to be coming down pretty hard on my ds age 4.about how he treats a girl in his class?

[sangfreude]

I think I might be but I just don't know.

Ds started reception this Sept and found settling in hard- especially making friends. He now has a couple of friends and I would say from seeing how all the kids behave in his class they are not very kind- ds complains that they tease him.

He has started telling me things like - 'joey called Monica a poo poo' and then laughing in what I can only describe as pretty unkind. I said well would you like that? Would you find it funny? etc.

I've also been present on about three occasions when he has totally blanked this little girl- today she was waving to him good bye abs he frowned and looked the other way, sucking his cheeks in and making a horrible face. I was shocked and told him off about how unkind that was and how I would speak to his teacher if it carried on.

Am I being pfb and a bit of a prat or is this quite like bullying and I am making it clear its absolutely not on? Aibu and wwyd?

Don't fret. It is normal to an extent. When he's rude about saying goodbye, just prompt him "Say goodbye now DS" but don't focus on this too much. At 4 they're so confused about friends and all that....social skills are like learning to read and write!

Yes good point.... It's just that it's this same little girl each time, it seems like he's picking on her! But he is pretty rubbish with hellos and goodbyes on general

Is "Monica" the girl he ignores?

If so, you feel he's ignoring her and laughing at unkind things others have said?

If so I'd ask him why he seems to act like this towards her. And then take it form there.

Kids are little sociopaths until you teach them otherwise.

A girl in my brother's reception told him for no particular reason "I don't like you. Go away." The teacher talked to her, gave them some toys to play with, and they were friends again.

I think at this age, children are pushing a button to see what it does to figure out what's acceptable and what's not. I wouldn't put it down to bullying this young.

I would remind him of manners. You wave to acquaintances and acknowledge people's presences. It's crucial skill to be able to get along and be cordial with people you don't like. He'll be doing it the rest of his life. So I'd think of it that way when guiding him.

I don't know about him picking on her, at 4 they are pretty self centred and if he doesn't like her he won't see the point in being polite for the sake of it. He probably doesn't mean to be unkind, just doesn't know that what he's doing is unkind.

I would just reiterate that if someone says goodbye you should reply. And that it is unkind to call someone a poo poo.

so I Should take a bit of a chill pill basically... Not talk to her mum?

My son calls everyone something poo related or bum related.

The person he doesnt like changes daily.

Is the teacher aware? Just in case the little girl is having a really hard time.

DD, who is three, comes home with all manner of long-winded stories about who said who about whom and who is on the outs and who is friends right now. Very clear and easy rules about behaviour and manners should cover most things.

I might mention it to the teacher tbh. The little girlseems kind of rejected in the class