To think people should buy presents for volunteers before teachers?

[SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo]

I'm an assistant cub scout leader in a naice part of Surrey. My 'colleagues' and I run a very successful pack and put a lot of time and effort into ensuring that the children have a full and varied experience. Although I know that our parents buy presents for teachers and TAs at Christmas and at the end of other terms, we very rarely get anything. Please don't think I'm grabby, obviously I don't volunteer in order to get anything ('cos obviously I don't anyway!) but AIBU to think that parents should give us the odd token?

As a volunteer, I don't think it's about wanting or expecting gifts (or, at least, it shouldn't be). But it's not unreasonable to hope for some thanks and recognition, however that's expressed. I certainly haven't got any personal advantage from volunteering; it's had a huge impact on my family life, my house is full of Brownie clutter and dealing with the significant minority of difficult parents (never the girls) is very tiring.

Could you tell me what advantages you would get for you, or your family, by volunteering silentalltheseyears? I don't think you should make that statement unless you can.

Frozen, governors are volunteers and I don't imagine they get many presents off parents in the slightest.

I've never known a school Govenor get anything from a family at Christmas! Most people wouldn't even reccognise one of their school governors on the street.

I think it's also unusual for HT's and office staff to receive gifts because they don't spend much time one to one with DC.

As I said, the school admin lady often goes above and beyond for my DD (in the past DSs). I'm sure she's not paid to work from 8am - 4.30pm with no break. She's the one who comforted my sobbing DD when I was late for the mothers day lunch, who waters the plants, finds lost PE when I ask her, gave DS2 seeds in an envelope to plant at home when he told her he was interested in gardening. She's the one who finds lost jumpers, or notices if a child is cold and finds them a spare jumper, holds noses and comforts children during nose bleeds etc (a daily occurrence with DS2 a times). Although she's paid, she full well deserves a small thank you gift from me at the end of each term.

I'm not too sure which of the adults at my son's youth organisation work with his age group - I'd hate to leave somebody out
And group gifts (chocolates eg) don't really work as they don't work together during the day, obviously. Oh well, more for my Christmas list now!

I think a lot of parents are guided by who their kids ask to buy presents for - I know I am.

It must be the mangers getting them things i guess as have seen plenty of pressies for them. Not jealous, they give up their time and work hard! Agree that the first poster should have some thanks too,for running the groups..

I volunteer with children and the advantage for me is seeing children who have little pleasure in their lives having a good time and the company of other children. Presumably people don't lead young people's groups if they don't enjoy it.

Yanbu. I buy big tins of chocs for the Beaver group after days out, Xmas and end of the summer term. I also thank them for looking after the dc's.

I buy little gifts for the 2 admin staff at school, usually funky pens and post-its. They're worth their weight in gold, always reply to my e-mails quickly with the right info and patch the kids up at breaktimes.

I think that's true for most volunteers, Silent, not sure I'd class it as an advantage for my family though, as you suggested in your prevoius post.

It's still be nice to get an occasional acknowledgement of our efforts by way of a thank you from parents/children

Yes, maybe we misconstrued what you meant, Silent, by advantage. We (perhaps) thought you meant personal gain or benefit, whereas you now seem to be talking about job satisfaction.

I used to be a Beaver leader, the present I would have liked best was parents turning up on time! Time of year I suppose triggers the memory of Rememberance Service and standing freezing for 30 or 40 minutes every year waiting for parents to arrive.

I agree with presents being mainly given at primary schools, it doesn't seem to happen at senior schools I know. Maybe that is because they spend time with one teacher most of the week at primary.

Times must have changed a lot since I was at school. I was at primary school between 1975 and 1980. There was the odd Christmas card exchanged between pupils and teacher but that was it. No gifts of any sort. The Headteacher got nothing. And Teaching Assistants weren't even heard of then. It was the same more or less until I left school in 1989.

When did it become fashionable or acceptable for teachers to receive gifts from pupils (save the odd apple)
Probably at the same time end-of-term junior and senior 'proms' arrived on British shores. More bloody American 'culture'...

I agree times have changed vienna - it was never 'common place' to give teachers/teaching assistants presents when I was growing up - but equally as a volunteer Cub Leader I can remember coming home after one Christmas party with over 20 cards and presents from my Cubs . That was iin the 1980s. However as time went on (and I was a Leader for a long time ) - the appreciation got less and less - more like complaints if we weren't able to have a camp for example due to lack of help.

I have never given a present to my child's teacher - I think it personally quite unprofessional for paid employees to accept gifts, certainly in the professions I have worked in we were never allowed to accept gifts.

I continue to give presents to the volunteers in my own child's life - ie: sports coaches etc.

I was at primary school during the early 60s and always gave my teachers Christmas presents. I still have their thank you letters!

Brown Owl here. Verbal thanks would be very much appreciated but is sadly not often received. I sometimes inadvertantly prompt a few Facebook thanks by posting about an activity on our page. And I have a couple of parents who do give presents at Christmas and the end of the year. Usually a box of chocs or biscuits, which go down very nicely with a cup of tea when all us leaders get together over the holidays to plan the following term's exciting activities.

Yes. That's what I meant, which I see as a personal advantage.

Personal advantage - happier person, happier family. At least that's the theory!

Who are you talking to silent?

Its odd as someone else said to me this week how schools are more American these days with gifts, proms, dressing up days, loads of clubs etc etc. not sure if its a good or bad thing? Still, e eryone likes a thank you now and again!

I'm glad you posted this. I never have in the past but made me realise to remember Brown Owl at christmas!

You have a point. What can you get a scout leader though? Bottle of something doesn't seem right..

Why not a bottle of something? Sounds ideal to me.

People seem to have an odd idea of the past. I was teaching in 1975 and certainly most of the class gave me presents.

Melli - I'd probably go for something like a jar of mint humbugs or chocolates. Something they can share between them.