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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About ds's christmas school nativity?

112 replies

Hurricaneinateacup · 12/11/2014 17:46

Oh yes, it's that time of year again.

Ds (5 and year 1) was away last week when they started rehearsing and gave out parts. He came home with a note in his diary on friday saying he was a sheep. He was happy being a sheep, I was planning in my mind how to make a sheep costume, fine.

On Monday he came home with a note saying he was now a king and also with a few lines to practice. Ds was quite pleased, although he hasn't minded being a sheep either, and started practicing his lines. He was quite proud that he had learnt them very quickly and talked about his king costume and crown.
He told me the original king was now a sheep because he couldn't behave and listen to the teacher.

On Tuesday original king's mother was complaining on playground over her child's demotion to sheep. Sigh. She said she was going to go and see the teacher.

The upshot of this is that ds is now a sheep again. I'm slightly pissed off even though I know it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. However where ds was originally perfectly content with his sheep role, he now feels slightly disappointed that he won't have any lines. I appreciate this is how the original king must have felt but he lost his role because he was being a pain. Ds has lost his role because original king's mother has kicked up a fuss.

It's vaguely amusing written down but I am cross!

OP posts:

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/11/2014 10:15

I laughed out loud at King Juan, and Inkypatoo!

When ds2 and ds3 were at playgroup together, ds2 was Joseph in the nativity play, and ds3, as one of the youngest children, was a sheep. On the day, he burst into tears, and would only perform if dh went and sat on the stage so ds3 could sit on his lap - and even then he was the saddest little lamb in the flock.

I think Hurricane should have a word with the teacher. One child had his role in the play taken away for bad behaviour, but her son did nothing wrong and had the role taken away from him. This is very unfair. The teacher caused this situation by her actions - taking the part away from the first boy as a punishment, and then found herself getting flack for that from the boy's mum - and she should have found a way to sort the situation out without penalising another child for her cock-up - and that is the point I would be making to her!

She could have written a new part in the play for Hurricane's ds, or she could have stood up to the first mum and told her that her child had misbehaved and lost his part as a result, and that she isn't going to reward him and his mum by giving the part back.

AlexD72 · 13/11/2014 10:42

The teacher does not know anything about emotional development. I KNOW it's a big bad world out there and children can't be wrapped in cotton wool (sheep or not!) but what was she thinking?
It could have been an absolute disaster if you then decided you wanted DS to be a King as he had been given the part.
I hope your DS is a brilliant sheep! Sounds like the stress of the Nativity play is already getting to teacher!
Make a little crown for DS costume.

BoomBoomsCousin · 13/11/2014 10:48

I think it would be a good idea to let the teacher know the impact of her actions. Not to push for a different role (though getting a King Sheep part for him could entertain the parents and out you to any other MNers in the audience ) but to help her improve in the future.

I was an 8 year old go-go dancer in one of my nativities. Coconut bra and grass skirt. but I suspect it was a less boring show for the parents than the nativities I've sat through so far.

Betsy003 · 13/11/2014 10:50

I find it hilarious. DS also has moved roles three times because a couple of kids wanted his role. He is now an animal too. A king animal of course

Sadly the teacher has favourites and we are now stuck for two years with the teacher giving priority treatment to certain kids. I'm just biding my time till we get to the next class which is led more professionally.

upduffedsecret · 13/11/2014 10:52

Back when I was in nativity plays in the 70's, only blonde girls could be angels. When my hair turned brown (I was about 6) I was a shepherd (teatowel on my head, dressing gown with ladybird buttons... lol)

One girl in my class was due to be a shepherd, until her mother went nuts at the school because her daughter apparently should be Mary as she was by far the prettiest girl in the class... she was Mary. I dont remember who was originally chosen for the part (the one girl got everything, so I could probably guess) but I still laugh at that mother, 35 years on!

Hullygully · 13/11/2014 10:54

Just tell him they are all tosspots, the world is full of them and the important thing is to rise above.

RiverTam · 13/11/2014 10:57

really, these kings aren't very regal, are they - where is their retinue? I was a page boy (girls' school) to one of the kings, king got to wear king stuff and say stuff, I got to carry the present (and wear a frilly blouson and black tights). It was great.

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 13/11/2014 11:19

OP I think you should say something to the teacher. The first boy lost the part due to his behaviour, your DS has done nothing wrong yet may be wondering if he has because he has now lost the part.

I agree with a pp, the teacher needs to know the impact her actions have had.

Floggingmolly · 13/11/2014 12:53

Why would you bide your time on that, Betsy? Show your son you're able and willing to stand up for him! That's 3 times worse than op's situation, and not hilarious at all...

attheendoftheday · 13/11/2014 13:49

Dd1 is only at preschool so I have all this to come, but I would be going in to speak to the teacher too. I fear may be that parent.

Poor mournful sheep!

Jill2015 · 13/11/2014 15:35

I was Mary once.... Joseph fell off the stage whilst we were going to the inn and broke his leg and cut open his forehead, cue lots of blood and everyone went home...

my moment was lost forever...

Aww, I'm laughing, but it must have been disappointing at the time.
OP, sorry to hear what happened with your little guy. Bet he will be the best sheep ever though!

Jill2015 · 13/11/2014 15:36

Oops, I should have said ^^ I'm laughing at the 'frustrated drama queen' comment, not at the child getting injured!

manchestermummy · 13/11/2014 15:46

DD1 was Mary in YR. To my eternal shame, I didn't believe her when she told me as she was going through a bit of a fanciful phase at the time. School provided the costumes so I wasn't really involved with any preparations.

I was and and all sorts of when she marched on with the baby Jesus.

One of the other mothers announced in the playground that her daughter was "absolutely devastated" not to be Mary, and would my daughter cope with the pressure after dd1 had had a bit of a breakdown at a birthday party the previous week.

You remember Nativities though, don't you. I still remember who got to be Mary at ours. And that I was such a fat child my mother had to specially make my angel costume

AlexD72 · 13/11/2014 19:24

Hullygully..... So true so true!!!!!!!!

MrsHathaway · 13/11/2014 19:38

There were 34 kings the year DS1 did Curious Sheep.

It isn't good classroom management to set children against each other for punishment

I don't think it would be U to mention to the teacher that DS is a bit puzzled and a bit disappointed, but that you've tried to explain it to him. I'd be worried the coward daft ha'p'eth teacher would use this method again and further unsettle the class!

Also... It's fucking November

3boys40 · 13/11/2014 20:24

I am still cross about lasts year nativity being dominated by two children who do alot of theatre. 2 other kids had one solo and the 80 kids had about a line each.

ChippyMinton · 13/11/2014 20:42

When DS1 was in Reception , a few of us mums had a night out and were comparing which parts their PFBs had in the nativity. Joseph, a king, chief shepherd...DS1 was a chicken

Unbeknown to us, the chicken turned out to be a cockerel and was the main part with a solo spot .

Marcipex · 13/11/2014 20:47

I remember well when only blondes could be angels.

And only boys could be shepherds.

And it was the same girl playing Mary every year.

So us riffraff had to be choir. Again.

o0 · 13/11/2014 20:59

My DS is a narrator. Everyone knows the smart ones get narrator.

Don't burst my bubble!

Floggingmolly · 13/11/2014 21:00

It's true, oO,

o0 · 13/11/2014 21:02

I knew it!

I'll now ignore anyone else who posts to disagree.

Only1scoop · 13/11/2014 21:05

Teacher sounds weak

Only1scoop · 13/11/2014 21:07

My dd is narrator....with only 5 words to say.... maybe ill become a playground nightmare and nab big 'M' for next year

Sidge · 13/11/2014 21:08

DD3 was so chuffed last year to be Mary.

Until she realised that Mary has no lines, and just sits there with a sheet on her head holding a plastic baby dolly.

She was the most bored, eye-rolling Mary the school had ever seen I reckon

PiperIsOrangePumpkins · 13/11/2014 21:08

One of my biggest pet hates of parenting is when people don't follow through with punishments.

I would have words with the teacher, this is not on.

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