...to not buy Christmas presents on behalf of family this year

[Stonechat]

Every year I end get asked to buy presents on behalf of close relatives for the dc. It's stressful coming up with extra presents and they don't always pay us back. It also feels a bit dishonest to pretend that the presents are from family when I've done it all. They do love our kids and want to give them something at Christmas, but if I didn't do it, some would probably not get around to doing it themselves.

I think it would be reasonable to say that I'm not able to shop for everyone this year. BUT would it be reasonable to do this to the kids? I wouldn't tolerate them expecting big gifts, but they will definitely be hurt and confused if many of their relatives completely forget them in contrast to other years. Honestly, a pack of chocolate buttons in a card would be appreciated. Or should I just suck it up and continue as usual? Wish I'd never started with the shopping on behalf of others.

I would say nothing, as in they want nothing not that I wouldn't reply. And I brought them up to say the same if anyone asks. Except me, they have no qualms telling me lol

Sorry I find this really rude of your relatives. I would never get someone to do my shopping for me. If an able bodied relative asked me to buy and wrap a present for my kidsI'd just say 'let's not do presents this year'. Kids might be disappointed but that's life- some people don't send presents for Christmas, I wouldn't as a mum feel guilty about not doing other peoples shopping. Another rant: I bet these relatives only ask you because you're a woman, I find present work is never a job that men
Do once they're married. Same as birthday cards.

Also I think it's fine to say something
Your kids want from Argos/ amazon if asked. People want to know so that their present is a hit. As long as
You pitch the budget right.

Unless they are elderly or otherwise not mobile that takes the piss.
My 94 year old Nan gives my Mum money to buy for the great grandchildren.
Just say "sure, send me the £ and I'll buy for you". Otherwise sod them.

Is it because postage is so expensive?

My dad couldn't figure out seting up gift addresses for Amazon, so he asked me to order the book he wanted to give to DD rather than have it delivered to him and then post it.

With the amazon lists, if someone buys it dos it disappear? I have sent them to mum and dad but worry about them buying the same thing!

Amazon wishlist! Why didn't I think of that? Thank you! Thanks also for the support and suggestions. I have 3 dc aged under 10 and don't mind shopping on behalf of the gps (who gets stressed about it). But really I think that everyone else is able to do their own shopping, they just prefer me to do it. I like the suggestion to stop buying on behalf of those who didn't give me the money back last year (which frankly isn't affordable for us) and saying that next year I'll set up an Amazon wish list if they do want to give the kids something. Need to work on the kids' expectations too, so that they won't be hurt if close relatives forget. Thank you!

I'm astonished people ask for and expect gifts for their children. I would never say to someone "go and buy thus for x, page xxx in Argos catalogue" how mercenary

If I'm asked to get the gift, I'm usually asked "what shall I get costing £XX as a present costing about that for the boys, please?" so then I suggest things they want that I haven't got yet for about that budget. Then they tell me which ones they want to get, and I say "Argos/toysrus/tesco/Amazon/lotsofonlineplaces have it" and then they tell me they want me to get it...

so no, I don't think it's rude to tell them/suggest in reply to a direct question. I think it's rude of them to expect me to do all the work for them.

I do have mobility issues, it's not exactly easy for me either except online.

I do this for my Granny, as she is 90, can't get to the shops, and always gives me money for them.

People who can get to the shops / have internet I used to, but not any more, as my children are a bit older if someone gives money for a gift I just pass the money on.

If anyone asked me to buy something I would just say there is nothing they need. Then I'd they really want to they can choose themselves but they really don't need to