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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my DD watch tv?!

64 replies

Bridezilla3521 · 17/11/2014 18:25

I have just read a thread in which screen time was discussed, regarding how much etc. Some people said they don't let their DC watch tv AT ALL. Never. Ever.

Really?!!!

I find that extremely hard to believe.

My DD is 16 months old. She has tv on in the background in the mornings while I'm getting ready, tidying up etc or in need of just 30 mins of peace! In total, I would say she 'watches' (has it on while playing, occasionally turning around if a song or a programme in particular she likes comes on) 2-3 hours at the very most. That being a day we're at home by the way.

Is this too much?!! Can any of you honestly say that you NEVER have the tv on at any point during the day?!

OP posts:
bakingtins · 17/11/2014 19:02

I did read it, you said you have the TV on for her for 2-3 hours a day. You asked for opinions, mine is that's a lot. If you don't care what we think then why ask?
Another AIBU where the OP only wants her own opinion validated Hmm

NannyNim · 17/11/2014 19:05

My 2yo LO's parents and grandparents put the TV on for him all the time but he really isn't bothered and it drives me crazy having it on "in the background"! He also has a DVD player for the car but again, I don't put it on for him but his parents do. There are one or two programmes he genuinely enjoys, though and he watches 20mins before bed.

It's not recommended for under 3s as it has been shown to hinder communication development (language has to be interactive and responsive for children to pick it up as well as the fact that a lot of noise will prevent children from hearing people speaking to them clearly and prevent them from concentrating). For my LO this doesn't appear to have had any negative impact and there are obviously plenty of children who watch TV and learn to speak just fine! Just something to bear in mind, though!

1lov3comp5 · 17/11/2014 19:15

My dd watches an awful lot of telly but we do arts and craft, baking, she helps me clean etc etc but I still find it hard to fill all the hours in the day so I use the TV...she seems fine Grin

MissHJ · 17/11/2014 19:17

My son is 15 months old and is not fussed about tv. He will sometimes watch a little in the morning and he loves in the night garden before bed when we remember. Today he has not watched any TV thou. Yesterday he watched more than usual because he was ill so it's hit and miss.

I disagree that's it's all pointless. My son likes mr tumble and he really does pick up some of the signs. I think if you pick the shows they watch, they can have a educational benefit.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 17/11/2014 19:19

Mine watched hours and hours of TV especially when she was very small.
All A*'s and A's in her GCSE's.
People get bent out of shape about anything child/TV/food/FF/BF related.

Has fuck all to do with anyone else. Your the parent. You decide. Smile

snice · 17/11/2014 19:28

I can't bear TV 'on in the background'. If you want to watch something then watch it, if you don't, turn it off. I have a friend who has it on all the time-drives me mad. If you call round (by arrangement, not in the middle of a film or something she's been looking forward to watching!) she just turns the sound down.

Kewrious · 17/11/2014 19:34

Between Thursday 5 pm and Monday 10 am last week my DS watched no TV. I spend Friday at home with him (he is 2.10) and didn't switch on the TV or the iPad for his use. We never have the TV on to watch stuff unless there is sport (and we were out of the house during the rugby) and don't let him use the iPad at all. But it doesn't mean he watches no TV at all. Today when I picked him up from the childminder he was exceptionally tired and then fell over on the way home. When I got in I plonked him in front of the TV for 20 mins to calm him down before dinner. But at 16 months he watched maybe an hour a week if that.

Artandco · 17/11/2014 19:35

We don't have a TV at home so no they don't watch. In the last year we have started taking them to the cinema occasionally so they see a film every few months there.

As adults dh and I have never watched TV at home ( odd film in cinema also), so never occurred to buy a TV for them. They are 3 and 4

Artandco · 17/11/2014 19:37

Oh so yes I think 2-3 hrs a day is loads. I also don't get the TV on in background thing. Why don't you turn the radio on or play some music if you want background noise

Kewrious · 17/11/2014 19:40

And yes we both hate background noise. But if there is Wimbledon on we might have the TV on during the day etc but ordinarily never. It is just not part of our family routine. DH and I never had a big chat about screen time, it has evolved the way it has. I am not particularly fussed about other people's TVS watching habits though.

ChickenMe · 17/11/2014 19:51

It's up to you how much TV she watches. But I don't think it does any harm to limit it because there is plenty of time to become a slave to a screen as an adult!

OT a bit but I bloody hate "TV on by default". My ILs do this and I do judge.
To the extent that you have them round for BBQ in summer and F and BIL are in the living room watching TV.
When our LO is born I will have to say to OH when visitors come round the TV stays off as they have come to see LO not watch TV.

BauerTime · 17/11/2014 20:02

My DS is 15m and I personally can't wait for the day he will sit through an entire episode of peppa pig or whatever so I can get something done. So far he really isn't interested in the TV but that's not because we don't ever have it on or limit the amount of exposure he has to it.

I think that it's just another 'thing' that parents are supposed to worry about these days when really it's not a big deal unless you are taking it to the extreme.

stargirl1701 · 17/11/2014 20:06

Never had it on in DD1's first 2 years. I cannot see the point, tbh. No programme is as effective as a parent/child interaction. Since she turned 2, she watches one episode of Something Special and one episode of Balamory a day. I feel this important on a cultural basis.

We are following AAP guidelines:

www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Pages/Media-and-Children.aspx

We will have to schedule DD1's TV viewing in DD2's nap time until she reaches 2 years.

Ginrummy · 17/11/2014 20:17

In my house it's virtually impossible to cook a meal without the tv on.
I've tried and it's really not good with two young, hungry and tired dcs.
Also, at the weekend, how else do you get to relax with a cuppa when you get up stupidly early?

IUsedToBeAFlump · 17/11/2014 20:28

TV and sweets as much as you like here. Always has been (probably as never been abused). Now DS(8) occasionally watches TV if it's something wants to watch. Likes the occasional DVD (more if it's a new one!). Loves the iPad (in moderation). Loves chocolate. Hates sweets. The more you refuse, the more they want. Also... the TV... some programmes you can learn loads.

ShowMeTheWonder · 17/11/2014 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Micksy · 17/11/2014 20:40

I'm not perfect. My kids watch a lot of telly. They are also super smarty pants. I recall looking at the amount of words they were supposed to say at various points and thinking, wow, they know that amount in cbeebies characters alone. Yes, Mickey taught them colours. Yes, Dora taught them Spanish, but I taught them how to get to switch between American and British Netflix at three years old, so I've not been slacking.

cardibach · 17/11/2014 20:47

Artandco what's the difference between TV in the background and radio in the background? Really confused by that and think there's some snobbery at play...

ShowMeTheWonder · 17/11/2014 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moonrocket · 17/11/2014 21:03

showme/worra - you're right. I am shocked at the number of parents in restaurants who sit there at table, on their phone/ipad ignoring their children, and staring at their screen. Wtf would you go out for a meal with them, only to ignore them? A lot of babies in buggies are ignored by their mothers talking incessantly on their phones too. It's awful.

ginrummy- I gave my children toys and books... they played, I drank tea. You get used to drinking it scalding hot or freezing cold though Wink

girliefriend · 17/11/2014 21:05

Yanbu but that said 2-3hrs for a pre schooler a day is quite a lot.

I limit telly for my dd who is 8yo, she watches max of an hour after school (if she has done homework and behaved herself Wink) The wends are more relaxed and she can watch telly if she is up before me and if weather is rubbish will watch a film or two in the afternoons.

Tbh we live in a small flat and I find having the telly on annoying esp all the Tracy Beaker crap she wants to watch so it is limited as much for that reason as anything else!!

moonrocket · 17/11/2014 21:08

cardibach I suppose it would depend on the quality of the programmes on each really. Radio One vs The Parliamentary channel... Confused Grin

ovaltine · 17/11/2014 21:10

Tv always on in my house. But DD doesn't sit and watch it enthralled, she plays and does other stuff too. I have to say, cbeebies is pretty awesome, it's amazing what she has learnt and has a fantastic imagination. Only time she watches it and stays still is when we put a DVD on before bed or she's ill. I don't see what harm its going to do her. She loves Big Bang Theory too (she's 3).

dietcokeandwine · 17/11/2014 21:10

I have friends who would claim their DC watched no TV because they don't (like Art) physically have a TV in the house. Their DC watch DVDS on the laptop or Ipad though, which is kind of the same thing in my book Grin

Completely banning screens and/or TV watching altogether is a bit like completely banning sweets/chocolate etc. Fine and probably sensible for the under twos. Kind of understandable for a 3/4yo PFB. From 5 upwards, at risk of allowing the forbidden thing to become a total holy grail for the child involved which is not necessarily a good thing.

Worra has it absolutely spot on re the phone thing. And the bloody headphones plugged in whilst pushing the buggy. I was out with 21mo DC3 the other day and in the course of a 10 minute walk I saw five other mothers/nannies with (awake) toddlers in buggies - all but one had headphones in whilst they walked along and were completely ignoring the child. That's far more of an issue than a bit of TV, IMO.

moonrocket · 17/11/2014 21:11

showme- that was me re napping. No, my first didn't ever sleep either, I know it's hard. But we had no television, and tbh because she didn't sleep, she was so exhausted, she would have been manic and hyperactive if I'd plonked her in front of a screen. Only 5 mile walks sent her off to sleep... I was so thin by the time she was 10mo.