamummy · 21/11/2014 21:11

My DB is like this, his house is like a show home, you would never know kids live there. Whenever they get a toy they get moaned at and told to take it back upstairs. But when they come to my house they have no respect for anything they get all the toys out and basically destroy the place! Then it takes me ages to tidy up afterwards. My house does look like kids live here but we have good storage and when the kids are in bed it's tidy.