I'm beginning to suspect that rather a lot of everyday folk who drink alcohol, would actually like to drink less?

[Honeydragon]

I don't drink now, not a drop for just about six years now. Without fail whenever I go on a night out in pubs or bars I do get asked about not drinking. Often, people ask what I do drink etc etc (after demanding to know WHY I don't drink). Nearly every time people say "I'd like to cut down" or "I need to drink less or have a break from drinking).

Let me straight, these conversations as a non drinker don't bother me at all. I'm not a sanctimonious git, I am just a woman who is tee total, and that's it.

But I am surprised in the level of interest people have in being booze free as a life choice, I'm quite interesting and nice (honest I'm not a boring fatty pants) so it's not like the only conversation we can have.

Anyway, in RL it's not like you can go up to people and go, "hello, are you happy with the amount you drink?"

So I'm asking you lot instead?

AIBU to suspect that a sizeable amount of "average" consumers of alcohol would like to drink less?

Not really.

Personally I love wine and know I drink over the 14 units but life is too bloody short to have no vices.

I eat healthily and have never smoked or taken drugs.

My mil never smoked or drank and died of cancer at 64 ffs.
Her dad was an impossible old drunk and died at 87.

I think people are just making polite conversation op.

I have a bottle and a half over 3 nights at the weekend.
I enjoy good quality wine...rather have one glass of something decent than loads of crap wine.
At 54 can't do copious amounts anymore

I don't drink. No big decision or reasoning behind it. I've just always been a bit 'meh' about alcohol. Last time was at my brother's wedding so around 4 years ago. Before that, probably my wedding 9 years ago.

Now fags, I gave them up 20+ years ago and there's not a day goes by when I don't dream about having one.

I'd like to drink more really! Or at least have the opportunity to drink more often. I don't really like drinking on my own at home though, so only drink when I'm out, which isn't very often.

If you'd asked me 3 years ago, when I was drinking, I would definitely say yes, I wanted to drink a lot less than I did. Stopped since I met my partner and became a mum.

But before then I used to get absolutely shitfaced. Embarrass myself, get lost, pass out. I just couldn't control the amount I was drinking. No off switch.

I think some people are in control of their drinking and know when to stop and these are quite happy with the amount they drink. It's the ones who can't control it who wish they could drink less.

Oh Bertie, I hear you re. the cigarettes .

I've given up but when I have too much to drink on nights out, I want a cigarette and usually find someone to give me one. Then I smoke it, swaying about a bit and looking like a twat, and then I feel like an actual piece of shit in the morning. The cigarettes make the hangover worse.

I have quietly dropped most of my friends who can't go out without getting shit-faced, mind you. I'm just tired of having to stay up late while they get emotional and then making sure they get home safely. It is very very tedious when your late 40s friend ALWAYS has to be seen home, every single time.

I'm cutting back because it's keeping me awake this days and I really need my sleep.

I only drink on a weekend anyway but after a few beers I either take hours to nod off and feel like shit when I wake up or I nod off quickly and wake 2 or 3 hours later feeling shit and can I hellers get back off to sleep!
So I've limited myself to only drinking on a Saturday and also limited the amount I drink as well. Only started this recently and my Monday mornings have been more bearable because I'm not sleep deprived.

I realised in my early 30ies that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I made the decision that I didn't want 'having a good time' to equal being drunk. So, I greatly reduced what I was drinking. This ultimately had an effect on the way I socialised and with whom. It wasn't comment free, lots of friends had their opinion on it and I had many a conversation having to justify why I had 'changed'. For a whilst I was tee-total. At present I drink occasionally, maybe a bottle of wine a month at home and I go out every 2/3 months. Once I start drinking though I do find it difficult to stop.

My relationship to alcohol is complicated. I'm still not at peace with it. I wish I could go out and have a good time without it but at the same time no good anecdote begins with 'there I was, in the pub. drinking sparkling water when.....'

Dunno if that helps OP. I do get where you are coming from.

I struggle to find my off switch for food and drink. I'm sure I could find more things to struggle with if I'd had a less sheltered life. Like others have said I can go quite some time without alcohol but I struggle to stop at just one or two drinks

when I used to drink a lot in my lots of socialising, heavy drinking, single lifestyle I would have asked you all those questions with an investigative edge as I truly couldn´t see how it possible to have fun without drinking and getting drunk

not with any real thoughts to cut down myself but to try and empathise enough to tease out your ´alien´thoughts as it was just so weird

the only time I wouldn´t drink would be on anitbiotics

it took lots of people settling down and me becoming one of the last of the people hanging on to the pub lifestyle stumbling home drunk and getting sicker and sicker the next day to realise that I was on the way to a problem, luckily this period of my life overlapped with meeting DP who is French and thinks that unless there is a very specific reason (i.e 1 beer watching a football match) alcohol always goes with food and even in that situation it´s at a much slower pace, so between us we drink on friday and saturday an aperitif each and a bottle of wine shared over 2 nights

I also don't drink at all, because I don't actually like the taste of any alcohol. I did have a mouthful of bubbly at my wedding last month and it was horrible, I poured the rest away while nobody was looking

Dh doesn't drink either, for the same reason. We are very boring geeky 20-somethings

I love wine and knocking it back but I haven't had more than the occasional small glass all year b/c am pregnant and can't really touch it at all because have been so sick and it gives me heartburn. I hope my taste for it comes back! I am looking forward to a couple of lovely roses in the sun on the deck.

That said, I don't like drinking habitually - I've never been one for 1 or 2 glasses a night, I'd rather have a bottle on a Friday and none for the rest fo the week. (I'm not sure this is a healthier choice!) I'm a bit older and boringer now but I've had some hilarious times on the booze, I don't regret
the many weekends I spent getting hammered my youth at all. I do have a propensity for smoking after about my 3rd large glass of wine which is a bad habit.

I did find some people's attitudes annoying when I was first pregnant and not drinking - it was like they took it personally. "Have a drink, have a drink! Why aren't you drinking??" - really quite aggressively, like they felt by not drinking I was judging them. I hope I've never been like that, it's certainly made me aware of how anniying it must be if you're a non-drinker for whatever reason.

I have been worried about my relationship with alcohol for a while, I've only drank on Saturday nights for 6 weeks now and I was happy with that but when I look at what I drink it's too much in one go.
I really want to stop drinking but I'm
Not sure how. I guess i just don't buy it, I'm a single parent so it's entirely my choice to bring it into the house.

I got to a stage where I realised I wanted to drink less. I'd have usually two glasses of wine (albeit small ones with spritzer) every evening without fail, and much more at social occasions. Months would go by where I would have a drink or two EVERY night.

Over the last few months I have cut back just by thinking of the morning headaches that I was regularly getting, and also the evening sleepiness and lack of energy. Plus realising that the amount of alcohol my family drinks (I guess I took my cues from them) has always been way OTT and contributed to a lot of family issues.

I am finding the less I drink the less I fancy it. But I know I'll never cut out alcohol completely, and wouldn't want to.

I don't want to drink less.

I am a booze snob, if it isn't top shelf I am not drinking it. This is very effective in minimizing my intake because I simply can't afford to drink that much.

I stopped drinking for like two months ago, and feels like an achievement. However, this Holiday season, I am looking forward to the toast of a glass of wine.

I'm in the would like to drink more category!

I drank loads as a teenager and then as a student, and carried on drinking a fair amount throughout my 20s.

My drinking habits changed when I stopped going out as much at the weekend, as I'd never drink as much at home as I used to on a night out; that'd be odd!

I'd still have a fair few drinks if we were out, but not as much as I'd have drunk when I was younger.

A few years ago my weight had crept up to the top end of the 'healthy' BMI bracket, so while I was losing weight I cut out most alcohol (having the occasional vodka and diet lemonade at home, or I'd allow myself a day off from losing weight if we went to the pub on a weekend).

Then, I got pregnant with DD and only had a handful of drinks after the first trimester. Once she was born I rarely drank as I was knackered and wasn't that interested either.

I was only not pregnant for 4.5 months, and again had a handful of drinks after the first trimester.

And now? DS is almost 4 months and I'm dieting HARD to lose the baby weight x 2, so I have had about 3-4 drinks since he was born.

I'll have a few at Christmas, no doubt, as it's my first non-pregnant Christmas in 3 years, but not too many as we've got the kids to look after (and a hangover with a baby and teething toddler does NOT sound appealing!).

I'm looking forward to the day when my diet is over and I can have a couple of drinks a week without considering the calories!

I doubt I'll ever drink as much as I used to, pre-2011 diet, as I've got out of the habit somewhat. Plus our money now goes on stuff for the kids!

My DH has drunk less since I've been pregnant / had the kids too. And has gone out less. Which he doesn't have to, but he feels that it's his way of being supportive. :-)

Wow, that was an essay, sorry!

If you'd talked to me when I was with XH, I would have certainly felt that I wanted to drink less, though I'm not sure I would have said it. He, OK we, opened a bottle of wine most nights. If I didn't share it, he drank the lot. So I felt under pressure to drink some so that he had less.

Not that you could really tell he'd had it, even a bottle, he had the true potential alcoholic's hard head and we were still quite young. But half a bottle a night was way, way too much for me.

DH doesn't drink much, so these days I am quite happy as a rule with what I have. But I am clearly heavily influenced by environment, and a few months ago went out with two young colleagues and got stupid drunk. It shocked me tbh how quickly it happened, I'd forgotten what it was like.

Morloth

Ok, so now I'm thinking that as a non drinker... I may possibly make some people feel uncomfortable.

But again a good comparison would be in the same way vegetarians make people uncomfortable when they see fluffy lambs. Kind of, hmm I should do that, but I don't really want to give up chops, way.

In a normal week I rarely have a drink at all but would like to know how to enjoy a social event, where "everyone" is drinking and dancing without one. I know it should be possible but I do just enjoy myself so much more if I've had a bit to drink and once I've started it will almost always end up being quite a lot, which writes off the next day and that really annoys me.

Honeydragon I think it's perhaps dependant on the people you are with.

I've never felt that I was making any of my drinker friends feel uncomfortable because I don't drink.

They all have known this about me for years and will happily come to my house of an evening to watch a film on our big screen and bring their own bottle.

I don't tend to go out though, I find the town centre tedious and it would cost me around £20 in transport simply to go out of an evening and drink water, which for me seems pointless!

Even when I did go to the pub in my late teens, I never had anyone question my decision.

The only time I've been questioned about it was by dh's family (who are big drinkers), but it was more in a curious way than an uncomfortable way iyswim.

I suspect though that my experience is unusual