In thinking that a phone call with a staff member telling you they may have had a mini stroke is not the time to mention a sickness record.

[GratefulHead]

Bid am feeling so stressed here and anxious.

To cut a long story short I recently went back to work (April) to work mornings only. The reason I chose those hours is because my son is autistic with ADHD, he sleeps poorly and it was all I could manage. The job involves caring for sa child who is very physically disabled in a mainstream school and so needs a reliable number of staff, I made the third person. Anyhow, job lovely and child fabulous.
Fast forward to September and I return after the summer holidays to find both other LSA staff have left.....one out of the blue.
Since then I have been filling in the extra hours so working all day which I am really struggling to do. The only reason I am doing this is because the child I work with has to have someone and is lovely.the school have advertised for someone new and are interviewing next week. The new person will start in January.

Four weeks prior to half term I let the school know I could not continue with the extra hours as I was literally on the backs of my knees trying to hold work and home together. DS had just started secondary school and was struggling and not sleeping. I was exhausted. The school waited until the week before half term and then asked me to please continue until the new person was in post. As by that point my DS was sleeping a little better I agreed....silly me, I need to learn to say NO.

Now to sickness...I have had two periods of sickness since I started in April. One for three days in September when I injured my back at work. The second since Friday....another back injury due to pulled muscles with coughing (had a cold). The child I work with requires a great deal of manual handling so I am reluctant to risk further injury.

In addition this morning I experienced some horrible symptoms...basically went numb all down my left side, lost vision in my left eye and felt weak. I thought I was having a stroke. It went rapidly and I felt back to normal within five to ten mins. I made an emergency appointment with my GP who has referred me to the mini stroke clinic. I am sat here worrying but also trying to be sensible and think that the fact they don't want to see me until Monday is a positive/reassuring thing. I am not allowed to drive either....which is another stress.

Anyhow I rang the school and spoke with the HT who while lovely and wished me better etc could not stop herself mentioning my sick record because "obviously you have only been here since April".

AIBU in thinking there are better occasions to mention this?
I didn't bloody well plan this to happen.

Or am I being unreasonable? Is this acceptable of her?

I am so anxious at the moment and now I am worrying about going back to work too.

Stealthpolarbear No where did I say that disciplinary proceedings are only for when employers think people are lying!

They can't "discipline" you when you go back to work as you have a very good reason for being off sick

Ok apologies rhat was my interpretation of the above

They can't "discipline" you when you go back to work as you have a very good reason for being off sick

I was referring to the OP's situation (she works for a local authority and has potentially had a TIA).

Ah ok I thought you were referring to employment laws in general. Do all local authorities have the same policies then? I worked for one and wasnt aware of exception conditions to the disciplinary rules - though it may have changed recently.

Thanks all, yes I am prepared and okay with the sickness policy kicking in when I get back. That's not a problem for me at all. I just feel bad as I know they WILL be struggling this week. I know I can't do anything about it but it isn't nice to think others are struggling because of me.

Feeling okay today...just at a loss and doing some clothes sorting in the bedroom. Hoping they will say "hemiplegic migraine" on Monday and that will be it. I can then drive again and return to work on Tuesday.

I hope so op

"I wasn't claiming to be a legal expert providing legal advice"

You may wish to steer clear of talking about whether employers would "win" at employment tribunals then, and whether it is "legal" to do something. Just a tip. There is a risk people might assume you know what you are talking about.

And if by saying "they can't discipline you as you have a good reason for being off" and "I don't believe it is legal to discipline someone who is off with suspected TIA" you actually mean "OP I've read your internal sickness absence policy and it clearly states no disciplinary action will be taken by your employer for genuine sickness absence", or "OP I have experience in the public sector and I think it's unlikely you'd be disciplined", it would be sensible and responsible to say those things, so that people reading this don't assume (quite naturally) that you mean no employer can legally discipline staff for genuine absence.

[needs an eye roll emoticon]

flowery I am not going to comment on why I said what I said. However, I would like to point out that OP was not worrying about disciplinary proceedings (quite rightly in her position) following her sick leave so why did you feel the need to bring it up in the first place?? That could really stress some people which is last thing someone who has possibly had a TIA needs.

"why did you feel the need to bring it up in the first place??"

Er, I didn't. I responded to your inaccurate and irresponsible "legal" advice.

The HT was being very inappropriate when she mentioned your sick record as you need your back to be good for the job; and having a suspected TIA is very serious.

Hope your health returns to normal soon & you have no more TIAs.

Sometimes employers can be unrealistic about sickness. I work in a hospital & my manager said she doesn't want anyone ''off with colds'' - well I've tried to keep going even though I lost my voice but on my day off yesterday I had to walk to the supermarket in the rain, & ended up having a raised temperature last night. (I have epilepsy so I have to be wary of getting raised temperatures. So I phoned in sick today and have found that I feel much better after a day in bed.
Who knows, if I'd gone sick when I first got the cold then I may not have ended up off sick now!

flowery I was not providing legal advice. I was telling OP that she in her circumstances shouldn't worry about disciplinary proceedings. I said this in response to another poster who suggested that she should worry.

Yes I realise that. You've explained what you actually meant and I've explained how what you actually said would be interpreted. And I've also answered your rather accusatory query about why I "brought it up", in case you missed that...

This is taking up way too much of my time now. I'm sure anyone reading will be able to make their own judgement about what you and anyone else has said on this thread, and whether anyone here really did mean something entirely different from what they said or are backtracking madly to avoid having to admit being wrong in any way.

OP I wish you all the best, hope your HT is more supportive on reflection and you get the medical support you need as well.

Yet again I have been reminded why I set myself a rule of only responding to employment related threads if they are actually posted in Employment rather than getting drawn into those posted in Chat or AIBU. It's not good for my sanity so I shall disappear off to my "home"!

They're not struggling because of 'you', they're struggling because of inadequate staffing arrangements, so please don't add that to your worries right now.

The job you do is physically demanding. Were you given all the training you should have received and are all procedures followed wrt Moving and Handling etc?

YANBU!

I was off work last year for 6 months with severe Hyperemesis. In that time, there were only 2 individual days, just 2, in which I managed not to vomit at all.

On one of these days I ventured 10 minutes by car to Morrisons as I thought I might be able to stomach and keep down a donut (but only a Morrisons one, asda or tesco which are closer wouldn't do). It was more effort than I thought and actually spent half and hour lying down on my back seat before heading home.

While I was out my manager called and my mum answered the phone and told her where I was.

I got home and called her back and she proceeded to give me a right earful. I wasn't allowed to leave the house while ill, apparently, unless it was for medical attention.

She set me back, I didn't eat the donut. Ketones climbed, I deteriorated and ended up back on the drip in hospital.

At the time I really wish I fought my corner but I was too poorly.

gratefulhead I am glad you are feeling a bit less stressed. As parent of a child with SN myself one thing that helped me was to go back to basics and set very strict priorities for myself and put them in order. Your priorities might be different from mine, but in your place my priorities would be: first, your own physical health. Second, your DS’s needs. And third – yes only third! – your job.

I might feel very sorry if I have to stop doing something that is very important to me or to other people. (I felt very sad when I had to stop working for a time!) But I don’t feel so stressed or anxious about it because it has to be like that – something else is even more important. And even though the boy you teach is fabulous, his education is not your top priority. The HT will have different priorities from yours and that’s OK because finding support for him is her professional responsibility. If you can’t do all of it then it becomes her priority to step in and find someone else to fill the gap.

Once you are very clear in your own mind about your priorities it might become easier to set clear boundaries around what you will or wont do - maybe to tell the HT that you have to stop working extra hours for this boy, and to feel really feel confident that you are not letting anyone down by going back to your old hours and taking time off for essentials. If the job does not fit round your essential needs then it’s not the right job.

Wishing you health and strength - you are a hard working, caring and responsible person and your boss is lucky to have you working for her

I must admit, I find genuine sickness absence hard to deal with. HR policy in our local authority is very clear. Whatever the reason, sickness absence over a certain number of days, or 3 absences in a year or absences in a pattern, results in an attendance monitoring procedure with targets being set and monitored. It doesn't matter what the illness is.
The employer take. on it is they are employing someone to do a job and if they are not fit enough to do it that is an issue. I see that and agree with it. But someone can not help having cancer or something equally serious.
However, on the other hand we have staff who take the piss completely and are off regularly with the same things- upset stomach, flu (which they have for 3 days and return with no trace of so it clearly isn't flu), bad backs.
It is a minefield- sickness absence.

A colleague of mine rang in to work to say one of her parents had died. The boss asked when she was coming back! Their parent had only died a couple of hours previously.

I know they have a business to run still, but really? There is a time and a place.

Here's only so much sickness businesses can realistically cover. There's only so far up the line it can go before the buck has to stop.

I had a TIA as a teenager and it was the single most terrifying event of my life, so YANBU at all. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Yes apologies I wrote that as if this was a general discussion thread rather than for support. Get well soon op

Thanks all for your thoughts.

Been to the TIA clinic this morning, almost certainly a TIA.

Had an MRI scan etc and get full results this afternoon.

Biggest issue is that I cannot drive now until a month has passed symptom free.
Getting to work is going to be very difficult but I will look at buses etc.

Have decided that it is unfair to expect the school to cope with this and am going to resign. I will go back to claiming Carers Allowance for a while. I have no proof that stress has brought all this on but I do know that I have been exhausted trying to hold everything together.

Do not resign just yet.

Once a firm diagnosis has been made, and assuming it is a mini stroke, then this would undoubtedly be covered under the Disability Discrimination Act. This would mean your employers, in conjunction with Occ Health would need to consider making reasonable adjustments to help you fulfil your contract. These adjustments could include allowing additional sickness absences and ensuring you only work your contracted hours.

You will be in a stronger position (employment wise) once a firm diagnosis is made so I would urge you not to resign until those discussions with occ health have taken place.

Good luck

Agree with the other posters, as unpalatable as it maybe unfortunately employees can and are disciplined for genuine sickness. We trigger in my trust for I think 3 periods of sickness in a year, that could be three hospital admissions and it would still trigger. Crappy as it may feel at this point!

Aw, you sound lovely, and a very responsible employee - your school are lucky to have you.

If you do resign, could you afford to offer to do some volunteering with them? It will keep your foot in the door, so that if your circumstances change and you feel able to apply for another job, you will be in the forefront of their minds. The experience, added to your time working there, is also good on a CV, if you want to apply for jobs.

Hope that you feel better soon.