To take a baby in a car without a carseat?

[Plateofcrumbs]

I'm visiting parents for a couple of days round Christmas, travelling alone across London and then by train to the sticks with baby DS. Baby DS will be in sling and I need to bring a largish wheeled suitcase.

Parents live a mile from train station up a steep hill. My plan was to walk from station as I won't have a car seat with me, but Dad is insisting he picks us up in car, with DS in the sling.

I feel very uncomfortable about the idea, and I know it is illegal, but in terms of risk seems no less safe than regular trips I make via bus with DS.

I could lug car seat with me, but again think that objectively my chances of an accident dragging a suitcase and car seat across London are greater than DS being in sling for a 1 mile journey on quiet roads.

AIBU and WWYD?

Iam - not sure what you are proving by singling out a factually correct statement. I do not drive - I have 3 children very close in age - I have hauled children in slings and buggies all around the country and very rarely accepted a lift/ made a car journey without a carseat. but sometimes i.e. When the wheel fell off a double buggy while walking between two villages and a taxi was called... Life has a way of getting in the way of the best laid plans.

I'd get a cheapish carseat that would cover birth - 4 years. We don't have a car (live central London) but we still have a carseat in our house for our older DD and overdue, younger DD when will she arrive FFS.

It's not just about that one off journey but what happened if you needed to rush to hospital or make another emergency journey. If you plan to visit regularly might as well get one now and then it is always there in the future.

I know it's a total pain in the arse, having lugged carseats all the way to Australia / America for the one off journey but I couldn't forgive myself if something happened.

Don't buy a second hand car seat. It's not worth the risk when a new one can be bought for so little money.

I have a similar dilemma coming up and thanks Paleontologist I might order one of those for my parents house. I didn't realise you could get them so cheaply, we paid a fortune for ours!

bigmouthstrikesagain Iam was correcting your statement because it reads that it is not illegal to have a lift in a private car with a child that young and it is. It is only allowed in taxis if the child is under 3, it is not legal in a private car no matter what the circumstances.

You do know if your dad got caught he would be in trouble, and fined.Not to mention the safety aspect...but thats ok its christmas day.Tell your dad to get pissed up before he drives thennyou would really be entering into the spirit of things

Yes please do get a car seat. Sod what your dad thinks! If there was an accident, even a small one, the consequences for your baby could be catastrophic. If your dad needs convincing, tell him to Google internal decapitation.
I'm really lax about most safety things but I've attended car collisions and seen the damage even a small collision can do. Harrowing.

Plate it seems like you have a plan but let me say, with the greatest respect, that whether or not your father thinks you're being ridiculous is absolutely irrelevant. I'm only 2.5 years into this parenting malarkey but if I had a pound for every cat's bum mouth I have got from my mother, particularly in relation to car issues, I could give up the job I'm currently supposed to be doing and live off the proceeds.

We have laid down the law in relation to carseats and engineer matters so that they are rarely driven by my mother (who's not very good at it) and never driven without us in the car as my mother's arthritic hands are not good at handling car seat buckles and I don't trust her to put them in safely. I also fit the car seat as my Dad (bless him) arrived at the airport with GREAT pride with the car seat "fitted" in the back, according the instructions, I pushed it and it went flying into the middle seat. Erm, no.

It will mean sulks and crossness and lots of "I've been driving for 40 years / you were fine roaming around the boot" comments but you just have to steel yourself for those, and keep going.

Best of luck, and enjoy your Christmas celebrations .

plate where are your parents? I have an old car seat that I would happily drop off with them for you if it would help?

Thanks for reassurance I am not being overly PFB. We spent £300 on our car seat (maxicosi pebble + isofix base) and had no idea that £40 could buy you something serviceable for the grandparents' house.

In most cases we would drive to GPs hence don't have this dilemma, it is only because I am travelling alone and DH will be using our car that it is a problem. But for £40 it is worth having a spare at GPs.

most accidents happen on short journeys. but it is also very rare that people are injured in those accidents, as most fatal or serious injuries only occur at high speed

if the journey involves a few minutes travel in a built up area at 30mph maximum speeds then the risks of injury in any collision are not high

I think it's definitely worth a spare. You never know when the grandparents might need to help out, and for £30-£40 its one less thing to worry about. FIL used to borrow a seat but gave in and bought himself one as it was just so much easier and it meant none of us had to worry if he did look after DC at short notice.

Your mad walking when you have a lift. Ask your dad to get a cheap car seat, borrow one. In taxi you would not require a car seat is its a ine off journey. Surely this applies to this journey.

actually, I think a mile-long walk after spending time cooped up in a train sounds quite nice! Depending on how heavy your baby is, of course!

I would get in the car. It's fine as a one off.

DD used to scream and scream in her car seat. I've done many journeys with her in my lap. It was either that or let her scream her lungs out.

just buy one and send it to them, that's what I did for my Mother's car

I live overseas, and am not bringing my car seat, I will be travelling through London with 5 month old in a sling large suitcase plus 4 year old, then going up to birmingham to my family, I bought a cheap car seat (9months to 11 y) that my mom keeps so when I come over I don't have to bring car seat, she also has the car seat group 0 from dd1.

Depends on the weather, if it is chucking it down, very windy or snowy

It's true that we used to have babies in carrycots on the back seats of cars, on our laps etc, but the law was changed for a reason. There are many more cars around now and just because your DF is a good driver it doesn't mean that everyone else on the road is.
We have car seats at our house so the DGC can go in the car without the hassle of swapping seats around. Having one sent to your DF is a brilliant idea.

That's if you go regularly.

Had almost the same situation some years back when travelling with my 3 DCs to a family gathering at Uncles house. I was met at the station by uncle and dad in a car with 2 borrowed seats for my DC 1 and 2 and was told to put the baby on my lap. I was happy to walk and was bullied into travelling in the car by my elder relatives and this was constantly referred to over the weekend by all the family. I had no idea where the house was otherwise would have walked off. On our return I insisted we walked back to the station which took us all of 10 minutes! I was mighty pissed off by the whole affair and it still grates now almost 10 yrs later! If you can get hold of a seat then do, but if not then stick to your guns-a mile is no distance to walk and we live in the UK-it rains, we get wet!

I have that kiddicare car seat for my son and think it's great. You could also join freecycle in your parents home town and ask if anyone has one they don't want anymore. Your dad could pick it up in advance.

Maybe your Dad can come and get the suitcase and you can walk? Otherwise he can borrow a car seat. I'd do with a toddler (no car seat, strapped into adult seat belt) from around 2, but not with a baby.