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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Go the Shitting FUCK to sleep!

74 replies

Toofattorun · 12/11/2014 20:08

I swear to God, I could throttle my kids right now...
I put them to bed 40 minutes ago now and they just can not fucking shut up. They're in and out of bed, arguing, the lights are on and off...

I get the same shit every night. I feel like going out for a drive and screaming til I lose my voice.

OP posts:
MollyHooper · 14/11/2014 21:39
Artandco · 14/11/2014 21:42

Wow, I haven't even thought about putting kids to bed yet, although just seen it's gone half 9. I admit we tend to leave then up as late as they like fri/ sat eves as then we all get a long lie in bed in the morning.

Ds (4) is currently doing a puzzle with dh and bil. Ds (3) is covering every teddy with stickers.

buffythemuffinslayer · 14/11/2014 21:45

Scarf away Molly - I hear it's a superfood. Drowns out car alarms, good for the soul, full of nutrients!

WellThatsLife · 14/11/2014 21:47

Try a 12yr old on high dose steroids who didn't get to sleep til after 1:30 last night. she came down in floods of tears at 1 because she just wanted to sleep,still hopefully only 2 more days then i can get to sleep at a reasonable hour

MollyHooper · 14/11/2014 21:54

One of your 5 a day too! Or is it 9 a day now? Who cares, cheers!

I hope your DD has a better night tonight WellThats. Sounds rotten, poor sausage. :(

NinjaLeprechaun · 14/11/2014 22:05

Last night he was up till 11pm! 11!
Mine at that age would regularly not sleep until after midnight. I didn't even start bedtime until at least 9, because any earlier and it just prolonged the my misery.

One memorable night, I was told that 'you're breaking my heart!' because I wouldn't let her get out of bed. I informed her that if she was going to make statements like that, she would be required to press the back of her hand to her forehead - it was said in appropriately heart-wrenching wail though, so there's that..

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 14/11/2014 22:14

Toof I am roaring at i shall look forward to him pissing the bed later Grin

Funny cos its true unfortunately

My DD was ill the other night. Woke me up at 3.30am to say she felt sick. Got into my bed and fell asleep. I am, unfortunately an emetophobe so spent the rest of the night wide awake waiting for a sick torrent that never came!

ShadyMyLady · 14/11/2014 22:21

I'm quite shocked by this thread if I'm honest. I must be insanely lucky as I never have this, occasionally dd2 (4) will get up once or twice, and will sometimes resist going to bed. But she is always asleep by 7.30.

Ds (18mo) has never had problems going down, he's fast asleep by 6.30, he woke at 3am every night for a year but this last week has started sleeping a solid 12 hours.

And dd1 who's 10 takes herself off to bed at 7/7.30 every night. She's never got out of bed, it's just not something she's ever done. She stays up at the weekend but is still fast asleep by 8.30. She held her eyes open with matchsticks to watch children in need until 9 tonight, but then strolled off to bed.

Think I need to start counting my blessings...

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 14/11/2014 22:25

Christ alive Shady! Do you surround their beds with mouse traps Grin

Artandco · 14/11/2014 22:26

Shady - ah but what time will you be up tomorrow? Mine have just gone to sleep 5 mins ago. They will sleep until 10/11am. Perfect as then will be happy tomorrow night as have plans to eat out restaurant booked for 8pm.

ShadyMyLady · 14/11/2014 22:32

Not mouse traps puds, I find barbed wire works best Grin.

See I didn't mention mornings did I?! Ds used to always be up at 5, but a week of sleep training and it's now 6.30. Dd2 is awake at 6 but I got her a gro clock last week and she's managed to stay in bed until 7 every morning until the novelty wears off and dd1 gets up whenever I wake her, she's a lazy toad. I took her to the doctors when she was 6 as I wad worried she was sleeping too much Confused

girliefriend · 14/11/2014 22:39

Love the Samuel L Jackson link so funny!!

I can't imagine there are many mums out there who haven't at some point muttered 'just go the fuck to sleep' to their darling offspring Grin I think I was muttering it 6 weeks in Shock

Luckily dd (8yo) is quite good at going to bed but if she has a mate over then its another story.....

Norfolkandchance1234 · 14/11/2014 22:40

DS (9) has just this minute gone to bed, would prob be up later if a significant piece of Lego wasn't missing from a set he's building. DD (7) finally took herself to bed about 10. I blame half term and late night bonfire and halloween parties. All out of sync. Mine didn't have dinner till 7.30 last night because of after school club then straight to other clubs or a party in DS case. During which I disappeared to go to the cinema so god knows what time they really went to bed. Looking forward to a much needed lie in.

MrsFlorrick · 14/11/2014 23:01

Yes. This often happens chez florrick. Lots of pissing around for hours. Jumping on each other's beds and running amok. Hmm

They are 5 and 3. And amazingly they were shattered tonight and actually went to fucking sleep. Oh sweet joy. Grin

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 14/11/2014 23:26

My DD is currently asleep under her cabin bed, give that kid a hidey hole, she'll sleep in it.

Iwasnevermaryalwaysashepherd · 14/11/2014 23:27

My 3 sons were terrible sleepers - the youngest is now expecting my first grandchild- payback time - love the Samuel Jackson link- have just ordered the book from Amazon for him- will give him something to read in those early hours x

Pipbin · 14/11/2014 23:40

Not that I'm saying that this is what you should do but when I was little if I went downstairs after bedtime the I met with the business end of a carpet beater.

Not the way forward though. It worked mind.

RumbleMum · 14/11/2014 23:42

You all have my sympathy. We've been pretty lucky with our two but DS1 (4) goes through patches of quite creative bedtime prevarication.

Back in the spring, he started howling about ten minutes after bedtime. DH went up to investigate and DS wailed "I need a wee and a poo and a gin and tonic!"

Yes, well, that's how I feel every morning son. Grin

Discopanda · 14/11/2014 23:53

Mine wouldn't sleep tonight either, she ended up falling asleep on my lap whilst watching Masterchef

deste · 15/11/2014 00:00

My friends granddaughter kept getting up and turning on the lights so she took the bulbs out.

Theorientcalf · 15/11/2014 04:03

I've just bought the 'Go the Fok to Sleep' book for DH as he's currently sitting on our 2 year old's bedroom floor. I'm bf our 3 month old, no sleep in this house!

PoppyFleur · 15/11/2014 06:20

I have cried with laughter at some of the responses on this thread, parents I take my hats off to you! My parents could have written half of these responses as I was a dreadful sleeper.

My DS has taken after DH & loves his bed, asleep by 7.30pm each night however he has taken after me in that he is an early riser, about 5 - 5.30am is the norm.

Lie in's? What are they?

ninetynineonehundred · 15/11/2014 07:53

I feel for you all. An evening like that would finish me off although last night baby woke up at least 8 times and dd1 woke me up 3 times then all up at 6:50 which is a major lie in.
Nighttime parenting sucks.

Original poster
Toofattorun · 16/11/2014 23:32

My DS took two hours to go the shitting fuck to sleep tonight....my god, will it ever end...?

I have a sore throat so I can't even follow through with my OP (the screaming part not the throttling the kids part!)

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