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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let DS babysit little DS ever again.

28 replies

meanderpede · 17/11/2014 18:37

DS is nearly 17. He loves DS2 who is 5, and he adores him. They mess around together a lot, screaming, laughing, rough and tumble. This is all great. He babysits him sometimes and has recently graduated from babysitting when he is already in bed asleep to looking after him awake and putting him to bed. I pay him.

I just caught him playing with an aerosol of deodorant. He had given it to him to play with, with the lid off and was saying, oh no, don't press the button. WIBU not to let him babysit again? He is very keen to earn the money but I just don't think he has the maturity to understand the consequences of something like this.

OP posts:
mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 17/11/2014 18:39

Eh?

Catsarebastards · 17/11/2014 18:40

Bit of an extreme reaction.

Normal response would be to have a stern word about safety and to remind him his charge is only 5.

But it is your child so you get the say over who looks after him so it is up to you.

Gileswithachainsaw · 17/11/2014 18:42

I'd expect the 5 yr old to know better than spray tbh.

I'd have a stern word. It's a minor thing to loose your in house baby sitter over.

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle · 17/11/2014 18:43

I really don't see the problem!

Original poster
meanderpede · 17/11/2014 18:46

Well, the problem is that he was practically daring him to spray it in his eyes, which could have caused temporary blindness.

It worries me that he has no idea of safety.

OP posts:
motherofmonster · 17/11/2014 18:46

Very extreme. And tbh you sound a little bit controlling ' he has recently graduated to watching him while he was already in bed, to watching him while he is awake'.. You realise that there are 1000's of 17 year olds that are parents and can manage just fine, let alone for a couple of hours

motherofmonster · 17/11/2014 18:47

Well that reads completely different to your original post Hmm

Original poster
meanderpede · 17/11/2014 18:48

He wasn't saying, no DS don't press the button, he was screaming in excitement, aaagh noooo don't press the button!!!! in the time-honoured fashion of someone inducing someone to do the exact thing they shouldn't do.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 17/11/2014 18:48

Presumably you have trusted him up to now, and also presumably - as he's your ds - you have a pretty sound knowledge of what he's like?
Then it's your judgement call. Seems a bit of an over reaction to a 5 yr old holding a can of deodorant to me, but I guess I wasn't there.

BathshebaDarkstone · 17/11/2014 18:49

I agree Giles.

Original poster
meanderpede · 17/11/2014 18:50

Sorry, I can see from my first post that it looks like he was being completely responsible. What a blunder.

motherofmonster i''m sure many 16 year olds are responsible enough to look after a child, or get a very quick lesson in being so when they become parents, but I don't think you can extrapolate that out to cover an entire age group.

OP posts:
Catsarebastards · 17/11/2014 18:54

So youre saying your son is a bit of a dickhead? In that case then no, i wouldnt have him babysit again. Not sure why that wasnt already obvious to you.

WooWooOwl · 17/11/2014 18:58

Was your younger ds holding the can right up to his face or something?

I'd be quite impressed with a five year old that had the strength to hold an aerosol button down at the same time as aiming it in their own face. Or am I missing the point?

Topseyt · 17/11/2014 19:01

There is some danger if aerosols are inhaled or if the spray makes contact with the eyes etc.

I am guessing your 17 year old is probably aware of that, but perhaps was just being thoughtless?? Google dangers of aerosol abuse and show him some of the results that come up. They are not toys. They can cause things like breathing difficulties and damage to eyes. They are also highly flamable and can explode if pierced. Even when apparently empty.

Have a very firm word with your 17 year old and show him some of the information which comes up. You are trusting him, but if he is going to egg your 5 year old on with that sort of mucking about then you may have to think again.

Original poster
meanderpede · 17/11/2014 19:09

He's 16 and yes, being thoughtless and perhaps behaving like a dickhead in the way young people often do.

I'm sorry I worded my post so badly. I came in and DS who is 5 and unfeasibly strong was pointing the aerosol right in his face and older DS was egging him on by saying, DON"T PRESS THE BUTTON in a way that would definitely cause clown-in-waiting DS to press it. A very silly scene I was able to deal with, but if I hadn't been there, it would have got a bit out of hand.

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 17/11/2014 19:18

Did you talk to ds at the time? How did he feel about it? If he's normally sensible and mature enough for you to let him babysit up to now, I'd put it down to thoughtlesness/silliness as a one off.

Purplepoodle · 17/11/2014 19:25

Go back to babysitting after bedtime for the moment?

Original poster
meanderpede · 17/11/2014 19:30

Yes I did talk to him about it, explained the danger, he apologised and looked a bit shame-faced because coming back with defensive nonsense about how it wasn't his fault.

Of course I will let him babysit again in the future but really, I"m just exasperated he doesn't have some sort of reflex to kick in when a small child is pointing an aerosol towards his eyes. It's everything else too - leaving heavy tools out (including a stanley knife), and other not the end of the world stuff. I just think maybe he we should hold off till he's a bit older.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 17/11/2014 19:33

I'm really surprised that at 16, they haven't been left alone until now. I mean I can imagine leaving my 14 year old with a hypothetical younger sibling while I went to the shops etc.

Original poster
meanderpede · 17/11/2014 19:35

They have often been left alone.

OP posts:
Bulbasaur · 17/11/2014 19:35

He wasn't saying, no DS don't press the button, he was screaming in excitement, aaagh noooo don't press the button!!!

That's just being immature and stupid. But you were home and this is why DS is a babysitter for a short while instead of a regular caretaker.

You really don't understand what a death trap everything in the house is until it's your child playing with everything. Until then it's "Oh, it's just deodorant, it won't hurt him".

I would have a talk about not spraying foreign substances in your face and other seemingly obvious things that a teenager probably wouldn't think about. Like eating and moving at the same time, rough housing near the stairs, playing with the doors, etc...

Can you make him attend a child first aid CPR class where he can learn what to do in an emergency. Maybe when he sees the part of what to do with chemicals in the eyes, he'll wisen up and "get it" in more broader sense than "Don't let little brother have fun with mom around, because it pisses her off".

In the meantime, try to remember we've all gotten hairspray, shampoo, soap, or whatever in our eyes and aren't blind. It's not good to do, but on a scale of dangerous things it's pretty low on the list.

ChimesAndCarols · 17/11/2014 19:37

It seems it is just not only your son, OP. There is a current thread about mature men and how stupid they can be when it comes to looking after DC.

hollie84 · 17/11/2014 19:38

I agree with you OP. Well, not never again but not any time soon either!

socially · 17/11/2014 19:39

What's wrong with pressing the button?

I don't get it!

socially · 17/11/2014 19:41

Oh my god what's wrong with eating and moving at the same time??!!!

The mind boggles! The hidden death traps that I have not been aware of until now!

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