AIBU to not feel sorry for DH

[superbagpuss]

I am a work out of home mother, I leave the house around 7am and am at home about 5/5:30 on a good day. At the weekends i fit in washing/ ironing and taking DC to thier clubs/church etc.

DH does school wrap around care and works 10-2 most week days. His boss has asked if he will work the one day off a week he has. He was thinking this would be a bad thing as he won't have time to wash up, do all those little chores and have a long bath. We already have a cleaner two hours a week to keep the house clean.

AIBU to think that working every day and doing the wrap around care is not worse then working full time with a bad communte? And that most people cope without a free day in the week with no work or DC?

[Dixiechicken]

Yabu, on the 4 days a week he works.

He gets up, gets the kids to school, goes to work. Possibly grabs a sandwich after work before going to pick the kids up, does all the supervising of homework, running to after school activities. Possibly prepares tea for you all, fits in the food shopping.

And on his day off does chores. And you begrudge him a bath. I will assume you get a lunch break, an hour a day he may not get to sit in peace, 5 days a week.

He sounds a lovely man and if a man posted this about their wife I'm sure the responses would be different and the cleaner wouldn't be begrudged.

[rookiemater]

It sounds as if I'm your DH in reverse. I work 4 days a week, 3 of those are school hours and I have one work day off per week. We also have a cleaner.

It's slightly different in that DH doesn't work such long hours - he is out 8-6 and I leave the house at 8 all days to do school run and then get into work for 4 of those days, and I also do pretty much all laundry and meals.

Just because I finish earlier than DH doesn't mean i sit around twiddling my thumbs. Work is flat out from the moment I arrive until when I leave- usually a bit late - dashing up the road to collect DS from school.

I hate making sure there is always milk and groceries in the fridge. It's a royal pita planning and buying meals for the week and I don't like the way you are so dismissive of it.

I love my day off, well my 6 hours by the time I drop off DS and pick him up. I do a few errands and either go to the gym or to Ladies ski morning at our outdoor artificial slope.

Our pay off is that DH goes on more weekends away than I do - he likes walking and meets up with friends, so he is away 5-6 weekends to my 1 weekend. I also try to do most of the child related stuff on Saturdays so he gets a break.

Let him keep his day off if you can afford it, but in return you shouldn't be doing the laundry and all the ferrying at weekends. There should be enough time to do most of that during the week after school pick ups, at least I find time to in between mumsnetting .