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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to never wash my dd's comforter?

47 replies

minidisco · 12/11/2014 17:22

My 1year old has a teddy that has horns, and she sucks the horns throughout the day when she is upset, plus she uses it as a sleep aid. She has done this for about 6 months, and I have obviously washed it several times during this period! Normally when I wash it, I replace it with one of the spares, as I have a further two identical teddies. However, over the last month she has rejected the other two, and will only have the manky, smelly one! When I give her a clean one, she gives it a cursory suck and flings it over her shoulder \out of the cot, and howls for the dirty one. I have tried keeping the two clean ones in her cot, plus in bed with me so that they smell familier. I have also (can't believe that I am admitting this!) put baby milk in my mouth and then sucked the horns of the clean teddy's, to make it smell right . She still rejects them!

So, aibu to not wash the original teddy, but spray it daily with an antibacterial spray that can be used on toys?

OP posts:

Original poster

minidisco · 12/11/2014 20:10

She is crying her eyes out in her cot I feel so bad for her! I wish I had never encouraged her to have a comforter now!

OP posts:

ShutUpLegs · 12/11/2014 20:16

Don't beat yourself up about it. The comfort mine both got from their mussies far outweighed the tussles over washing. DD2 is 6 and still loves her mussie at bedtime and still whinges about the clean ones not smelling right.

Honestly, try the three rotation thing. It worked really well for us.

Honsandrevels · 12/11/2014 20:17

Give her the smelly one and swap when she is asleep.

catsdogsandbabies · 12/11/2014 20:44

Give her the stinky one! My 18m old is never without his rabbit. It has been sicked on, grabbed by the dog and dropped in puddles. Spares are rejected completely whatever I do. So I now and again chick in the wash and tumble dry. He doesn't like it but prefers clean manky rabbit to spare rabbits so takes it back and the cycle begins again.,.. Germs are good for kids, can't believe all this anti-bacterial bollocks! They eat mid ffs!

catsdogsandbabies · 12/11/2014 20:44

Mud even

Littlefish · 12/11/2014 20:49

I used to wash and rotate dd's favourite toy every day with one of the two spares. Firstly because she used to suck its ears and it got really manky very quickly. By washing it every day it meant that it never built up a particular smell for her to get attached to.

By the time she realised that there were actually 3 identical ones, she was old enough to understand that her toy needed to be washed, and could get involved in the washing process (I think she was about 3 years old when this happened).

bigTillyMint · 12/11/2014 20:49

Give her the stinky one, poor little thing

I agree with catsdogs, my DS is as strong as an ox, is never ill and ate sand/paint as a toddler as well as having a truly manky cloff

mewkins · 12/11/2014 21:01

I think you have to bite the bullet and wash it anf then rotate and wash every other dayso that she ggets used to the clean one. We had similar with a beloved blankie - one night dd was sick in her bed and all over the blankie so had no choice but to accept a new clean one.

SnowInWinter · 12/11/2014 23:20

The only (minor) success I had washing dd's comforters was to wash in the bath or in the machine with no powder/fabric conditioner. It was easier when she was younger but still a struggle. But as she got older she got worse. She would pine in front of the machine until the cycle was finished then cry like i'd murdered them because they smelled funny (even without powder!)
I bought a replacement many years ago but that just got adopted alongside the first one so that's why she has 2.
The Rotation comforters I bought are still in the cupboard!!

I have long since given up trying to wash the bloody things now, unless its absolutely unavoidable ie dropped down the loo/in cat food bowl, She accepts then, she has no choice!!
Yes they are pretty manky but my only saving grace is that she doesn't suck them (sucks her thumb instead!)
She is 11 and not showing any signs of giving them up any time soon.

Original poster

minidisco · 12/11/2014 23:21

She finally went to sleep without it, but after a lot of crying I haven't put it in the wash yet, as i had to do a load of school uniforms, so I may cave during the early hours if she is breaking her heart for it!

Could she get seriously ill from it not being washed? Does anyone no?

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Bakeoffcakes · 12/11/2014 23:31

Next time wash it first thing in the morning, then it should be ready for bed time in the evening.

My dd has a blanket, she's 20 and still sleeps with it in her bed, ALL her friends still have their "comforters" so she's not the only one. (She's in her second year at uni)
She never sucked it though so I didn't have to wash it too much. She did suck her thumb so I'm sure she's had her fair share of germs- they all do.

steppemum · 12/11/2014 23:49

ok, it was a mistake to wash it at bedtime before she was asleep, but we've all been there, you live and learn.

dd2 has a manky comforter, and no alternative. There were times when it HAD to be washed (vomit etc) and so she knew that if it was wet, we would put it on the radiator and she could have it as soon as it was dry. She actually could get that from an early age, because she could feel the wet and put it on a the radiator. It was washed regularly and she got used to it. Interestingly the clean smell obviously had enough of a manky undercurrent, that she accepted it clean as soon as it was dry.

I didn't wash ds toy, because he never sucked or chewed it. It was the ear sucking that made washing essential.

Quick, put it in the wash, get it dry by morning.

bigTillyMint · 13/11/2014 06:53

minidisco, IMHE she will not get sick from it. DS's was vile most of the time and as I said above, he is as strong as an ox!

PenguinBear · 13/11/2014 07:00

Potentially she could get ill yes. But it's only a might.... She might or she might not! Same as you might catch a cold by someone sneezing right next to you but again you might not!

I would wash it. Maybe give her all three after they're clean and she can 'pick' one from there :)

Crazeeladee · 13/11/2014 07:11

It might not be the taste or smell she doesn't like, but the shape? If she has been sucking on the same ears for ages, new ones will feel very different to suck, as she will be used to how the normal one feels in her mouth. Try grabbing the old one when she's asleep and tumble drying it as others have said.

Original poster

minidisco · 13/11/2014 08:45

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the advice! I ended up giving it to her at 3am as she was so desperate for it, and was sobbing uncontrollably I will try the suggestion of washing it in her bath with her, and then putting it on the radiator so she can see it!

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mewkins · 13/11/2014 19:38

She probably won't get sick from it but if she can't get used to it being clean then if she is ever sick on it you will be scuppered as it will definitely need a wash then!

IndridCold · 13/11/2014 19:45

DS's Gromit has never been washed with no ill effects, even though his nose was sucked occasionally. He is 15 now (same age as DS obvs).

IndridCold · 13/11/2014 19:46

He has had the odd wipe over with a wet wipe, now I think about it...

MiaowTheCat · 13/11/2014 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsRambo · 13/11/2014 22:40

My DD sucks the ear of a bunny to get herself to sleep. We have several of these and rotate them. What helps her adjust to a clean one is for me to wet the ear of a clean bunny with a bit of water before giving it back. It seems to help that she doesn't have to start from scratch again in getting it nice and soggy....

I know, I know it's going too far ..... please don't scream at me all ye comforter haterz

Original poster

minidisco · 13/11/2014 23:48

Ha ha I have actually tried sucking the horns of the giraffe that my dd uses myself, to encourage her to use the spare! Unfortunately she can't be fooled! The things we do!

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