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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To complain about what my midwife just said!

22 replies

saiyme09 · 18/11/2014 16:31

Just called my midwife to ask for an appointment, to ask for a prescription and to inform her that the maternity assessment unit ( I went in as I had a small amount if blood I called them and they requested I come in, everything was thankfully fine with the baby) have booked me an appointment to test for gestational diabetes. I mentioned also that my eyesight has recently got worse and that I keep feeling dizzy.......her reply was there's isn't much point me seeing you as there's nothing I can do about your feeling dizzy she then interjected " oh I can't wait till this pregnancies over , it's going to be a long one"! I feel rather upset purely because I feel what I called for was justified I hadn't googled anything or read a silly article and quoted it! I feel that because this is my first pregnancy I'm in my 20's and currently classed as low dependency she thinks I'm just over sensitive...maybe I am but I feel like now I can't call for an appointment if there is something wrong!'... I certainly don't call every other day this is the first time I've calls to flag a query or worry! So should I complain ?

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LittleMisslikestobebythesea · 18/11/2014 16:34

That was very unprofessional of her, and yes she can do something about the dizziness, she can check your blood pressure for a start.

Please don't be fobbed off by her, ask for another midwife and see a doctor about your eyesight, you shouldn't be feeling dizzy.

LittleMisslikestobebythesea · 18/11/2014 16:35

And you are better to get things checked out and it be nothing, than not be checked and it be serious.

PlumpingUpPartridge · 18/11/2014 16:36

What a silly woman.

See a doctor instead, I bet he/she will be considerably more professional.

Congratulations on your pregnancy Thanks

luckynumbereleven · 18/11/2014 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saiyme09 · 18/11/2014 16:40

These are my thoughts my partner says it might just be her humour... It might well be however if I do complain I have to move Drs as she's the only midwife attached to my Drs surgery...

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LittleMisslikestobebythesea · 18/11/2014 16:43

Even if it is her humour, you base it on how well you know people. In work I have customers I know well and have a laugh with, there are ones I don't know well, so wouldn't joke the same.

It's still unprofessional of her.

PlumpingUpPartridge · 18/11/2014 16:44

You don't have to move - I had a midwife I disliked for the first half of my first pregnancy, then thankfully I got another one! I put up with her - she wasn't too bad apart from not really listening to me Hmm and thankfully she was nowhere near the hospital when DS1 popped out Grin

LittleBairn · 18/11/2014 16:47

Yes I would that very unprofessional. I would also take up with her superior that fact that she denied you a gestational diabetes test too and that your concerned that her attitude is putting babies & mothers at risk.

IAlreadyToldYou · 18/11/2014 16:48

What a silly thing to say, could you see your gp regarding the prescription / worry about diziness etc instead?

You might want to get them to check for low iron. I was in my twenties when I was pregnant with my first child and was suffering terribly with dizziness, turned out I was severely anaemic. Just because you're young and healthy doesn't mean you can't suffer from pregnancy ailments and she shouldn't be so dismissive, silly woman.

LumpenproletariatAndProud · 18/11/2014 16:49

Oh. That's mean. I was in my 20's and low dependency yet at worried endlessly about my pregnancies at certain points. M midwife was amazing and patient with me.

Exactly how you should be in that profession.

Sod her, find another MW if you can.

LittleBairn · 18/11/2014 16:50

You don't have to move there are other community midwives avalible insist another one. Usually community midwives operate out of a central clinic try may visit your GPs clinic but you can also have appointments elsewhere.

saiyme09 · 18/11/2014 16:53

Thankyou I'm going to call the dr tonmorrow, she didn't deny me a gestational diabetes test Littlebairn the midwife assessment unit have already booked it she hasn't it much say on that thankfully! However she did laughingly mention something along the lines of "oh you don't think you have preeclampsia do you"? I replied I didn't even know what that was...quite frankly the more I think about it the more I feel annoyed! Who do I even complain to!?

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SassySugarCane · 18/11/2014 16:54

What a silly old trout she sounds. My midwife was a right cow, I cancelled an appointment and forgot to rearrange it. Did she phone me? No, she came and banged on my door at 8am! I tried to rearrange an another one as my hips were painful and I could not face the walk to the surgery (20+ mins), she got very nasty on the phone, saying I could not keep missing appointments like this (Hmm) and then turned up at my house insisting on completing the appointment. Very abrupt, 'pee in this' etc then 'throw this away' handing me the urine test strip. Whole time she was there she was berating me saying she could refer me (didn't say where, I assume SS)

39 week appointment, she booked the induction I did not want, (I was sitting there telling her, no, I want active management, please. I would happily attend for monitoring) She spoke over me, picked up the phone and booked it anyway! Thankfully for my last appointment I had the lovely midwife I had in my first pregnancy, whom I explained my fears to and she reassured me, booked me in for a sweep at 41 weeks exact, didn't need it, gave birth on the day of the appt!

Anyway, what I am saying is if you are not happy with your treatment, complain loudly, I was not loud enough, but thankfully did not have to put up with her in labour etc.

SassySugarCane · 18/11/2014 16:58

Lovely midwife phoned me a couple of hours after birth asking me if everything was okay as I had not turned up for my sweep, explained I had had the baby and apologised that I had not turned up, she said it was fine obviously my mind was on other things Grin dread to think what the other midwife would have said, probably wouldn't have let me speak haha.

saiyme09 · 18/11/2014 17:05

Oh god! I can't imagine what shed say if she turned up at my house! Probably lecture me that women used to give birth in the jungle an I should be thankful I have a house......she goes upon this line every routine appointment I have. I understand she's seen 1000000's of pregnancies and I do get where she comes from but I'm not a midwife...I'm a TA so my medical knowledge of pregnancy is obviously rather limited!

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cakedcrusader · 18/11/2014 17:29

Definitely complain! You should have a number for a supervisor of midwives on the front of your notes, if you call and tell them your community midwife is rude and patronising towards you they will find you another one.

saiyme09 · 18/11/2014 17:40

Thank you I'll call tommorrow before work! I feel a bit better now I don't feel like I'm a silly fuss pot!

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Topseyt · 18/11/2014 17:53

You are not a silly fusspot. You have an irritating, flippant and unprofessional sounding midwife. My pregnancies were a number of years ago now, but the sort of behaviour you describe would have driven me nuts.

I would imagine the community midwives have a base at one of your local hospitals, so you could try complaining to the head of midwifery there as well as to your GP (who I would have thought could advise you too). Ask to be allocated another midwife.

LittleBairn · 18/11/2014 17:54

There is a supervisor of midwives she is the one who will deal with complaints.

batmanandrobin · 18/11/2014 18:00

how far gone are you? i am appalled to read this, honestly some of the midwives ive come across- it's disheartening that those working in the care provision lack such essential skills.

good on you for asking, and do see it through.. as people have said make sure you see your dr asap- when you're pregnant nothing isn't worth checking out in my opinion.

may also be an idea to buy a heartbeat monitor and blood pressure do dar (baby brain!!!) so you can do some checks yourself at home and fe comfortable baby is okay (and you). i think the heartbeat monitor only works after 16wk.

i ignored too much when i was pregnant. i have a horror story but it's not relevant to share details- lets just say i saw my midwife at 39wk and my blood pressure was so high i was zoomed to hospital for emergency delivery. if only i had been concerned about my vision, shortness of breath and swelling!!!!

best wishes xx

saiyme09 · 18/11/2014 18:13

Thankyou very much lady's! I'll call the dr tomorrow, everything so far has been fine so I'm sure I will be! Just all rather upsetting whe I haven't got a clue what's meant to happen

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saiyme09 · 18/11/2014 18:15

Also I'm 19 weeks so somewhat out if the danger zone

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