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AIBU?

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Original poster

Toilet passes

57 replies

itsaknockout · 12/11/2014 16:24

My DD is 9.her school don't allow the children to go to the toilet in lesson times-fine.At break and lunch times if they want to go, they have to ask the teacher on duty , who will issue a toilet pass if there is no-one from their class in the toilet ie there is one girls pass and one boys pass for each class.
AIBU to think this is a bit demeaning .There should be a time they are allowed to go without having to ak permission?

OP posts:
blackeyedsusie · 12/11/2014 23:07

info

Original poster
itsaknockout · 13/11/2014 09:26

'Seriously?
You've clearly never set foot in a school/classroom yourself then. '

yes I have been to school for 14 years funnily enough, and I have my own Dc at school for 15 years and never before have they had to ask if they want to go at the correct time.

PIPBIN Once you've removed you 5th toilet roll that has been shoved down the loo then shat on you will understand the need.

why won't this happen if they go one at a time?

REESEWITHOUTHERSPOON along with rights come responsibilities. The children have the responsibility to behave appropriately and treat the facilities with respect. If that hasn't been happening then a strategy (like the toilet passes) needs to be put in place. The school could have said that the children can't use the toilet at all during lessons but they haven't.

some of the boys did some expensive damage, my DD hasn't, nor have any of the girls.so where have they failed in their responsibilities? punished?
And the school have said they can't use the toilet in lesson times!!!

OP posts:
threepiecesuite · 13/11/2014 09:46

OOAOML I'm always understanding of girls with period problems, most often they have a note from mim which they quickly flask to me, saving the embarrassment of explaining.
You do get some girls though who claim to be 'on' every week.

My own daughter has an overactive bladder so i try to be as sympathetic as I can. Often, telling them that teachers can't just go when we want either helps them understand a little better.

LocalEditorWiganandSalford · 13/11/2014 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OOAOML · 13/11/2014 10:05

When I was at high school we had to go and sign a book in the office if we got out of class to go to the loo. I was once in a group of people called in because I had signed it several times. We were all girls. I don't know about the others, but my entries would have shown a very obvious pattern if anyone had thought about it. I would have been mortified at having to tell a teacher I wanted to go because of my period though.

Pipbin · 13/11/2014 10:06

why won't this happen if they go one at a time?

Because there is no fun if there is just one of you. And, if something does happen then you can work out who it was.

As for thinking that having been to school and having children in a school qualifies you to talk about what goes on in a school - jog on.
I've been to doctors and hospital loads but I don't claim to understand the finer workings of a hospital.

Pipbin · 13/11/2014 10:08

And as for using the loo in lesson time. Saying no when it is older children is fairly common practice.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 13/11/2014 10:14

On the surface it seems ridiculous and mean, but when you read some of these posts Shock. I've never come across any of that behaviour, but if schools are having those problems you can see the need for such heavy handed restrictions.

OP - why not ask the school why it's necessary?

OOAOML · 13/11/2014 10:18

I don't think that having been a child qualifies me as an expert in what happens in a school - but I thought we were all just offering our own opinions and experience? No need to use terms like 'jog on'.

Pipbin · 13/11/2014 10:19

Sorry but I get so fed up with people thinking that because they have been to school they can tell teachers how to do their jobs.

FlyntCoal · 13/11/2014 10:25

I started my periods at age 9. I had to change pads every hour or so, still do with both tampon and towel. Not being allowed to use the toilet on breaks would have destroyed me.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 13/11/2014 10:27

I can agree with toilet passes as my kids school had the paper towel down the loo thing, and when ds1 was five another boy strangled him in the toilets as more than one child was allowed to go at a time.

But I cant agree with not going during lessons. What would happen if you couldn't get the pass at break time, hold a full bladder for two hours until lunch? How is a five year old meant to do that without having an accident?

Floggingmolly · 13/11/2014 10:29

But they are allowed to go to the toilet at the right time, op Confused
Nobody is being denied access to the loos; they're just being kept track of by the teacher instead of wandering in packs freely about the building.

Pipbin · 13/11/2014 10:29

Most places I know that have the 'no toilet during lessons' rule have it for year 3 upwards.

upduffedsecret · 13/11/2014 11:35

wow... I'd have peed myself right up until I was about 10, then. when I have to go, I have to go! fortunately, I was trusted enough to be allowed to go if I needed to.

RhiWrites · 13/11/2014 12:56

I think it's outrageous not to let anyone use the loo when they need to. A form of torture, to be honest. This system sounds terrible.

CrohnicallyAnxious · 13/11/2014 13:01

upduffed you'd have had an exemption for medical reasons then.

rhiwrites in that case let me tell my boss. I work in a school and I generally need to wait until I'm not teaching a group of children to go to the toilet. In other words, I wait till break/lunch and occasionally I don't even get chance then!

threepiecesuite · 13/11/2014 13:49

Torture? There are many.many jobs out there where it is not possible to go to the toilet as and when you want to.
In fact, every job I've worked in has been one of them, eg. retail, transport, teaching.
Each teaching session in our school is 1 hour 40 minutes and we cannot go to the toilet during that time. Yes, a bit inconvenient sometimes but certainly not torture.

Pipbin · 13/11/2014 14:15

Torture?
What do you do when you are driving up the motorway and your child needs the toilet? You ask them to wait. Or on the bus? Or on the walk to school? Or in town and you are nowhere near public toilets.

Most jobs require you to hold on. What about bus, lorry and taxi drivers? Toll booth workers? Retail staff? Train drivers? Teachers? Nurses?

And what about the other thread about not letting 'workmen' use the toilet in your house. Many people seem to think that is ok. No cry of torture there.

Most schools I know don't allow KS2 and up to go during lessons. If they have a medical reason then yes, and of course the teacher uses discretion.

greenbananas · 13/11/2014 14:51

blackeyedsusie - great link.

I once heard from my nieces that the local mosque school had banned children from going to the loo during lessons (because of too much messing about and skiving). I wasn't sure if this was okay, seemed cruel to me, so I rang the County Education Dept to ask. That very evening, the kids at mosque school were allowed to use the loo during lessons again, "because somebody's aunt complained".

I had no idea that children weren't allowed to go to the loo during lessons in mainstream primary schools!! Good grief, how unfair!

Supervision is a good idea, knowing who is in there is a good idea, checking the loos regularly is a good idea... but how would we feel if we weren't allowed to go for a couple of hours at a time at work??

ReeseWithoutHerSpoon · 13/11/2014 15:14

itsaknockout you have replied to my post that said what you didn't want to hear, yet you have ignored my post after that where I apologised for misreading your OP.

Pipbin · 13/11/2014 15:25

but how would we feel if we weren't allowed to go for a couple of hours at a time at work??

Call centre staff have to log in and out for a toilet break. If they spend 'too long' in the loo then they have to justify it.

greenbananas · 13/11/2014 15:53

Pipbin, I know - I have worked in many a call centre and crappy office environment, the sort where you have to log in and out to go the loo. Repeated visits are frowned on, and of course you have to justify it if you take the mick, but nobody is not allowed to go - adults are able to make their own decisions about the needs of their own bodies!

Maybe a similar system would work for children? They could make their own decisions, and justify this (quietly) to teachers if necessary. That way, children would know they are accountable, would be able to discuss health needs if appropriate, would be less likely to think they can get away with repeated skiving, staff would still know who had been in the loos.... not sure how you would administer this though, short of giving all the children ID cards!

lemoncurd20 · 13/11/2014 16:03

I feel sorry for the children, we had 2 boys and 2 girls toilets attached to each classroom and there was only 4 classes and 80 students.

Jessica85 · 13/11/2014 16:11

how would we feel if we weren't allowed to go for a couple of hours at a time at work??

There are loads of jobs where that is the case, as has been stated repeatedly in the thread. Today, in fact, I needed the toilet 30 mins into a 1hr40 minute lesson. So I had to wait. I guess I could have left 25 teenagers in a lab unsupervised, but that probably wouldn't have been a good idea. My own bloody fault of course, I should have gone at break!

In an ideal world all students could be trusted to go to the toilet only when they needed it, to be as quick as possible, and to leave it in as clean a state as they found it. Sadly this is not the case.