To assume not being permitted to play Xbox/Playstation is pure snobbishness?

[RichTeas]

Computer games are part of normal childhood now, and even give the children shared experiences. Why do some parents deny their children a bit of fun and modern learning. Moderation is the key, but some parents seem to think computer games are the end of civilisation.

My DDs were never interested in these things. They had cousins who had them and never wanted to play them if they visited. They'd much rather be doing other things.

OP you sound a bit naive if you really believe all children would like these games. Don't you realise that we are all different?

why do you care? Why does it bother you?

I am not asking that in a nasty way I genuinely mean it. I am curious as to what is behind your post. Are you affected by it? Are you losing out in any way because some other parents have made a choice for their children that you don't agree with? Do you think it is abusive for children to not play video games? Do you feel that you are being judged by people in your life because maybe you do let yours?

My kids have got an xbox, ps3, wii, 3ds xl, gameboy and a very old sega thing that I think is still in the back of a cupboard somewhere. In case you thought I was asking because I am one who does not let my kids have games, I am not. They do.

I don't give a rat's arse who thinks what about anything and I wonder why you do. Has someone in rl said something horrible to you about your own choice?

Richteas Issues of screen-time and issues of snobbery are two entirely different things, Permanentlyexhusated.

So you've done a complete u-turn since starting your thread?

Vital - the OP is raising this issue out of the goodness of her heart. This was her reply to me when I asked that question:

And if we all stopped worrying about things that "didn't make a blind bit of difference" to us, Mumsnet would shut down tomorrow.

There are lots of households who don't have an X-box etc. Are you, OP, suggesting every parent should get one?

My DH has every console under the sun but I don't want my now three year old playing them and I hope he doesn't spend hours as an adult playing them like my DH.

Claw in the article you linked to it includes the words "too much" not just the fact computer games can alter the brain. It is one persons opinion and the actual research it mentions says computer games and too much surfing the Internet. That's why I don't think there is any difference between my kids playing their x box and being on Mumsnet. Of which you are on to.

My 6 year old is not the least bit interested even though he has access to a Wii, an xbox, games on his Hudl and a DS. He thinks it's boring. He spends his time doing his big drawings. All his friends seem to be into Minecraft already but he's not. My neice is 9 and she's not into them at all but her 13 year old brother is mad about them and always has been.
The idea that kids aren't into them because their parents are computer snobs is laughable.

They are addictive- I know because I used to like them and DH still does to some extent. I see the amount of trouble that causes my nephew and his friends and I think thank god I don't have to deal with that yet.

I am rubbish at FIFA Precious. No buttons I use on the controller relate to what's going on on the screen.

DS2 spends ages giving the players different kits and hairstyles.

Pea yes exactly. Socialising online! Who would have thought?

I am totally uninterested in computer games, always have been and always will. I totally completely believe that there are children out there who have no interest in them; personally I'd rather have a smear test than play a computer game.

I am, however, married to a keen gaming fan (games of both the computer and board nature!) and the mother of three boys. My eldest (10) is a big minecraft fan: he is allowed to play it at weekends, once homework is done, for a set period of time. This is also the case with any Nintendo type games, or the iPad. Same rules apply to 5yo DS2 who is allowed the occasional go at angry birds on the iPad at weekends. We do have a playstation but it's barely used other than for the playing of the odd DVD.

It's like anything. Do it in moderation and as part of an otherwise active healthy lifestyle, and it's fine. Allow unfettered access for hours on end and you've potentially - depending on the individual DC - got a problem. sparklingbrook has it about right, I think-it's all about balance.

I don't think it's a snobbery thing. But I do hate the attitudes of some people who (like some on this thread) get all holier than thou about it. I suspect that is what the OP is getting at really. That by not having computer games they, and their DC, are somehow 'superior'.

DH and DS1 might love a gaming session. But these don't seem to prevent DH holding down a senior management job, or stop him being a supportive husband and a lovely involved dad. In the same way ds1 seems to manage a raft of healthy participative after school activities and sports, as well as enjoying minecraft...gaming and real life don't have to be mutually exclusive.

Well, ds (7, nearly 8) is a little sod after he's been on the computer. He is limited to two hours screen time at the weekend. If I didn't limit him, it would be the ONLY thing he would do. He thinks about Minecraft all the time as it is. I find his attention span and temper are poor after a session playing on computer games, so we now have a strict limit and he has to earn stickers to get even that. DD, 6, couldn't give a monkeys abot any of it.

Horses for courses. As a tecaher though, I will say that there are far, far more knackered KS2 kids in my class than there used to be, simply because they've got consoles / tablets and games in their bedrooms. They stay up late playing them, and ones like Black Ops are simply not suitable.

An interesting point came up in my class when we were discussing writing, and why some students have a block against it, and at least half the class agreed with the fact that writing is hard for them because you can't just wipe it, change it and start again without mess. I did find that disconcerting.

Tinker how much is too much though? I'd be willing to bet that a large proportion of DC with these games spend too much time on them.

The people who claim "Oh he's only allowed half an hour a day" are in the main embroidering the truth of the matter imo.

well then, Permanentlyexhausted, she's nicer than me because I don't give a stuff what any of your kids are doing as long as you're loving them, feeding them, clothing them, not hurting them, and making sure they're not irritating me

Sorry I don't believe the line that "my kids are not interested"

Believe what you like. I don't have any snobbery regarding Xbox/ Playstation/whatever, which to me are not the same thing as computer games. DS1 never showed any interest in owning any kind of games console, even when he could have bought his own. His younger brother compiles long gift wishlists for birthdays and Christmas, none of which ever suggest game consoles. Frankly I find it annoying that I should be expected to fork out for some expensive piece of gadgetry that nobody in my house actually wants, just so that some twat doesn't assume I am up myself.

DH has an X Box. I nicknamed it the 'no seX Box' during a period when he stayed up late trying to finish levels. These days he's only really interested in playing Lego batman or whatever when there is nothing on TV. He doesn't have any of the violent games, but in an effort to get dd1 interested, he bought a kinnect thingy, which sits gathering dust, along with some family friendly games.

DD1 (8) is not remotely interested in the thing. She gets bored and would rather go off and read. The two year old gets frustrated when she can't do it. There is a tablet somewhere in the house - dd1 can't find it but has made very little effort to search.
We're not snobbish, but it does help that the eldest has friends next door, we live next to the village park/playground and mil has fields and dogs to walk.

Oh I just don't get all the angst To Be Honest.

Ds1 &2 have an Xbox and a ps4.
Tonight, ds1 (15) will come home from school at 4, do an hours revision, play FIFA for an hour, ride his bike to football training, train for 90 mins, ride home, eat dinner, maybe play another game for half an hour or piss about on Twitter/snapchat/Instagram and go to bed.
Ds2 has football training every weeknight and matches on Sunday. He might play a little bit with ds1 a couple of times a week, and more on Saturday.

Who does it affect apart from me?

Look, we all do different things. I don't limit screen times, tv/computer/iPad/whatever. But it doesn't mean I think people who do are wrong- they are just different

Preciousbane I was also a fan of Llamas and Mutant Camels!
Some of the opinions in hear are a bit Mary Whitehouse! Consoles only have nasty games which warp your children?! I grew up with Nintendos and Playstations and played loads of creative games and also went outside all the time. I would rather spend my time on video games than watching tv. It's not always possible to be out all hours in winter!

It really makes me sad that computer/video games have become a negative thing for some. Having grown up on them by no choice of my parents they can be really social and you can learn to work as a team while having a great time. Strategy, teamwork, problem solving, knowledge all really good things that can be practised with games.

Yes you can get these from other activities but we're living in an increasingly technological world. By holding children back from age appropriate gaming I don't think you will be doing them any favours. I know there will be plenty who disagree with that statement.

Whoever is claiming gaming is bad for developing brains, well please show your evidence for that.

Claw, I'm not sure how you define too much. My 12 year old monitors himself now, he lives his x box (which is on his room) but isn't obsessed by it and reads (real) books a lot to. So I trust him. My 6 year old plays the Playstation which is in the living room and I do monitor that - otherwise we would have no TV at weekends!

Mine play things like Club Penguin online and meet their friends there. They play cbeebies or similar computer games at school sometimes as well. If they've finished their work, they're allowed to. We do have a wii which gets used now and again.

I think they can be addictive for some. But if you limit time on them, they're fine. I quite like some of the puzzle solving ones.

One of mine is ten now. They'd feel quite left out if they didn't play any as the majority of their friends are playing these games now. It's generally thinks like Minecraft, Club Penguin, Lego games, Moshi Monsters, Mario.

My grandsons are 8 and 5. The younger one owns no devices but is allowed to play some games on the family tablet. The 8 year old has had a ds for about 18 months and he saved up to buy himself a tablet. Their screen time is limited to a maximum of 30 minutes on a school day and 45 minutes at weekends. Here is a list of the other family things they do, all four of them, together or one or other boy:
Swimming
Cycling all of them long bike rides
Walking hill and woodland walks as a family
Trips to theatre or cinema
Model making
Board games
Cubs
Football club
Sports club
Guitar lessons
General active play outside with balls, rackets, spacehoppers, scooters, tree house, dens and tents
Reading and drawing
Honestly it would be such a waste of a childhood to increase screen time at the expense of the wonderful experiences they are having.

Tinker I would say 2 hours and above is way too much. I think half an hour a day is sufficient but I'm not an expert.