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AIBU?

To assume not being permitted to play Xbox/Playstation is pure snobbishness?

129 replies

RichTeas · 20/11/2014 11:14

Computer games are part of normal childhood now, and even give the children shared experiences. Why do some parents deny their children a bit of fun and modern learning. Moderation is the key, but some parents seem to think computer games are the end of civilisation.

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MaidOfStars · 20/11/2014 11:17

What's wrong with shared experiences around a football in a park?

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DoughnutSelfie · 20/11/2014 11:18

Well there is a pretty hefty cost consideration with initial outlay, non?

The parents might be dissembling wrt money

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RichTeas · 20/11/2014 11:18

Nothing wrong with that. What's wrong with shared experience on a computer screen? It's different, that's all.

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hellsbellsmelons · 20/11/2014 11:20

Well my DD is not interested in Playstations or Xboxes.
Just not in the slightest.
She got herself a Nintendo a little while ago but I've not seen her playing on it.
She'd rather read a book or watch crap TV.
She's nearly 17 by the way.

It can be very addictive.
You just have to look on her and see how many posts say that DH doesn't talk all evening. Is up until the early hours playing games etc....

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Mrsstarlord · 20/11/2014 11:21

I hate computer games with a passion and if I was a lone parent I wouldn't have them in the house. My husband disagrees with me and has bought them for the kids with the rationale that its not fair as everyone at school will have them. He probably has a point but I'd still get rid at the first opportunity if I had my way. I know I'm BU and YANBU (although I don't think its a snobbery thing) but I see lots of negatives with them but very limited positives.
plus I'm an old fart and was born about 30 years too late for my views on life

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DoughnutSelfie · 20/11/2014 11:21

Actually, seeing one's child distraught after a Minecraft Griefing does rather push one towards football in the park.

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DwellsUndertheSink · 20/11/2014 11:21

I didn't let me kids have a playstation/wii etc until they were 8 or 9 - and then, they had a DS. Later they got a wii, when they were 11ish?

Its not snobbery, I wanted them to be climbing trees and swimming and playing football and jumping on the trampoline. I wanted them reading books. I didnt want them glued to a screen.

I've always seen electronic games as antisocial - they go to a mates house and they are plonked in front of a screen. They argue about whose turn it is. Not everyone has the same attitude to the PEGI ratings on games - my son thinks I am terrible for now allowing him to have COD or GTA (both 18s) at 14.

And I am not convinced that gaming does not have a detrimental effect on behaviour.

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DwellsUndertheSink · 20/11/2014 11:23

not allowing, not now allowing.

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smokinggnu · 20/11/2014 11:33

Not interested, DD have never asked for anything like that (7 and 9). Computer games just aren't everyone's 'thing' it's not being a killjoy / tight. Just can't be bothered.
I don't think it's a 'normal' part of childhood though. I work as a TA with year 4, I'd say a 1/3 use computer games. Not unusual, but it's not for everybody.

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Blueteas · 20/11/2014 11:37

I think they're moronic. Not normal in our house.

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RichTeas · 20/11/2014 11:40

Sorry I don't believe the line that "my kids are not interested"? Perhaps at 17 when they should be rightly thinking about boys of other things. But as someone said, they are addictive, and if you expose children to games at juniors age to mid secondary, they will play the games and enjoy them. That's why it's a question of snobbishness. Parents decide that the kids would be better off playing in the park and cut out one of the entertainment options, and then cooly explain that their child is not interested. Of course outside play is great, and essential, as are board games and Lego and the rest of it, but in the modern electronic world, surely computer games have a place too?

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RichTeas · 20/11/2014 11:42

What do your kids think Blueteas? You are entitled to think they are moronic, that's the snobbish attitude I am referring to, and that's fine, people are snobbish about all sorts of things.

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WaroftheRoses · 20/11/2014 11:44

What is a normal childhood?! For us and people we know it is being surrounded by animals, countryside, being outside in all weathers, doing sports and activities and seeing people in real life. Sitting in front of a gaming screen for hours on end is not normal. And we like to be normal so we don't have one!
Shared experiences? Anything 2 or more kids do together are shared experiences-good or bad. Again the presence of a PS3 isn't vital....

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Tinkerball · 20/11/2014 11:48

Why do some people think it's got to be one or the other eg "I want my kids go at other games, climb trees" etc? My sons do both, just because they line their computer games doesn't mean they don't okay outside, draw and paint etc. Aldi I think bots are more interested in them generally than girls in my experience.

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ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 20/11/2014 11:51

They're bad for developing brains OP. We have no such computer games in our home and my DC are happy, sociable, popular and active. They don't have weight issues like so many sedentary computer obsessed DC today either.

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ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 20/11/2014 11:52

Oh and being concerned for your growing child's brain development is a far cry from "snobbish". I'd say it was sensible.

Calling someone "snobbish" because they differ from your opinion is idiotic.

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EveDallasRetd · 20/11/2014 11:53

I don't see why you wouldn't believe that a child could be disinterested in X Box/PS etc.

3/4 years ago I won an X Box Kinect. It came with 4 games, two of which I swapped for family friendly games. We got our gamer neighbour to set it up for us, joined X Box Live and got ready for some fun.

It lasted about a week. Now I could count on my fingers how many times DD has played with it (she's now 9). It is sitting in her playroom gathering dust and is only used if she is having a sleepover and wants to watch a DVD.

I'm just glad it was a raffle prize - it I had paid £300+ for it I'd be gutted.

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SonorousBip · 20/11/2014 11:53

Yep, I'm with you OP.

Mine are 11 and 13 and sure do like a bit of screen time Wink. They also each play sports for their respective schools, read books, do parkrun, go swimming, get their homework done and can make functional conversations with adults. These things are not mutually exclusive.

"What's wrong with football in the park" - well, I just don't get the halcyon "jumpers for goalposts" vibe. It's dark by 4.45pm here (London) and its wet. Ds can do a bit of screen time after his homework, say 8-8.45pm - he ain't going to be out playing football at that time (and Ds has never liked football anyway).

And yes, you have to do some parenting around screens - content, ensuring that they don't get angsty, ensuring that they don't play for long sessions uninterrupted, don't do multiplayer with people they don'y know etc. But that's my job, and frankly all of those are things I'm going to have to do as a parent whether the medium is screen based or otherwise. Banning screens doesn't stop that.

I think it is part of modern childhood and ignoring it is odd. And I envy them - we never had anything near as entertaining or creative in my day. TV used to be the big bogeyman when I was a child - "you will get square eyes" etc. I knew a few friends who were banned from watching tv as children (which as adults they are interestingly still quite resentful about). I think now virtually every parent is of the view that tv used selectively is fab, and the odd bit of mindless bingeing isn't actually the end of the world.

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ThatDamnedBitch · 20/11/2014 11:54

I think it may be down to cost rather not wanting them to play computer games. Have you seen the price of an XBOX one? £360! Or a PS4? £350! Fuck if I was going to spend that on a computer (which I can't BTW) I'd be buying myself a new laptop or a desktop not spending it on frivolous game consoles!

I got a Wii a few years back after doing a product test on MN (for free). My kids do love it and they've got quite a few games now. But before that although they expressed a slight interest I couldn't afford one so it was never an option.

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ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 20/11/2014 11:55

Oh AND as far as educating children with regard to technology, mine both have their own blogs and one manages my Ebay shop. They're perfectly internet savvy thank you.

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RichTeas · 20/11/2014 11:55

Are they bad for developing brains? Didn't they used to say that about TV and even comic books? Not so sure. As adults we're all fairly hooked up to computer screens, certainly anyone on this thread would be! :)

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ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 20/11/2014 11:58

Yes and TV IS bad for developing brains. Mine watch TV but in a limited fashion.

It's like this...we have tonnes of things available to us in the modern world. Processed foods, television for hours per day, computer games....these things are fine in small amounts but not every day like many DC seem to have.

We need to move more, think more and do more creative things...with our whole body...not stare at some fake world on a screen all day.

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cingolimama · 20/11/2014 12:00

As one wise poster said, don't bandy about the word "snobbishness" when really you mean someone disagrees with you.

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IShallCallYouSquishy · 20/11/2014 12:00

DH and I have no interest in computer consoles. We had a wii several years ago, got used a bit then just collected dust. When we moved in 2011 it never got unpacked.

On that basis, DD and DS won't really be around them. They're only babies (2.6 and 9m) so could change in future when they go to friends houses, but we won't be introducing them.

It's not snobbish. I just don't see the need. However if they play with friends at their houses I won't have an issue.

Like I said though, they're only babies and we are all the perfect future parent Smile but I'm fully aware that things could change when they're at junior school.

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browneyedgirl86 · 20/11/2014 12:00

There's nothing wrong with a child having access to a games console if it's moderate use/child does other activities as well as playing games and if it's age appropriate. The amount of young children I know that are playing games ages 18+ is very high.

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