Hunger games and sleepover.

[dancestomyowntune]

Dd1 is 11, will be 12 just after Christmas. She has mentioned that her new best friend at secondary school is going to invite her to a birthday party/sleepover in December and a big part of the event will be watching the Hunger Games film. She says it will be fine cos she will be 12 within days of the party.

I don't have a problem with this in itself, however, dd1 is not a child that likes 'scary' films. She is notorious for not liking anything even slightly scary. She won't even watch the early Harry Potter movies. When interviewing with a talent agent one of the first things she said was that she didn't "do scary" and she doesn't like Doctor Who.

I have watched the hunger games myself tonight to see whether it not I felt she could cope with it and I think the whole premise of the film will freak her out.

A few years ago, at another sleepover with a friend they watched a film about a vampire (nothing to scary, it was a U!) but she was terrified afterwards and wouldn't stay away from home at all for for over two years. I do not want a repeat of that!!!

How do I make her realise that she isn't going to like this film and might be better off avoiding it? I know she wants to apear more grown up and she has come on in leaps and bounds recently but this could really upset her and I don't want that!

Betty, I watched The Shining at a friend's house at 11 years old. It traumatised me. I spent the next 6 months sleeping with my Mum. The following 6 months, after my Dad insisted I return to my own room, I slept with every light on in my room and in hall. I lined up all my stuffed animals around my bed as 'protection'. I barely slept 2 hours a night.

I don't watch anything scary to this day. I have to sit in seats that have my back to the wall in public (cafés , etc). This happened nearly 30 years ago and it still has an impact on my life today.

If you have seen the films and think they will freak her out then you are probably right. My DS is nearly 9 and nothing filmwise seems to scare him so I find it hard to know if he'll be ok or not. The Hunger Games films are ok IMO but the dogs at the end are a bit scary I think.

He is pestering me to watch The Hunger Games but I think I would prefer him to read it first as I think he will only see it how his own imagination allows rather than the images on the screen IYSWIM. Are they all rated 12A now?

The third film is allegedly much more gruesome than the first two. There are mutant creatures eating dead bodies at one point apparently. It's to be expect though, the last book is much darker and gory than the first. If she's as bad as you say, I'm certain she won't enjoy it.

I don't know the birthday girls mum and would never ask her to change the film. That's ridiculous in the extreme.

Tbh I am using the idea of watching the third one to test the waters as an excuse as I quite fancy watching it! I am currently reading the books myself and just think books are so much more explanatory than films. I am hoping to persuade her to read them but I'm not holding out much hope, she's not someone who reads for pleasure anyway! (Unlike me... sometimes I wonder if she is even my child!)

She has now sat through most of the first film and hasn't seemed to be too upset by it. And I get the feeling from talking to her that her friends have been discussing the series in great detail so she seems to understand the general idea.

I think she will go, as we have tried to dissuade her and she is all the more Adamant that she isn't a baby anymore. We have warned her. There isn't much else I can do!

As for watching a film before taking her to see it we did this with Alice in wonderland (a film I thought she'd find scary) and then when she watched it we could warn her of the scary bits. She was fine, so maybe I am over thinking it.

Kids are odd sometimes - we can never say what'll freak them out or not.

My dn can deal quite comfortably with distressing ideas or concepts (a la hunger games) but I managed to traumatise her with pirates of the caribbean.

I agree this is OTT. Either let her go or not. She'll be bloody terrified after all the 'research'! Even if she is scared you might find she deals with it and moves on which is what most normal kids would do.

My dd is exactly the same so you have my sympathy. Most people don't get that some kids are genuinely terrified. Dd won't watch dr who. She won't read lemony snickett because the parents die in a fire and she has only in the last month decided to read and watch harry potter. She's 13.

She has watched the hunger games though. She read the books last year because all her friends did and has watched the first film with me. She just shuts her eyes for the worst bits. A bit of peer pressure goes a long way!

She did turn down a Halloween sleepover in case they watched a horror film. It turns out they watched Blair witch! This was a sleep over for 12 yos!

The books might be worse, they deliberately slaughter children in a square in the last book.

But, she's 12. I think you're doing the right thing by watching the first two with her so she knows what to expect. You can livestream it for free on the internet before she goes to see if there's anything you need to prep her for.

She might actually be ok. I was terrified of the 1960's godzilla as a child, but by the time I was older scary movies didn't phase me. Now I find them boring because they rely on the audience already being afraid and lack plot.

Maybe giver her some coping techniques, like grounding. How to distract herself if she gets nervous. Most importantly, she can call you at any time to come get her so she always has a lifeline. :)