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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to move back to london with a baby

61 replies

sandrunner · 13/11/2014 13:24

I miss london. Moved out a year ago to a commuter small town because we had a baby and wanted to afford some space and garden. But I really miss london. I go back to work soon so will be there a bit but is that the same? Maybe it will help.
I'm just a bit bored out here. I go to groups and do love the countryside (nt card has been used a lot) and that has def helped but I just find where we live a bit soulless and depressing :( I miss where I live and the buzz and I think there is tons to do in london with a baby.
What's it like living in london with a baby? Am I mad to even consider it? DH I don't think would go for it so not sure y I'm even posting this or thinking about it! What about when they are older? Those who have chosen to stay whats it like? How do you manage for space? Where do u live in london? Those who moved out any regrets? And if so did they fade? Maybe where we have chosen is just not quite right.

OP posts:
highpavilion · 13/11/2014 14:56

My parents and PILs all live in London and they also enjoy life here, I don't agree that it's a bad place to be elderly (although I wouldn't call my parents elderly just yet!). There are lots of activities for them, they can easily access top hospitals, all of our family are here and I expect they plan to stay here for the rest of their lives.

nickEcave · 13/11/2014 15:02

What a strange idea work. My parents and ILs all live in London and love it. My DH's Aunt moved to London from Northern Ireland when she retired 10 years ago and is having a ball at the age of nearly 75. I think living in London as an elderly person can be completely fine and moving out of London when you are elderly can be a really bad idea, particularly if you move somewhere without good public transport and then become too frail to drive. There are people on my street in their 90s who have lived there their whole lives - why on earth would they consider moving away from everything they know just because they reach a certain age?

Eastwickwitch · 13/11/2014 15:12

Are you sure you're not mourning your life before the baby?
We moved out, very rural, when DS1 was born & I found the first year really hard; new baby, new people, new place and I missed my old friends. I spent a lot of time on the M3 to begin with.
I love going back now for visits but am deeply glad we made the move.

Original poster
sandrunner · 13/11/2014 18:07

Dinky good advice. I think going back to work will be interesting. In the meantime I am trying to make the best of it out here instead of moping. And think of all the reasons we did move here too. Going back to little space would be hard. Can't have everything though!

OP posts:
honeycrest · 13/11/2014 18:28

I feel the same as you OP. My daughter was just 6 months old when we left London to go back to Dublin. We now live in the US and I miss London so much, more than Dublin which is where I'm from. I'm sad that we didn't get to do all the toddler things there that DD would love now. We lived in west London in zone 3 within 5 mins walk of the high street and tube station. A park opposite our flat. It was brilliant.

If we stayed I would have had to go back to work but childcare would have cost nearly all my monthly salary and our rent was £500 pw. It would have been a struggle on our combined salaries at the time.

Chunderella · 13/11/2014 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sandrunner · 13/11/2014 18:57

Eastwick yes I think all those feelings are mixed in there too - for which I feel a bit guilty. I love my ds to bits but I do still mourn for my freedom and life pre him. We moved 1 month before he was due so it was a huge life change and I know I haven't adjusted yet.

OP posts:
Yarp · 13/11/2014 19:07

London is great with children of all ages, IMO

Cost is the only consideration, I'd say

CruCru · 13/11/2014 19:17

I live in N1 (Islington) and love it. I have a three year old and a one year old.

Chunderella · 13/11/2014 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mintyy · 13/11/2014 19:29

I honestly can't think of anywhere better to live with children. £600,000 is a reasonable budget, you will be able to find something (possibly not Crouch End Sad).

London secondaries have really good results these days, better than many outside of the city.

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 13/11/2014 19:31

I would move in a flash if I had your budget. there is nothing to do round here in rain.

go to a shopping arcade? no thanks

go bowling, again

cinema too much ££ and again...

swim again.

no decent museums, everything shut.

so boring in winter!

so much more buzz and life and things going on, every weekend you could have a totally new and different experience...on all sorts of themes..

I thikn its a great place for elerly too.

Phineyj · 13/11/2014 19:34

You could get somewhere nice in Bromley for that sort of money. However, the primary schools are very full. You'd need to be very careful about location.

formerbabe · 13/11/2014 19:39

I live in a very nice but not trendy part of London in zone 3...I love it. Lots of parks..and I can drive in half an hour to a couple of lovely farms. I live near many shopping centres, theatres, museums, cinemas, pools etc.

When I started at uni, I noticed many of the students from the country went a bit more crazy in fresher's week than the London students. I remember not being very impressed with the student bars and clubs as I had been clubbing in London since I was 16... Not sure if that is an advantage or disadvantage though!

notquiteruralbliss · 13/11/2014 20:31

We moved to Buckinghamshire from Stroud Green 12 years ago and I still miss it. If you can move back, do it. I would. Though current plan is yo home yo somewhere edgy but by the sea.

SocialMediaAddict · 13/11/2014 20:36

I live in N10. Born and bred. I could never leave. I love living in London with kids.

I can't believe you left Crouch End! No wonder you miss it.

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 13/11/2014 20:56

cant belive you left CE either.

Original poster
sandrunner · 13/11/2014 21:42

So I had a chat with dh. He was typically rational about it all and outlined all the good things about here and all the bad things about London. I do get that. I just don't think he quite understands how much it matters where u live when u spend 24/7 there. Oh dear. Will hope that going back to work changes my feelings. Thanks everyone for thoughts - been good therapy! Maybe I'll raise subject again in another six months if I still feel down. I really think we made wrong decision at the moment :(

OP posts:
OnlyLovers · 13/11/2014 22:06

Doesn't sound as though you got to put your side froward; or if you did, that he really listened.

I'm sure you could come up with some downsides to the sticks and upsides to London.

thisisnow · 13/11/2014 22:11

I think giving it another 6 months is a good idea. Might give you a better idea of how you really feel.

My 77 year old Aunty lives in Crouch End and takes the piss out of where I live as there is nothing going on haha!

Rabbitcar · 13/11/2014 22:15

Muswell Hill here. Have lived here from when DDs were babies, and are now teens. Come back! If we even mention leaving London, the girls are aghast; we go out locally and to central London all the time, and they say they would be bored anywhere else. And my parents live nearby too. The transport links and good hospitals mean it's great for them too. We love it.

Linguaphile · 13/11/2014 23:58

I'd rather have 3 kids in our two bed London flat than live in the middle of nowhere so that I could have more space and a garden. There's so much to do and see, and all the parks and good schools make up for our lack of a garden.

Just my two cents. :)

Chaseface · 14/11/2014 08:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whois · 14/11/2014 09:03

He was typically rational about it all and outlined all the good things about here and all the bad things about London

Did you outline all the good things about london, and the things you don't like about where you are now?

anotherbitofcake · 14/11/2014 09:07

No I don't think we did our research properly. We just assumed secondaries were crap. It was schools plus not being able to afford much (or rather getting more further out) that made us go. Am feeling really quite down today but trying to keep it in perspective - it's not the end of the world. I just don't want to come across as never happy and grass is always greener as we did both want to move out. Also if it wasn't for dh I would be in a shoebox hovel somewhere so I don't really have a right to complain.