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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think 9:40 is too late to ring someone's house?

43 replies

Angel1983 · 17/11/2014 09:11

I was in bed last night at 9:40 (I know it's early but I'm up at 5). I was just about to drop off to sleep and the phone rang (and rang). When I eventually dragged myself out of bed thinking it might be a family emergency it turned out to be a family acquaintance ringing for a chat.

I am not overly bothered about this but I was just wondering what time people think is too late to ring people who aren't close family or friends.

OP posts:
mameulah · 17/11/2014 09:12

Just don't answer.

Sorry you were woken though.

iwantgin · 17/11/2014 09:14

I don't phone anyone after 9.00pm.

Unless it is an emergency. Must be about the 'right' time, as most of my family and friends do the same.

LaurieFairyCake · 17/11/2014 09:15

  1. I ignore people after then. Think it's too late at 9.40.

Everyone I know is in bed by 10 now Grin

My Dh is angling to go at 9 [??

ThatBloodyWoman · 17/11/2014 09:16

Yanbu.
9 is the cut off for me.

fluffyraggies · 17/11/2014 09:18

YANBU

A call any time after 9 is 'late' in this house. Ears prick up, wondering if it's something wrong.

My MIL used to have form for ringing at around 10pm, despite the fact that she knows DH and i generally go to bed at 10. DH would be yawning all the way through the calls as he's shattered by that time. We are up at 6 every day; she's a late riser and doesn't go to bed till the early hours.

She did it a couple of times this year when DD was only a few weeks old and we had all gone to bed already. Woke the baby and us. DH was fuming a bit short with her and she hasn't done it again.

Call us by 9 for chatting please or not till tomorrow Grin

MTBMummy · 17/11/2014 09:19

8, as the kids are in bed then, and a ringing phone will either wake them or excite them.

DP circumvents PIL's late calling by calling them when I'm doing bed time.

If someone called that close to 10 I would assume it was an emergency

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 17/11/2014 09:20

9-10 is normal to call my mum or for her to call me. She works shifts so I would never speak to her otherwise.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 17/11/2014 09:22

Depends how well you know the person's routine really.

But someone whose routine you don't know well, then I think 9pm is the latest you can really ring without being intrusive.

9:40 is too late to ring someone you don't know well, just for a chat.

Andcake · 17/11/2014 09:24

I'd say after 10.00 is too late. Also people tend to not answer if they don't want a call now days.

MrsPiggie · 17/11/2014 09:32

Depends on the household routine. I hate being called before 8:30pm as that is the time the kids normally go to bed, so anytime before that I haven't got time for a chat. So 9-10pm is the perfect time for calls in my house.

Norfolkandchance1234 · 17/11/2014 09:32

Yes I'd say 9pm is the def the cut off time unless you know that person stays up later and is fine with later calls.

londonrach · 17/11/2014 09:37

Depends on knowing the person. For me everyone but family is 9pm (unless i know they have small children in which case 6pm and text after). Family is 10pm unless something is very very very urgent eg visit to hospital etc.

PickledInAJar · 17/11/2014 09:42

My family are owls so calling at 9 when they don't sleep for another 3 hours means the night is yet young!

However my DH's family are larks, and they're usually heading for bed around 8:30-9, and so I wouldn't call them past 8pm.

Everyone else I have a mental cut-off point of around 8:30. I try to keep texting below 9pm too, as some text tones are as loud as a ringing phone.

RiverTam · 17/11/2014 09:44

yes, I agree. FIL is a shocker for this. And Mil is a shocker for ringing before 9 at the weekend!

DialsMavis · 17/11/2014 09:47

I wouldn't ring anyone I didn't know well enough to know if they would be up after 9pm. I'd ring parents or close friends without babies until 10.30pm

whatever5 · 17/11/2014 09:50

It depends on the person who you are calling. As a teenage/young adult I would phone people up to 10 p.m. as no friends would be in bed at that time. Nowadays, I probably phone friends up until about 9.30 as they have older children and I know they won't be going to bed that early.

ignominious · 17/11/2014 09:55

9 if I knew them well, 8 if I didn't, 7 if they have children. Realistically I'd call their mobile anyway and assume it'd be silent or switched off if they're asleep. I used to have a friend who would get really cross with me for texting her late at night because it would wake her up. ???.

MrsMcColl · 17/11/2014 09:58

Personally I prefer no-one to call at all, ever. Or if they really must, text first to warn me. Hmph.

peggyundercrackers · 17/11/2014 10:00

I don't mind what time people phone, normally speak to my mum late on - usually between 11pm-12pm. also seem to speak to close friends mostly after 10pm but before 11pm. if it was someone I wasn't close with I wouldn't call after 10pm

isaacandelodiesmummy · 17/11/2014 10:03

Still get texts at 11pm but wouldn't answer the phone after 9

Bramshott · 17/11/2014 10:10

10 is my mental cut-off. I wouldn't consider 9.40 to be particularly late (unless it was a friend I knew had very small children or a particularly early start).

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 17/11/2014 10:12

9pm is the cut off point unless you really have to ring us. I usually go to bed between 9 and 10pm so I'm too tired to be chatting. Don't mind texts after 9pm as they don't take as much effort as speaking does and I can see who it is.

Bil thinks nothing of calling after 10 or 11pm for trivial shite that he could've called earlier for. I rarely answer the landline unless I'm in by myself.

mydaftlass · 17/11/2014 10:14

I don't go to bed until midnight so calls are fine until half 10. I don't answer the phone until kids are in bed and I've eaten which is usually about 8.30/9. It totally depends on each individual's habits.

whatsagoodusername · 17/11/2014 10:18

After 9 is too late for chatty calls, unless you know they'll definitely be up.

Until 10, if it's a quick call to check something, reasonably urgently, and you know they'll likely be up.

MrsCosmopilite · 17/11/2014 10:23

Before 9am or after 9pm unless pre-arranged is the wrong time here. I've got elderly relatives who have an ongoing number of problems and any time the phone rings outside 'normal' times sends me into panic mode expecting to pick up the phone and hear the worst.