To assume not being permitted to play Xbox/Playstation is pure snobbishness?

[RichTeas]

Computer games are part of normal childhood now, and even give the children shared experiences. Why do some parents deny their children a bit of fun and modern learning. Moderation is the key, but some parents seem to think computer games are the end of civilisation.

[JCDenton]

I love games and it doesn't bother me if others don't have them. They've always been in my life and both my parents have always played games, which is quite unusual considering they're both born in the 50s.

There is definitely some snobbery around games, though. MiL goes on and on about TV shows she watches but is very snobbish towards games, I don't see the difference, personally. I've also been told outright more than once in real life that gaming is 'sad', bit awkward because all the times I was told that the other person didn't know I played games!

I enjoy them a lot, they don't take over my life and they offer something other mediums don't. Not having them is neither here or there, explicitly not allowing them over the threshold or allowing half an hour on an educational game every other month or whatever I find rather odd.

[Starlightbright1]

My DS( 7) has a wii and a DS... I can tell you if he has been on it too long or watching the telly his behaviour goes down hill. He does need limiting not because I am a snob or anti technology I just don't really see it is of great benefit to him.

I find they are his default thing to do but when I say no he seems to find something else to do which seems to give him more pleasure.

He does play some educational games which do seem to help him with his school work particularity maths but the mood result is the same.

[BaffledSomeMore]

Like beaky I do take issue with some of the op's comments. 'Old fashioned' irritated me. We have tech - plenty of it but none of us game. I have never really got it and if I'm going to 'waste' an hour or two then a book or MN would be my choice.
Dd is 8 and doesn't want to know. She'll code though and as I actually code for a living I'm far happier with that than merely being an end user.

[Horsepie]

OP I find your attitude really patronising and ignorant. I am allowed to make parenting choices based on what I believe is right for my children. It does not make me a snob and it has no bearing on the choices you make for your own children.

I "disallow" computer games on in our house. My eldest ds is 9. he will go round to his friends and sit for 2 hours in front of a screen whilst they watch each other play various games with limited social interaction. I don't see the point. My son has a laptop and I don't mind a bit of minecraft or other games/programs which I perceive to have some value.

Just because gaming is part of the modern world it doesn't mean it is a good thing. Lots of things are part of the modern world which aren't.

Whilst they are young and their brains are malleable I would like my children to learn how to entertain themselves without having to rely on the fast paced stimulation of a computer game to tell them what to do. When they are a bit older I may reassess this but right now I certainly do not think he is missing out.

[MarjorieMelon]

We have a wii. I will eventually cave in and get them an XBox but at the moment we are sticking with the wii. My nephew lives on his Xbox and rarely ventures out of his room whereas I find the wii to be more sociable. When we do get an Xbox we will keep it the shared den and away from bedrooms.

My children spend far too much time playing Minecraft on the Kindle. Dh says that I shouldn't worry because Minecraft is good for their development. I was having this conversation with my Mum recently and she said that my children are far more sociable than I ever was as I would lock myself away in my room to read all the time which is a fair point.

[Lucyccfc]

It's all about balance for me.

When the weather is fine, my DS is outside playing football and cycling. We go to parks and generally love a good ride out on our bikes.

When the weather is rubbish and wet and cold, we have a house full of gadgets - Smart 3D tv, IPads, Nintendo DS, Xbox etc. DS may use 1 of those 'gadgets' for maybe half an hour a day, but he does lots of other stuff like Lego, reading, playing board games. If he has friends round, it's rare they bother with the Xbox for too long. They play hide and seek, play board games and organise their 'football' gang.

In between all that, he plays for a football club and trains twice a week, is also on the chess team and is learning to play the clarinet.

Gadgets have a place, but in moderation like everything else.

[JCDenton]

I really don't think games are so unsociable, when I was young I made many friends through playing games with them. Most kids were only allowed two or three games a year and a single console so in the winter months we'd go to someone else's house who had such and such a game, I was a shy kid but I made a lot of friends that way and this was when playing someone over the Internet seemed like some weird, far off, Star Trek-like fantasy.

People have the right to allow them or not and nobody ever got hurt because they couldn't play a game but I do think they can be very social.

[Sparklingbrook]

We still love the Wii. I like Raymans Ravung Rabbids. Plus you can't beat a run around WiiFitty Island.

[PeaStalks]

Now the wii was not a success for us. It went back in the box and stayed there after a couple of weeks. Too much effort I think. You have to put your can of coke and packet of crisps down to play it.

[Sparklingbrook]

Pea

It will be out again at Christmas for the Sparkling family ski jumping championships, as is tradition.

[howtodrainyourflagon]

My kids don't have a ds or xbox as I don't want them to become obese, vitamin d deficient or lacking in social skills. They can buy gaming kit with their own salaries when they're older but while I can exert influence as a parent I choose to encourage them to spend their time on other activities which are also enjoyable.

This isn't snobbery, it's a parenting choice. Like making my kids brush their hair before school and polish their shoes once a week. I couldn't care less what other families do in this respect.

[Sparklingbrook]

Well said how, I don't care what other families do either. Neither are my DC obese, Vitamin D deficient or lacking in social skills.

[PeaStalks]

Sparklingbrook Oh yes we do have the Christmas Mario Kart races. You can sit down for those and it keeps visiting nieces and nephews quiet while the grown ups drink wine.

[KnackeredMuchly]

My DH was raised on the computer, in so much as you could be for the past 30 years. He's a well rounded, intelligent, happy and outdoorsy individual, with a career in computers.

He could happily spend (and has done) a whole weekend including all night just playing video games. Unfortunately he doesn't get the time any more.

We both look forward to when our DC want to play video games with their Dad. I have no doubt they will have access to lots of technology as they grow. It will be a balance - but all of childhood is. A bookworm needs encouragement to play outside as much as a gamer does.

[RichTeas]

Permanentlyexhausted, no u-turn, your just not very good at reading without inserting your own assumptions.

[iggly2]

DS and DH love screen time. I could not survive without their love of it . I can understand not all children love it, I think it is unfair on blanket bans in some cases (which seems very common with parents during the week at DS school-also the parents do seem quite proud of it ). I just do not think I could manage without it!

[hellyhants]

My 12 year old has a Nintendo DS and a tablet. I have a tablet and my husband has a tablet. We also have a TV with among other things a Sky sports subscription. For me, that is more than enough screen time and a playstation/Xbox/Wii is not necessary. My son runs parkrun, plays cricket, swims and is a scout and a member of an athletics club. And he walks to school (10 minutes each way). But I still think he spends too much time in front of screens.

I wasn't banned from watching TV as a child,but I watched very little, and I didn't resent it. It never really occurs to me to watch TV now unless there is something specific I want to watch (which is about three times a week). Yes I spend quite a lot of time on the internet, but if it wasn't there, I'd be reading a book. And if I have a good book, the internet doesn't get a look-in. I read paper books.

But the bigger problem is allowing kids to play games which are not age-appropriate.

[Siarie]

Not everyone likes playing outside, I liked using computers and went on to study computing at university. I played outside when I was in primary school but once I was a teenager I gamed.

There are only a few years in your life where you can go all out on something. No responsibilities, your time is your own. I look back on those gaming years fondly, they were some of the most fun times of my life. I would be chatting using my voice with five of my close friends from morning until night, while we all played various multiplayer games together.

They've all turned out to be very well rounded, intelligent, career driven people able to socialise with the real world. Shock horror!

[iggly2]

I could see DS wanting to study computing

[Permanentlyexhausted]

And you're not very good at grammar, RichTeas. We all have our own weaknesses, don't we!

I'm not sure why you chose my post to comment on when so many others also pointed out that disallowing computer games does not equate to 'snobbishness'. I guess I just hit a raw nerve.

[forago]

I am a big fan of computer games. I play them. I work with them. I have only let the children play wiiu or 3DS up to now though. My 10y old wants an Xbox one or PS4 for Christmas but I think he is a bit young still and am thinking about making him wait until next year. I really don't see how that is snobby though? being a snob is comparing yourself to other people and i really don't care what other people do - I just think he is a bit young for the much more adult and graphically realistic content on next gen consoles like the xbox one and PS4. I am also worried it will distract him too much from his school work in a year when he is finally engaging well with it.

I will probably cave though if they go below £300 before Christmas :)

[Karasea]

I have a friend with no telly, no computers and her kids are having an amazing childhood. How bizarre to think everyone should do things the same.
We have a wii and it gets used maybe once every two months. My kids are merrily addicted to sport and play, they don't need an electronic device to facilitate either.

[fairylightsintheloft]

maybe what the OP is getting at is that it is particularly screen activities that people limit. I haven't heard /read on here people saying they make their kids stop drawing / painting / reading / playing at the park after 30 mins. All of those are or can be solitary activities just as much as screen activities. DS is 5 and would go from one screen based activity to another if we let him as it is just what he prefers. He goes to school, plays football, does swimming and gym, has an encyclopedic knowledge of Thomas, but can also have a very complex conversation about the various different stages and cars and characters in Mario Kart. Its been good for his number development and his fine motor skills which are lacking. EVERYTHING is moderation is surely the key - but it is screen based stuff which seems to get particular bashing and the evidence as I read it is NOT conclusive at all with regard to moderate use.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

None of mine are obese or vitamin d deficient or whatever the other thing was.
Ds2 has football training 5 nights a week, and plays matches on Sunday and occasionally Friday evening.

There's a lot of jumping to conclusions on this thread- games, for most children, are not played to the exclusivity of everything else.

The majority of children ds2 age do all sorts of indoor and outdoor activities. They also like playing each other on FIFA. It's not one or the other you know?

Ds1- well he's nearly 16. So he is either revising, sleeping, on ps4 or Twitter/Instagram/snapchat. Or eating.oh or at the gym. So again- not obese or vitamin d deficient.

[GratefulHead]

DS is 11 and autistic, until the last year he showed no interest whatsoever in gaming. Now at nearly 12 he has an XBox which he wanted for Xmas last year. He uses it to okay Minecraft and chat to his fiends and I absolutely LOVE listening to him play, and he IS playing.

I don't allow GTA (am worst mother in the world doncha know ) and I vet what he plays. Gaming CAN be fun and creative. DS and his friends combine forces to build amazing structures in Minecraft. They are some distance apart so getting them together for Lego every evening is not an option.

Ironically DS has actually LOST weight since getting the Xbox, part of his autism leads him to gorge on food. The XBox has stopped that and his weight is now normal. Plus he is never still while gaming, he is walking and jumping the whole time.

He plays after school as part of his "down time"m then it's dinner, homework and other activities until bed.

I DO confiscate the controller at bedtime though after finding DS gaming at 23.00hrs one night

I see positives and negatives in gaming. And ere are plenty if age appropriate games out there.