Husband making formal without levelling off scoop

[zeddybrek]

Hi All

I have gone totally mental at DH. Our PFB is now exclusively formal fed and I saw my husband make up his feed for the first time by chance. He didn't level off each scoop and instead roughly guessed it.

When I saw this I went completely mad and told him off and he thinks I am being precious.

Can you lovely ladies please tell me if measuring out the exact formula is really that important or am I being pedantic for wanting to follow instructions on how to make up a feed properly.

I'm so angry at him just for his laziness.

TIA

You must be pretty damn perfect if you get to be so judgemental about him.

Grockle a new mother worrying about her first baby is not judgmental. It's normal.

I once caught DH doing 'formula bombs' when making PFB's bottles I just explained why too much was dangerous and he stopped (I know fine well he thought I was over-reacting but went along with it anyway). He had been making most of her bottles so don't know how long it had been going on for but she's a thriving 6 yo now if that helps at all!

never leveled my formula of... mine are 15 and 12.. they survived.

Its formula not drugs that need to be counted to the last ml.

You must be pretty damn perfect if you get to be so judgemental about him.

Or tired and, well, normal

If the scoops are not levelled properly and too high the baby is at risk of becoming dehydrated. the instructions are there for a reason!
If husband can't or won't follow them properly tell him not too bother.

You're not being pedantic but try not to go too batshit at him.

We used C&G purely because it had a little plastic thing in the corner so you could level off the scoop easily with one hand. Now THAT is laziness! (In my defence, the second hand was permanently full of baby back then.)

I'm actually quite surprised at the replies. If she'd posted about him making up formula in advance or watering it down or not measuring the water properly everyone would be in agreement.

How would you feel of your drs just roughly guessed the dose when mixing up medicine?

The quantities matter. Babies can get ill

OP - I've had the EXACT same argument with my husband. I went bonkers...It's not hard, why not just do it?

Can you imagine if this thread was reversed? "I saw my wife not levelling the scoops off in the formula and went mental at her and told her off and am so angry at the lazy bitch"... the replies would all be how fucking dare you you total bastard. Not a single one would say: yeah she is a lazy cow isn't she, you're totally right. Is she this shit at everything?

So he got it wrong. No excuse for the reaction.

Giles I only stopped making up bottles in advance with my third child and I bet I'm not the only one. As Grockle said he obviously didn't know about levelling it off exactly. It was a mistake.
Shouting at him and not even being able to look at him is an overreaction.

I think you maybe need to take a breadth and chill a little. Heaped instead of levelled is not going to do your babe any harm. my dh was completely crap and gung ho about it too but never had problems, now all big strapping teenagers. babies especially pfb are stressful, be kind to each other, get some sleep (and pick your fights)

Op you need to behave like an adult not a banshee. Tell him properly in a conversation rather than going 'mental'. How would you feel if he treated you the same?

iDont lots of us did. But that doesn't stop others on these threads jumping in.with how you shouldn't and the potential problems. And usually people are in agreement. This isn't that much different. Babies get sick.of the formula is to dilute or too concentrated. Their bodies can't cope with fluctuations.

Lady what an arsey comment to make. "Like a banshee" indeed. Sounds more like something a sexist man might say to put a woman down than something a decent person would say.

Also OP...don't forget that on MN you're not allowed to say "Went mad" or "Freaked out" unless it's absolutely true and you had a foot stamping, shouting session.

Fgs people rarely mean that they REALLY went mad....I hate the way posters are jumped on here for things that aren't really fact in all probability.

So the op going mental was all fine then? Nothing a conversation would have resolved. The only sexist thing is that if a man posted going mental at his wife he wouldn't receive any sympathy.

Posters being snarky are either forgetting what those first few months of motherhood are like.

OP, it isn't going to have done him any harm, but it's no more difficult to do it properly so id be cross as well, it is just lazy to not bother. Perhaps it would have been better to calmly explain why it was important for him to do it instead of going mental but everything is heightened with a new baby and I remember getting upset about the most trivial of things, and this isn't trivial, so YANBU.

Absolutely Giles but roughly guessing that it's level is totally different to scooping a mountain of powder on each time - if the man has working eyes then he will be able to see a level scoop full. Assuming the OP didn't marry an idiot he would still he able to judge a level scoop. Not using the levelling thing is not best practice but neither is it a reason to shout at him or react in the way she is being encouraged to do.

There must be some tolerance built into the measure because damn it babies of the same age come in different sizes!

But he ought to make the effort to do it as you wish to please you and if he doesn't he's a slob, and you can tell him that an experienced dispenser of formula (son, nephew, nieces, other rellies' and friends' DCs) says so.

Maybe you're forgetting what the first few months of fatherhood are like? Why is all sympathy reserved for the mother while the father gets only animosity?

MN prides itself on its feminist credentials and belief on equality..but only when it suits, for some people, clearly.

I'd be very annoyed. If the baby had reflux or constipation that could really make the baby sick.

Very bad practice. Careless and lazy.

Hi everyone

Thanks again for all the messages.

DH knows how to make formula according to the instructions and chooses to do it his way anyway. I am more angry at his laziness than any harm to our baby now. Thank you for putting that into perspective.

I know going mad isn't the right thing to do but he is so particular about what he eats and drinks I just can't understand why he just doesn't use the little cardboard thing. There is no harm in simply using it FFS.

Anyway I am in our local 24 hour tesco now. I had to leave to clear my head and to gather my thoughts and have nowhere else to go to.

Thanks again everyone.

OP, it isn't going to have done him any harm, but it's no more difficult to do it properly so id be cross as well, it is just lazy to not bother

See this is just it Imo. It's right there. In the corner. No effort required. There's no reason not to.

I'd be pissed. Not so much because I feel he should be more clued up about the risks or have more of an idea what he is doing. But because avoiding using a tool right there in front of you is nothing more than a point proving exercise. That's what I'd be pissed at. Because it was all to prove a point. That it's too much effort or that the wife knows nothing or that instructions don't mean anything and he's clever enough not to need them etc

Grockle if it were reversed I'd STILL say what I have said. That formula must be prepped correctly and that the stress of being a new parent is affecting the OPs judgment. Stop nit picking and trying to make issues about sexism where none exist.