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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be bereft after a bollocking from my dentist?

167 replies

AddToBasket · 18/11/2014 22:19

My dentist treated me like someone who rinses with Irn Bru every night before bed. Apparently, I have a 'really neglected mouth'.

"I look in your mouth and it's screaming sugar. Really, you should never have let it get this bad. Do you have a lot of fizzy drinks?"

Whattttt?!!! Meeee?!! I brush twice a day! I am middle class ffs. My children are dressed in Boden and I am having steamed vegetables for supper. No, I don't have a lot of fizzy drinks.

"I can fit you in for root canal surgery first thing tomorrow, and we'll deal with the most urgent issues then." Um, OK, guess so.

So now I feel like the Fairytale of New York guy. But with toothache. Does tonic water count as a fizzy drink?

OP posts:
OhGood · 19/11/2014 11:18

I have never had a filling but have chronic gum disease and terrible bone loss in my jaw. This is because of a specific condition - your body goes into overdrive in the way it fights plaque - which you have a genetic predisposition to, and which apparently 10-15% of the population have (though few as badly as me.)

Pregnancy kicked this into overdrive. You're supposed to have a 'pocket' of 3ish mms between tooth and gum - lots of mine are 10mms or more.

Is related to autoimmune conditions and possibly to osteo.

Anyway, will probably lose all my teeth. Totally sucks, not much I can do, and bloody annoyingly unfair as otherwise my teeth are fine.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/11/2014 11:22

"My point is that dentists want to make money and they have an agenda"

Have worked for several dentists for 10 years and their agenda has always been do the best for the patients' dental health tbh.

grumpyoldgitagain · 19/11/2014 11:29

Dentists do want to make money, but so do the garage when they have your car in for repair, the hairdressers when you are sat there getting your hair done, the plumber who comes out to fix your boiler.

As with everything else there are good and bad and it is a case of finding someone who you like and trust and is capable of doing what you need for a price you are happy with or willing to pay

googoodolly · 19/11/2014 11:42

hellodave whereabouts in Suffolk are you? There's a brilliant practise in Bury St Edmunds.

MissRueful · 19/11/2014 11:58

You can have a similar experience with vets and your pets teeth. The vet I first saw with my cat said his teeth needed scaling and possible extraction. We had to change vets on moving and the new vet said the teeth were fine and just scraped off a bit of tartar. The cat never showed any sign of problem with teeth. I have had problems with my own teeth my whole life. It does appear to be genetic in my family.

I am also from a generation where it was common to get your teeth filled. No pain or problems yet you apparently needed three fillings!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/11/2014 12:00

In my experienced dentists not only want to make correct decision based in best interests of patients teeth but indeed have to and have to back that up if required. Dentists are regulated despite what some people think. A few bad apples shouldn't tarnish whole.profession.

MissRueful · 19/11/2014 12:01

I sound like I am contradicting myself. No problems but subsequent ones after all the fillings. They used to put you out with gas in those
Days. Talk about PTSD!!!

specialsubject · 19/11/2014 12:11

wow, and I thought landlords had it bad on here...again we have the idea that making money out of a necessary service is a crime. I hope anyone who posts this is happy to work for free.

and to make the set we have the 'Brits have bad teeth/Americans all have lovely teeth' old chestnut. Yep, grossly overweight with a fake smile is such a good look. (A comment no less valid than the first one!)

of course there are bad dentists. There are plenty of good ones, who will instantly spot a teeth-grinder. Good luck with stopping that though, if you find a cure let me know!

Wolfiefan · 19/11/2014 12:14

Second opinion. Definitely.
I saw a dentist in my twenties who told me if I didn't spend a small fortune then I'd lose my teeth by 30. I was terrified. I never went back.
I moved house and saw another dentist who said no such thing. I'm over 40. Have all my gnashers! A few cleans and one v small filling.

minklundy · 19/11/2014 14:48

to counter all the horror stories I have had at least two dentists say 9(f different teeth) that tooth might need filled at some point but give it an extra brush take more care of it and it will probably fine as I don't want to fill a tooth unnecessarily.
I also had 4 teeth come in with something wrong with the enamel (cheese molars or something?) due to something that happened in infancy. they all had to be filled. The same fillings are still in them 30 years later.

for every bad dentists you get several good ones.

and don't forget that the three of the biggest improvements in health and quality of life over the last couple of hundred years and antibiotics, anaesthetics and modern dentistry. (and your dentist can do all 3 of those)

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 19/11/2014 16:34

special - if you're going to take issue with a comment I make, at least quote me accurately! That is my experience. Every trip I make to the UK, I'm shocked at the state of people's teeth. I can't think of one American friend I have here with 'bad' teeth (at least to look at). My dentist here took one look at my teeth and DH's teeth and wondered why on earth they were as they were (both grew up in the UK with NHS treatment). Of course there'll be the odd dodgy dentist on both sides of the pond, but it's fair to say that the US view of dental health/what is acceptable is very different from the British, generally NHS-based, one. Intervention at an early stage is key, preventative measures seem the norm - eg I have never been asked by a dentist in the UK if I floss. Yesterday I took 3 year old DD to her paediatric dentist and they flossed her teeth as part of her routine exam...

raltheraffe · 19/11/2014 16:45

I fail to see why you have to state you are middle class and your children wear Boden. How is that relevant to tooth decay?
Every time I read your post I am picturing Mrs Bucket...."no, its Bouquet"

Anticyclone · 19/11/2014 16:59

Sorry you're getting a hard time OP, I thought the Emma Bridgewater comment was one of the funniest I've read on MN for ages! Actual laughing out loud here.

AnyoneForTardis · 19/11/2014 17:10

gosh Im dreading this!

we haven't been for 3 years-I have aphobia and DC screams the place down anyway.

DCs teeth are as yellow as the Simpsons but I make sure she cleans her teeth every day, hardly any sugar (no fizy drinks at all nd healthy eater, she just has thin enamel) and Im dreading eventually going to one (when I find a decent one who wont judge!).

JuanPotatoTwo · 19/11/2014 18:09

My dad is 89 and has all his own teeth :) He used to dope for dentists back in the day, and I think a lot of the time he was paid in kind so forever having his teeth looked at.

I am very unlikely to follow in his footsteps but I have to say every dentist I've seen (and have seen many over the years due to lots of moving) has been kind, willing to take time to explain, scrupulous, competent.

JuanPotatoTwo · 19/11/2014 18:13

Tardis a good dentist won't judge, they'll try to help. If he/she does judge, find a different one. Bite the bullet (not too hard though if you're teeth are dodgy :)) and explain at the outset what your fears and worries are. Most of them understand only too well that a lot of people fear the dentist and will seek to allay your fears.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 19/11/2014 18:17

Judegy dentists really piss me off. They charge exorbitant fees, they should not be treating patients like this.

I had to have a root canal work a couple of years ago. Went for the first lot - charge £300. Went back, three weeks later for second lot and the dentist said, sorry this has not worked, I will have to take the tooth out. Another £300. I HATE the dentist.

AnyoneForTardis · 19/11/2014 18:23

not just that though is it?
why do dentists have such bad breath?
AND start asking you questions when they've got their hands in your mouth?

?

Gunpowder · 19/11/2014 18:32

I've got a phobia of the dentist. I would far rather have a smear test than a dental check up, and rather give birth than have dental treatment.

I think it's caught up with feeling like I will be told off or judged if my teeth are less than perfect. Added to this is the loss of power that comes when you are unable to move or speak, and everything to do with your mouth is so intimate, it feels like an invasion of privacy, especially if it's someone you perceive to be critical or unsympathetic.

That said, I think paternalistic, telly-offy dentistry is quite old school now. Would definitely recommend a different dentist next time!

confused79 · 19/11/2014 18:35

Definitely get a second opinion. I went to the dentist for the first time in 10 years as a filling fell out, and during that time consumed shit loads of sugar, fizzy drinks,and needed no work done. Of course I used to go through a pack of chewing gum a day which is apparently good in preventing tooth decay?

confused79 · 19/11/2014 18:36

Oh and that's on NHS. Funny how you need no work done when they're getting nothing from you.

hellodave · 19/11/2014 18:45

Ooo im near BSE! I'll pm you.

confuddledDOTcom · 19/11/2014 18:54

I drink loads of coke, the only filling I have is because they cracked a tooth taking out my wisdom teeth (which were badly impacted so nothing to do with coke) and I'm not too good at remembering to do my teeth twice a day (mostly because I suffer chronic pain and fatigue so don't know what I'm doing half the time) but I have good teeth. My sister brushes twice a day and has loads of fillings. My daughter brushes twice a day but has ridged teeth so they always look mucky. Ignore him, get the work done you need and try not to let him get to you. I would complain though and find a nicer dentist.

Wishtoremainunknown · 19/11/2014 18:58

Must depend where in the states you live. When I did summer camp work over there I'd never seen kids with so many fillings before. All of them even the ones still with baby teeth. Probably due to all the crap they eat. So many of them were overweight too.

McSqueezy · 19/11/2014 19:13

British people = bad teeth. Living up to the stereotype reading this thread.

I have never needed more than a clean and polish in my life. I go every 6 months with my children. Seems strange so many people have such poor oral hygiene - there is no way it's all a result of genetics.