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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to breastfeed on the hard shoulder?

119 replies

Jemima1988 · 14/11/2014 17:02

currently in stand still traffic on the motorway and I have been for over an hour.
I have a screaming baby in the back should u use the hard shoulder?

OP posts:
MrsBennington · 14/11/2014 23:50

Blu "totally gridlocked" I would think that a parent might use their brain and take a chance of feeding baby in the drivers seat if they are really going to be stuck there for hours. Or get off at the next exit and get on with it. Whilst horrible for the parent to hear the baby is really not going to starve to death.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 14/11/2014 23:58

One of my earliest memories is standing in absolutely torrential rain to the side of the car when we broke down on the motorway. Me and my brother kept asking why we couldn't wait in the car.

Blu · 15/11/2014 00:00

The OP had been in completely standstill traffic for an hour.
And presumably could not see the situation changing.

I agree: hard shoulder not a good option.

And that's why the highways patrol people escort anyone in difficulties.

Anyway, hopefully the Op is home now, baby fed, and everyone relaxed and safe.

MrsBennington · 15/11/2014 00:07

Blu if shes been sat for an hour she could have fed the child on her lap!!! Guesing its a PFB

Whippet81 · 15/11/2014 05:22

That's horrid - guessing it's a PFB - I love the idea on here that women shouldn't give a shit. It's a horrid situation to be in.

Hope you are ok OP - absolutely fine to call 101 if you and baby are distressed - they will try and help you if they can.

theladyanneofcleves · 15/11/2014 07:22

Poor old op got a pasting here. She wasn't sure what to do and many of you pounced on her rather than offer sensible advice.
Yes, the baby is unlikely to stave but it is stressful and upsetting esp as we don't know how old etc.
I agree the hard shoulder is out but some of you could have been more empathic.
I also suspect some of you are the first to start shouting on about the harm five mins of controlled crying does to a baby.
Have a heart people fgs.

DizzyKipper · 15/11/2014 07:32

What happened OP? I hope you found a solution and your baby wasn't left crying for too long, it's so stressful when they keep screaming like that. Have some Thanks, I reckon they're needed after that trip.

3boys40 · 15/11/2014 07:42

hope all is well op

slithytove · 15/11/2014 07:54

Illegal to remove baby from car seat. So on balance, I'd ring 101 and not break the law. And babies not on solids can get dehydrated very fast especially if they've been crying.

SmilesandPilesOfPresents · 15/11/2014 07:55

A few years ago there was a story of the police setting up a roadblock on the motorway to rescue a child's stuffed toy

More likely, the camera watching the highways, saw an obstruction, ordered a road block and moved THE HAZZARD out from the road..it wasn't a rescue operation for a toy ffs. The parents and child (if they were there) would have probably has a telling off by the Highways agency or Police about the hazzards of throwing large items out of windows and the possibility of it causing a fatal accident, as accidents tend to be on motorways.

There is no way would they escort someone, or watch traffic so someone could feed their child. Bloody ridiculous.

Gunpowder · 15/11/2014 07:59

I can remember how desperate I felt when newborn DD needed feeding and I couldn't get to her straight away. It can completely take over so you can't think of anything else and cloud your judgement.

I agree the harsher comments were unnecessary. OP I hope you are ok.

RaisingMen · 15/11/2014 08:39

Actually, yes they would HAPPILY escort a distressed mother and a young, hungry baby from the motorway if it was unlikely the traffic would move anytime soon. A newborn baby can become dehydrated quickly. The baby may not have been fed for hours. The temperature may start to drop.
And no, motorway driving is not covered anywhere in the theory or practical part of the driving test.
Some replies on here are bloody horrible. I hope you're ok OP.

hellohelloididntseeyouthere · 15/11/2014 09:17

Why are people being so fucking mean! No wonder the OP hasn't come back

specialsubject · 15/11/2014 12:01

not mean to be horrified that someone has no idea what the hard shoulder is for and how dangerous it is.

I know it will be a bugger to be stuck with a screaming baby, but neither party will die as a result. Using a phone will driving or sitting in a car on the hard shoulder could cause death.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 15/11/2014 12:09

Wow, there really are some nasty people about at the moment. I hope you get bored of MN and find somewhere else to post.

Poor OP. Hope she sorted something out.

MiddletonPink · 15/11/2014 12:15

She was only asking!

And why all the ' get off the phone ' comments?

She's in stand still traffic, hardly texting whilst driving.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 15/11/2014 12:25

There is no way would they escort someone, or watch traffic so someone could feed their child. Bloody ridiculous

Bollocks. I have been escorted from the motorway twice in the last 20 years when traffic has been at a several hour stand still.due to a vulnerable person being in the car.

Its the reason why I tend to avoid motorways now because its a pain in the arse when a 6 hour journey ends up taking 20 hours

littlejohnnydory · 15/11/2014 12:31

OP, YANBU not to know what to do and to ask. I've breastfed on the hardshoulder, not of the mmotorway but the dual carriageway and it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, would never do it again - but had no idea it was as dangerous as people are telling you here so you're not alone in that (disclaimer - I don't drive and the driver didn't know either or at least didn't voice concerns). People are being bloody horrible here - and a tiny baby can not wait hours to be fed. Hope you found somewhere safe to feed your baby.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/11/2014 12:47

Some motorway driving is covered in driving theory, cats eyes /lights etc. I'm almost positive there is a question about hard shoulder, that's the only way I'd know about it (passed 6 years ago.)

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/11/2014 12:52

I've just googled there are lots of motor way questions in the theory testConfused

I can understand some one who has been driving years not being sure though, my mate's test was 15 mins back in the olden daysGrin

juneybean · 15/11/2014 12:56

A lot of judging and assumptions on this thread.

riskit4abiskit · 15/11/2014 13:26

Hope you are ok op and that you all got home safely. Nothing on earth is more stressful than a crying baby when you can't do anything about it

Writerwannabe83 · 15/11/2014 13:29

I've done it twice - only out of pure desperation.

TheIronGnome · 15/11/2014 13:47

Just feed your baby there! If the traffic isn't going anywhere, what's the problem? In complete standstill there will be people getting out of there cars and all sorts, the two minutes it'd take to put your baby back in its seat will be irrelevant. But no, don't use the hard shoulder.

Of course you can use your phone in complete standstill traffic with engines off.

A load of nonsense, judging and scaremongering on this thread.

Tanith · 15/11/2014 14:13

I take it the people huffing about "wasting resources" didn't bother to check the link that Noblegiraffe posted.

If they had, they'd see that the advice to phone for assistance was originally given by a police officer.