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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would DH be able to take parental leave in this situation?

24 replies

incognitonc · 17/11/2014 18:45

DH is nearly at the end of a 7 week trip away with work. He will get back on a Monday and expect him to be in work on Tuesday even though his flight gets in late and there is quite a big time diffrence where he is. He has to leave for work before Ds is up and gets back just in time to do bedtime, which means it will be nearly another working week before he gets to spend some proper time with DS. He has done quite a few trips this year but not as long as this one. For the other trips he used a couple of days holiday when he got back. This trip was last minute so he didn't put any holiday by for this one. We're not really sure how parental leave works so could he use it in this situation? He just wants to take the Tuesday off.

Thanks Smile

OP posts:
incognitonc · 17/11/2014 18:47

Sorry there are a few typos/mistakes in that! My sleep deprived phone typing is not the best!

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Pastperfect · 17/11/2014 18:49

Never mind parental leave if I am away for a weekend with work (normal hours mon-fri) them I am entitled to days in lieu for the weekend days. Whether I get to take them due to pressure of work would be another matter but there is no way I would be going into work on the Tuesday, especially not before my DC had even woken up

AnyFucker · 17/11/2014 18:50

Parental leave is for emergencies, right ?

So, no.

I think it would be very mean of his company to deny him a day of TIL or AL so he can spend it with his son though. However, he will still see him at bedtime, and as a family you choose for him to do such a family-unfriendly job so I dunno really.

incognitonc · 17/11/2014 18:50

Sorry again, this was meant to be in chat!

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Mostlyjustaluker · 17/11/2014 18:50

I think parental leave is for emergencies eg child is sick and you need to sort alternative childcare. Can't he explain the situation to his employers?

CantBeBotheredThinking · 17/11/2014 18:51

Parental leave is normally taken for a week at a time and has to be requested 21 days in advance, it won't cover this situation. Lot of bugs going around at the moment and travel is bad for triggering them.

Hissy · 17/11/2014 18:51

he needs to inform them that he's taking a good week of R&R.

not ask. inform.

KristinaM · 17/11/2014 18:53

If he's away for 7 weeks, he will have accrued TOIL. How many hours a week will he be working when he is away.? Has he opted out of the directive on working hours ?

WooWooOwl · 17/11/2014 18:54

Parental leave isn't for emergencies, it's unpaid time off that has to be arranged in advance.

I agree that your DH should tell work that he needs a day off after being away from home for seven weeks.

AnyFucker · 17/11/2014 18:55

Has he actually asked ?

Figster · 17/11/2014 18:55

Dependants leave is emergency unpaid leave parental leave is planned I think there are notice requirements and it's unpaid why can't he take annual leave?

Will they not offer any time off in lieu? Does seem they asking a lot

anotherdayanothersquabble · 17/11/2014 18:56

parental leave is not just for emergencies but also 'to spend more time with their children'.

However, in this situation, 7 weeks away, which I assume included weekends, plus late travel and time difference issues,neven without children, it would not be unreasonable to have a day (if not several!!) off in lieu of travelling / working away for the weekends.

Does his company / department have any TOIL policies? These should be used as parental leave would not apply in this case (needs to be approved in advance, taken in whole weeks, taken unpaid, see link for details).

AnyFucker · 17/11/2014 18:57

Is it carer leave that is for emergencies ? Yep. Sorry, got that wrong.

Parental leave is meant to be planned and agreed in advance, has to last at least a whole week and is unpaid.

CleanLinesSharpEdges · 17/11/2014 18:58

He's been away for 7 weeks so YANBU to think he should request a day off.

I'd imagine annual leave would cover this, or certainly TOIL. I doubt parental leave would - parental leave wouldn't cover "I fancy a day off to spend with my child" where I work, even if you have been away for 7 weeks.

ilovesooty · 17/11/2014 18:58

It's not a parental leave situation as other posters said. He would surely have accrued some TOIL and it would be appropriate to ask to take it.

YellowTulips · 17/11/2014 19:01

So I do a lot of travel for work.

The approach would be as follows in my case.

For a 7 week trip away I would be able to either claim payment or time of in lieu for the weekends.

For a flight in Europe I would come in to work the next day, but if it was the US or similar I would be allowed to work from home to get over the jet lag.

Upshot is he shouldn't need parental leave to cover this. Does his company have a travel policy he can ask for?

incognitonc · 17/11/2014 19:03

Wow thanks, so many quick replies! He has run out of annual leave, he didn't know this trip was coming up so he didn't plan for it when deciding when to take his leave. He has been pretty flexible in doing this trip in the first place tbh. His manager has said he can't take the day off unpaid. No TIl either. He has been working 6 day weeks while out there, which is more than what he usually works. Unfortunately it would be a bit obvious to pull a sickie now, allthough I am also worried about him doing the job he does with jet lag.

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AnyFucker · 17/11/2014 19:06

That doesn't sound good. He should get TIL for the very fact he was away for 7 weeks. There is no policy ? Then he should consult his union or ACAS.

incognitonc · 17/11/2014 19:06

Sorry yellowtulips I cross posted, I'll tell him to check his travel policy.

They never used to be this inflexible, a few people have left who have not been replaced, so they are pretty short staffed

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ilovesooty · 17/11/2014 19:06

I think know it would be interesting to ask to see his company's work/life balance policy.

KristinaM · 17/11/2014 19:20

What does it say in his contract or employee handbook ?

Hissy · 18/11/2014 15:34

He needs legal advice, pronto - can he call CAB?

Hissy · 18/11/2014 15:34

or ACAS I agree

PurpleSwift · 18/11/2014 15:39

While you say it would be obvious to pull a sickie, I don't think it would be entirely inappropriate to do so. With such little sleep and flying and jet lag I think is be feeling pretty ill tbh and need a day to recuperate.

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