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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy my childrens' Christmas card designs because they're rubbish?

66 replies

jenster1976 · 19/11/2014 20:28

Honestly, they are normally really good at drawing and do me lovely pictures, but these are misspelt, scribbled in places and messy. I was really looking forward to getting them, this is the first year the school has done this fundraiser - I've seen loads of friends and families with them, always cute, but my kids are, to be frank, embarrassing! Also, I want to tell them, but is that just cruel? They're 7 and 5.

OP posts:
DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 19/11/2014 20:36

Yanbu to not buy them, but I wouldn't let them know it was because I thought they weren't up to scratch, personally.

ashtrayheart · 19/11/2014 20:38

I just don't do them in the first place, we get given the blank templates for them to draw on (or not) I'm not paying £5 for 10 cards!

Selinasupreme · 19/11/2014 20:41

Don't tell them their drawings are rubbish. I think YABU.

Bartlebee · 19/11/2014 20:41

Mine are a bit older, but would always do endearingly rubbish Christmas cards for me to buy.

Then I'd get my friends' children's' little works of art!

Discopanda · 19/11/2014 20:42

YANBU that's a lot of money, even for charity cards!

Leeds2 · 19/11/2014 20:44

I wouldn't buy them, but I wouldn't tell them that is was because their cards weren't good enough.

bodhranbae · 19/11/2014 20:47

You want to tell very young children that their pictures are shit? Confused
Nice.

TheAlias · 19/11/2014 20:47

I think there are lots of reasons not to buy them if you don't want to but considering your DCs work to be "embarrassing" is really sad.

Original poster
jenster1976 · 19/11/2014 20:54

Ok, I'm clearly mean and won't tell them, but they're going to ask me why...I'm not convinced that my 7 year old couldn't cope with me telling her she should be able to spell Christmas. I know she can, I just think she couldn't be arsed...

OP posts:
CrapBag · 19/11/2014 20:54

YABU. They are young ffs. And no you cant tell them you think their work is crap.

And I don't think 50p a card is a lot of money, especially when it is going towards something. I am paying £1 a card for DDs from nursery.

I love buying my children's work like this because DS would be gutted if I didn't, plus he does put a lot of effort into it. I like to keep it for when they are older and their GPs like receiving them.

TheAlias · 19/11/2014 20:56

I'd agree with you CrapBag but the schools only actually receive a small % of that £1/50p

IdkickJilliansass · 19/11/2014 20:56

I kept the originals but didnt buy the cards as they are way overpriced, I used to before I became poorGrin

EveDallasRetd · 19/11/2014 21:00

Do you have the option for gift tags instead? That's what I'm doing (and for the same reasons as you - I too am an awful parent). I've told DD that I'd already ordered the Rescue charity ones we always buy though, so she doesn't know.

Another friend has refused to buy her DD's cards, but told her straight that it was because she'd not taken any care with them, and because she was embarassed that her 9 year old spelled Christmas wrong. She is pretty blunt with her kids though - they are used to it.

Original poster
jenster1976 · 19/11/2014 21:01

It's not the money, but I wouldn't really want to give them to anyone as they are in way representative of what my children are capable of, honestly they're normally mini Picassos who can spell! I sound like a tiger mother don't I, this is not me normally!

OP posts:
CrapBag · 19/11/2014 21:11

I do think you are a little hung up on the fact that they aren't 'perfect'. Will GPs etc really care?

My DS made a card for his friend a while ago, I advised him on where to draw what he was drawing but he didn't listen and bunched it altogether so you could barely see it. I went on explained that he hadn't listened and you couldn't see what he had drawn. He was devastated and refused to give his friend the card (although I did convince him in the end).

I have never felt so bad. I was disgusted with myself. Apologised profusely but he was still so upset. I learnt that is was MY problem with things having to be good and perfect and I will never make that mistake again. At the time he said he would never make a card again but hopefully he has forgotten as he is going loads of drawing lately.

I always praise his work and recognise the effort. Its possible the spelling is an unfortunate mistake rather than your DD not being bothered.

SaucyJack · 19/11/2014 21:15

YABU not to buy them because you think they're crap and you can't use them to show- off the the recipients.

YANBU not to buy them generally tho. They are eye-wateringly expensive and raise very very little for the school.

Not to mention I think the guilt trip is despicable.

shimmeringinthesun · 19/11/2014 21:18

Just slightly off topic here but years and years ago I worked in a school where, one day the photographer came to take all the children's photographs.
One particular boy in my class had his taken with his little brother, and asked everyday when they would arrive. When the finally did he raced home to show his mum.
The following day he came into class, head down, wobbly lipped. He dropped the photos back on the desk and muttered 'me mam don't want 'em' . He looked so unhappy and dejected.

I've never forgotten that, and probably neither has he.

Be proud of your DC's op, they did the best they could do at that moment, and probably enjoyed it immensely. don't destroy those memories, cherish them.

I

BarbarianMum · 19/11/2014 21:22

YANBU

I would (and do) buy my dcs' offerings, regardless of quality, if they represent a good effort on their part. If they just dash something off in 5 minutes l refuse to pay for it and tell them why "Its not really your best work, is it?" type response. Then offer them to draw a new card for granny.

Dawndonnaagain · 19/11/2014 21:24

I had a mother quick to criticise. Nothing I did was ever as good as anything she did. She never turned up to a sportsday, nativity etc. She did school concerts when I was older to bask in the reflected glory (I could/can sing). She turned up to my graduation, but only because John Ogden was playing. She took photos but I later found out there was no film in the camera. I don't speak to her now. Neither do three out of my four siblings. Don't tell them they're rubbish, please. Just buy a pack and put them away for when they're older.

drbonnieblossman · 19/11/2014 21:27

Buy them - tell your dc it's the first and last time.

So what if they aren't to the usual Picasso standard. Your children did them. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future to express your disappointment when they show you up. This really really isn't one of them.

Starlightbright1 · 19/11/2014 21:31

The cards I use to send to special Family so while not cheap as everyday cards for people that would have named cards not so.

I also find it a bit shocking and sad you want to tell them there pictures are crap. Poor kids

lemisscared · 19/11/2014 21:31

You sound a lot like my mother, nothing was ever good enough. It totally destroyed my self esteem.

waithorse · 19/11/2014 21:32

YABU. I buy everything. I couldn't knock my dc"s confidence by telling them there work is rubbish.

Starlightbright1 · 19/11/2014 21:34

Can I also add in my son's school they have spent hours and hours over these cards ... Can you imagine been told your hours of work are crap

OutragedFromLeeds · 19/11/2014 21:34

YANBU to not buy them. They're overpriced and no-one appreciates them except maybe Grandparents.

YABVVVU to tell a 5 year old 'I was really looking forward to this, but now I'm not going to buy it because your scruffy drawing is an embarrassment'. I can't believe you'd even consider telling them!