To think that its not difficult to be on time !

[Humansatnav]

Up early to drop dh off at 5:45 for work . He starts work at 6, but as his company have a ' no lone worker' policy he meets a colleague by 5:50 every morning, they have a chat & open up.
Except on a Wednesday, the colleague he works with that day is ALWAYS late.
So as its cold, dark and damp this morning and I'm fond of dh I wait so he cam stay in the car.
Wednesday man strolls up at 6:15 , no apology, or attempt.
Dh asked why he was late this time, and Wednesday colleague just muttered something about not liking winter mornings.
AIBU to think that its rude to constantly be late and leave people waiting for you ?

YANBU. Lateness is disrespectful and insulting.

The reason he gave his line manager is that he doesn't like dark mornings. Fucking hell. I used to work in retail and would have been out on my ear if I'd been late and given this as a 'reason'. Any of us would.

I think your DH should demand an apology from his colleague every time he's late. Have it out with him. He sounds very thick-skinned and inconsiderate, so I don't think trying to have a reasonable chat would work. He needs things spelled out to him.

ie DH 'You're late.'
Colleague 'Yeah, I don't like dark mornings.'
DH 'You're late. You've inconvenienced me. You need to apologise and be on time in future.'

I'd also speak to the line manager again and say the lateness is persisting.

They should give your dh the keys instead.

Your husband has shown how reliable he is, and the other guy has shown how unreliable he is.

Being late and keeping people waiting is just rude. No excuses.

If you can't be on time arrange to meet later or in this case find another job.

It amuses me that a couple of the consistent latebodies in this thread think that people who are on time think that they're superior and put them under pressure. NO we're just considerate and thoughtful....if we don't think we can make it for 12pm for example, we'd agree to meet you at 12.30pm instead rather than keep you waiting getting bored and annoyed!! Whereas you would agree 12pm and just keep the rest of us waiting until you eventually got there, with no real care about your utter rudeness.

For the OP, if I was your DP, I would text a manager at 6am every time to say "I'm here on time and (YET AGAIN) so and so is bit here to open up". They'd soon get fed up and sort this idiot out. Good luck!

*NOT not BIT

Yep, I agree with Em. I'd be passing the inconvenience on - either by texting the manager at 6:00 on the dot, or by inconveniencing the colleague somehow. I'd be tempted to set the alarm myself for 4am one morning in order to repeatedly text him then to ensure he's awake.

If you can't be on time,then you have no business arranging things at particular times, or leaving people waiting outside in unpleasant conditions.

If I'm meeting a friend in a restaurant or coffee shop i don't mind if they're 10 or so minutes late, I'm sitting down, warm and cosy, perusing the menu. If they're an hour late I'd be mega pissed off and would probably have walked out after buying just 1 drink or a quick lunch.

Leaving someone standing outside before 6 am in this weather is beyond rude, it's utterly obnoxious.

Those 'friends' that can never be anywhere on time are left for different catch ups. They can come to mine or i go to theirs, so that I can get on with my day while waiting. I refuse to meet them for time specific things. I have only just started catching up regularly with a friend that I had pretty much given up on as she's more reliable now her DC are both at school - 1 too many times of being cancelled at the (literal) last minute, when I had just paid to enter the soft play area, or being sat for an hour bored out of my skull before she deigned to show up - led me to distancing myself. Wasn't worth the angst.

It amuses me that a couple of the consistent latebodies in this thread think that people who are on time think that they're superior and put them under pressure. NO we're just considerate and thoughtful....if we don't think we can make it for 12pm for example, we'd agree to meet you at 12.30pm instead rather than keep you waiting getting bored and annoyed!! Whereas you would agree 12pm and just keep the rest of us waiting until you eventually got there, with no real care about your utter rudeness.

this!!!! I doesn't matter what responsibilities you have and how much pressure you are under, if you agree to be somewhere at a certain time be there! or at the very least text the other person that you will be late so that they can slow down/grab a coffee/leave later etc

I'm never late. Lateness is so rude. It really is letting others know that you think your time is much more important. I had to ditch someone when I as at uni as we would lift share, one week she'd drive and the next week I drove, but every day she was late. and then moan and curse on the M4 that we were going to be late. She wasn't late for any other reason than she just didn't manage her time well. refused to get up an extra half hour earlier so that she could blow dry her hair and put her make up on and leave on time. Even if she was already late when she woke up she would still shower wash her hair, have a long breakfast (eggs and toast instead of cereal or even grabbing fruit/cereal bar on the way out of the door) a couple of outfit changes and then hair make up, whereas I got up over an hour earlier, did all of that and dressed 2 dc and got them to childcare/school and still arrived at her house on time.

Mrsstarlord
I'm laid back about time because being any other way would drive me to a breakdown and having someone putting pressure on about time is them feeling that their priorities and lives are more important than mine

But by being late you are actually saying that your priorities and life is more important than theirs...

I do genuinely believe people are wired differently :) Some really really struggle to be on time despite trying quite hard. I am always really happy to find soneone worse than me - although I am so much better since having DS. I just usually allow lots more time than I think I need so that I am early. His Dad is very last minute and this now drives me nuts! I don't want DS to feel upset about being late you see, or to learn it is ok to be late (other than occassionally when you should appologise).

I also try harder not to be late where it affects someone else such as in the circumstances you describe so YANBU. When it is just about me I am still a bit crap though so much better than I used to be.

YANBU. I can't stand people being late! I have an 11 month old and no car and I'm always on time. My friend drives everywhere and has no kids and is always 20 minutes late Grrrrrr.

Onlylovers - you surely don't feel you can DEMAND an apology from a colleague. What is the OPs DH supposed to do if he refuses? Seems he asked why the guy was late so hopefully made the point. You don't know what is going on in peoples lives. I mean, fucking hell that is a prime example of 'on time' people feeling superior.

It's rude. Can't bear persistent lateness.

Yanbu. I detest lateness and the sometimes lame excuses that are given for it. I would much rather be very early getting somewhere than be 10 minutes late or longer. It's just bloody rude.

Purple, the colleague here is behaving so consistently disrespectfully that I would want to demand an apology, yeah. I'd start off wanting to be polite and nice and understanding, but this kind of piss-taking would get to me eventually and I'd stop feeling any need to be nice any more.

And I don't think it's feeling 'superior' to not enjoy repeatedly being left to stand outside in the cold and rain because someone else doesn't like winter mornings. But if it in, then I'll happily be accused of feeling superior.

I hate it when people are consistently late for things. Its one thing when its a one off when they text/call to let you know but all the time is plain rude.

My SIL is like it and we now tell her a time anything up to an hour earlier than when we actually need to meet in an effort to be on time. She can't blame the DC either as she has been like it all her life.

I'm normally early or on time. Its not superior its good manners and appreciation that we all have busy lives where one thing running late will trash the rest of the day.

I think he could say to the colleague it's unfair of you to be late, it's selfish and unfair on me.

SIL and BIL are always late. We think it's incredibly rude and selfish so we have taken to leaving without them where appropriate, if we are to pick them up we arrive dead on the time and as they are never ready it's "right five minutes and we are leaving." We have put up with it for long enough so we are cut throat about it now. They act like children.

Someone who is late occasionally you don't mind so much, if a one off happens - train is delayed/car breaks down/pipe bursts (that happened to me and I still wasn't late!) When it becomes a regular occurrence it's just downright rude. There is no excuse for persistent lateness. Absolutely none.

A friend at Uni was the worst for this, we would tell her we were going out at 8 just so she'd be ready for 9, which was the time we planned on going out at all along. She just did not give a shit about making people late. We'd plan to go for dinner at 7 for example, we'd arrive at her halls at 7 and she'd not even have had a shower. It was so annoying and rude.

!!!But by being late you are actually saying that your priorities and life is more important than theirs...!!!!!!

this - i dont care if you are 'laid back about it' - your laid back about it says you dont give a shit about it, you dont give a shit about me, and about making me wait - because my time is not as important as yours

It's also disrespectful to arrive late for the start of a meeting.

If it's scheduled to start at 9am, you should be looking to arrive at between 10 to and 5 to with pens, notepad, whatever else you need, so that the meeting can start on time.

YANBU, being late shows utter disregard to the other person, its basically saying your time isnt as importnat as mine.

Why don't they just text each other if one is running late? And agree to start later on a Wednesday? This is what I would do.
I am usually on time and would not be happy to hang around unnecessarily so early in the morning so I would def text this colleague to check his eta.
I am rubbish at getting up in the mornings but I do it although I hate it esp during winter.
Clearly this guy finds it difficult to get up so early once a week as it is not his normal routine unlike your DH. I would probably also be late in all fairness as would a lot of people.
It is very strange that your DH is not allowed in the workplace on his own, I have never ever heard this rule.

DH cant " agree to start late ", its an offocial start time , not discressionary.

DH spoke to boss again this morning and has been told that management are aware and that it is being addressed.

.
Its srill bloody rude though to expect everyone to wait for you to show up!

• excuse the typos, fat fingers.