To assume not being permitted to play Xbox/Playstation is pure snobbishness?

[RichTeas]

Computer games are part of normal childhood now, and even give the children shared experiences. Why do some parents deny their children a bit of fun and modern learning. Moderation is the key, but some parents seem to think computer games are the end of civilisation.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Looking out for your child's welfare isn't snobbery and it's ignorant to say so. The only reason I can think of for you to call it that OP is your own insecurity.

You do as you want...justify yourself to no one but don't start insulting those who do differently.

I'm not sitting here saying "XBox is for fools" or anything. The negative feeling is coming from YOU.

[SonorousBip]

My dc do quite a lot of their school-based learning on screens (they are both at schools with good results - and one school got an award for outstanding use of IT). I don't get the bad for your brain thing - its all about using it appropriately.

Just because a lot of indiscriminate use of something is bad, doesn't mean appropriate use of it should not be pursued. (Oooh - I'm thinking wine!)

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

blip doing your school work on a computer is a world away from playing games on an x box or similar. These games, if played enough, alter the brain in a way that's not natural.

[EElisavetaofBelsornia]

My DCs are young but it has never occurred to me that they would need computer games to be 'normal'. This thread reminds me of the ones about whether children eat loads of Haribo and whether posters who say their DCs eat spinach are worthy/snobbish/lying. Why not make your choices about how you bring up your DCs and let other people make different ones?

[SonorousBip]

Squishy - and I'm genuinely not being patronising - I'll check back in when your chidren are 8/9/10.

[Tinkerball]

I don't see the difference between playing age appropriate games as a child and mumsnetting as an adult, both are just different forms of entertainment. My sons are also happy, popular, sociable, active and not overweight - who also gave computer games.

[RichTeas]

But they are engaging with that fake world. Making, building things in a virtual environment. Planning winning strategies. Having fun. They can even speak to each other using headsets. I would say that's a far more creative childhood endeavour that running Ebay shops. Maybe I shouldn't have used the word snobbish, maybe "old-fashioned" would have been better.

[CorporateRockWhore]

How is it snobbish to prefer your kids playing outside to inside? It's just a preference, surely.

And also, neither DH or me are interested in or have ever owned a console, so it's not something our kids see as a normal activity. They're only small still, but neither of them have shown any interest. So nothing to do with being a snob at all really...

[Tinkerball]

Claw I'm interested in your evidence for altering the brain in not a normal way? Its not that I don't believe you, just wonder what you are basing it on? My eldest DS is 21 and grew up playing them (still does) but had an active social life, good job, girlfriend etc ....just can't see how his brain "isn't normal".

[effinandjeffin]

It's not snobbishness. I wish I had never allowed my dcs an Xbox. If it was up to my son, he would be on it from the minute he woke up til he went to bed. He is literally obsessed with it. Therefore he is limited to weekends only, and only for a couple of hours. When he is not allowed on, he will play with his Lego or go out with his friends but only because he can't be on the Xbox.

I really wish I had never heard the words Xbox and minecraft

[SonorousBip]

Hmm, I'm not sure you can draw the line in technical terms between good games and bad games. Interestingly we went to Dd's parents evening last week (she is 10) and her teacher showed us a few apps to help with mental maths. They are all games based, lots of flashing lights etc. I'd kind of like to think she does as much of these as possible . Have to say they were excellent - we all sat on the sofa and got all competitive with each other and had great fun: that would never happen with her maths workbook.

Not sure I agree with the haribo analogy - haribo is pure sugar and does not have any redeeming features I think (unless you are running a marathon or similar).

(These things weren't around when my dc were very small and I actually agree that I would be quite careful re what was appropriate for under 5's).

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Rich the operative word is VIRTUAL. It's not real. The graphics affect their brains in a way that is not good.

So what if they CAN speak on headsets. Their eyes are trained on a small screen with repetitive graphics on it which aren't ever going to help them in a natural fashion.

As for creative endeavors...designing shop layouts online, choosing photos for blogs, writing good blog posts and more importantly learning how to make money through the internet is going to arm children MUCH better for their future than playing whatever game and chatting to their mates through a headset.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Tinker

link that's one article of many you can find online.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

I should add...my DC love being online, they love the television too and DD1 who is 10 adores the world of the internet...as do I....but she's using it to learn about creativity, to find writing competitions and to Skype her friends.

She's learning about ecommerce and social media and soon she's going to learn how to code so she can make her own websites.

That's my idea of how screen time can be used for fun and for education too.

[Permanentlyexhausted]

Why do you feel so threatened by other people's choices, OP? I would suggest that you're actually slightly uncomfortable/worried about the amount of screen time you allow your own children so thus feel the need to denigrate those who allow their own children less/no time. That is the real reason for calling them snobbish and old-fashioned. To try to persuade yourself that you are 'normal' and 'up-to-date' and thus doing everything properly.

Since it will make not a blind bit of difference to you whether other children play electronic games or not, stop worrying about it.

For the record, we have a Wii. The children have maybe played on it once since the summer holidays. They're KS2 age. Just not that bothered, although the older one does like to play games on his tablet every few days.

[Whyamihere]

Children can be uninterested in games, we have an xbox and dd has a laptop, she's 10 and the only thing she uses the xbox for is the occasional game of olympic sports and that's only because she's up doing something. She saved up and bought her own i-pad, I do not have to restrict usage on this because she does it herself, usually half hour is the most she plays before she starts playing with her teddies or reading. It may change as she gets older but I doubt it.

[bookbag40]

I think that in excess they are very bad for children. They are addictive and children end up entering a "fake" world. Why on earth interact with a fake world when there is a whole real world out there.

I think they are particularly concerning for teenagers who may already be struggling socially. They just allow them to retreat further and further into themselves and away from society. The games are often violent too and it is concerning how many young children play games over their age limit. It does feel fairly moronic to me and a bit sad. Sitting there zapping zombies when you could be outside, reading a book, talking to people.

And that's not to mention the dangers of being groomed online or online bullying as some of the games are interactive with other people - you have no idea who they are!

I don't really understand the view that children somehow have to use computers as they are part of "modern childhood". Plenty of time for computers when they are adults and lets face it an ipad or word/powerpoint are hardly difficult to use.

Humanity managed for over 6000 years without them so I'm sure my kids can manage for a few years longer!

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

9 yo has

a wii (gift from grandparents)
a DS (gift from godmother)
a kindle
an ipod
an iPad mini (gift from godfather).
a phone with games, no sim (old one)

She had tons of games for the wii, she hasn't played with it in at least 18 months, same with the DS. She occasionally uses the kindle but prefers real books. She's played minecraft on the ipad for about 2 hours in the last year and she watches some stuff on youtube, 90% of the time for her music practise, we occasionally use it to look up stuff for homework/general interest. She hasn't used the ipod in over 2 years. She doesn't watch TV either. She isn't interested. Why do people like you find that so impossible to believe & accept?

[WookieCookiee]

Mine do both, now it's cold, getting dark the Xbox comes out a bit more.
Playing outside and playing Xbox or whatever aren't mutually exclusive!
They play a couple of games of FIFA (or set a time limit on minecraft) and don't game online with other people as they're only 7 & 9.

I am more "snobby" about what they watch on TV and I am at people who let their 9 year olds watch "I'm Celebrity..." and "Gogglebox". One of DS1s friends has unfettered and unfiltered access to Youtube - directly leading to the question "Mum, what does porking mean?"

Much things to be doing than Xbox!

[primarynoodle]

if you think its snobbish to not allow them games consoles because you want them to do other things...

surely its snobbish to enforce games consoles on your children because you think they should be playing on them?

I think youve confuses snobbery with 'bringing up your children according to your morals and values'

[FriendlyLadybird]

I don't mind my DCs playing games on the computer or their tablets, but it never occurred to me or DH to buy any sort of games console -- and neither child has ever asked.

Good thing too, as I'd probably refuse on the grounds of cost.

[dottytablecloth]

Why does it bother you? As long as your children are happy, healthy and well rounded, what does it matter?

[TheBiggestDinosaur]

Well, it's expensive to buy consoles and games and things.

And my children (3 and 7) actually aren't remotely interested. DDs have some apps on my tablet. They can ask to use it whenever they want. DD2 probably asks less than once a month, and spends about 15 minutes before deciding she's had enough. DD1 pretty much never asks. It is even shunned on long journeys. We had a 5 hour flight in the summer and neither of them touched it once.

My brother has an X-Box, he often tries to persuade my DC to have a go, and gets "no thank you". Or they will politely hold the controller for about 90 seconds and then hand it back.

I must admit, I am glad they don't like them - does that make me snobby? Maybe, or maybe they just take after me and aren't interested. DH is also not that bothered.

[wobblyweebles]

My kids won't be getting consoles this Christmas, just like they didn't the last 7 Christmases. They seem to be coping with their abnormal childhood, the poor dears.

[ivykaty44]

OP my dd brought herself the games etc - she played with them for a few weeks (about 3-4 weeks) and then it lay unused for months - the only game that was played for three xmas on the trot was a singing game. Last christmas she sold it as she wanted the money to put towards a phone.

Some children and teens are just not interested enough and if that means we are snobs so be it