Having Brownie pamper evenings

[Fluffyowll27]

Felt I had to defend our Pamper evening after reading previous threads complaining about such inappropriate activities for Brownies. Rather than a beauty night, it's more a relax, calm down, take stock evening following a hectic term. We have - built tents from newspapers, completed a science investigator badge, investigated how to navigate outside in the dark, had treasure hunts, made biscuits, been to a theme park, made paper poppies etc etc now we will have a fun evening with scented candles, bubbly foot baths (own towels brought to prevent cross infection!!) cucumber face packs, oatmeal moisturiser the girls can make and to complete some background music of Tibetan gongs and maybe a few whale calls for good measure. We do this yearly and the Brownies love it, the hall smells gorgeous and when the girls are collected its noticeable how calm they are. We leaders however then spend half an hour cleaning up and go home shattered to prepare for work the next day!!! But it's worth it.

If a school can show a film why can't a brownie pack?

well I am sure there are other things that can be done that is relaxing that does not take into account any form of making yourself look nicer. reading in groups, telling of stories playing board games

and I am not surprised that it is the choice for some young girls given that it is hard to keep children away from the influences of the media obsession on how women look not something that in any way needs to be encouraged

Girl Guiding UK holds licenses that allow groups to show particular films (Disney generally ok, Warner Bros not) - there's a webpage where you can check if a particular film is allowed.

However, I'd feel a right cop-out showing a film at Guides. I try to avoid doing anything they could just do on their own at home. So lots of team games and activities, trips, and teaching new skills occasionally with professional instructors.

Can't get worked up about this.

I was a massive tom boy but around age 8-10 I loved getting a 99p face mask each from boots with my friends and smearing it on and putting some cucumber slices on my eyes.

Cucumber normally got eaten. The face masks are nice and fun to smear on, then the dry and it's fun to peel them off.

Making fake wounds sounds really good fun MrsCharming.

Thanks for the clarification about the films. I would never want to show a dvd at a meeting, precisely because it's something they could so easily do at home (and that's why we've never done loom bands at Brownies, either), but I can see it might be helpful as a settling down activity at a sleepover.

The thing is, as a couple of posters have demonstrated upthread with comments about candles, the guiders are never going to win.

Some people have said pampering fine but no to candles, some people have said candles great but no to pampering. Many have suggested yoga but some parents are against this.

When I was a Brownie helper years ago a parent complained about the pantomime because it mentioned killing and that wasn't appropriate.

When I was a brownie we cooked on campfires, had small firework displays with fireworks let off by the guiders, played widegames in dark woods and many other things that some parents are always going to be up in arms about.

If I was a guider I'd do whatever the hell I and the girls wanted to and let the parents come and moan - there's always going to be some whatever the activity. They'll just be different ones depending on what you choose.

Yes, you're probably right, manicinsomniac.

Parents are perfectly entitled to withdraw their children from activities they don't like, but I'm a bit perplexed by the suggestion upthread that parents might turn up every week, interrogate Brown Owl about that night's activities and then decide whether their daughter will stay or go home again.

Instead of candles, I'd make mini lanterns with led bulbs (older girls can learn simple circuiting, badge work!) and then make sweet or savoury campfires (sweet - digestive biscuit, marshmallows, boot laces, flake chocolate, matchmakers; savoury - tomato salsa, twiglets, carrot shavings, pepper slices, feta cheese, cucumber for grass, and ritz cracker), serve punch/hot chocolate and then dim the lights, and hold an indoor campfire. Get the girls to wear their Jammies/onsies, dim the lights, and sing campfire songs (google for some great ones - the more international, the better!!). Then if you still want to do build in more relaxation, do basic yoga and play sleeping brownies (instructions online somewhere) and finish with a load of brownies that are ready for bed :D

Ahh I miss girlguiding, I can't give a regular commitment but would love to be a leader again!

Brownie and Guide leader here.
I've never felt the need to do anything like an evening like this. THe closest thing we did at Guides was have a Henna lady come in and do designs on their feet at Divali (with parental consent). Lovely and relaxing. Being girl led, if the girls consistently asked for it, I might cave, but I'd never suggest it. If we fancy a chill out evening, we do a quiet craft or something. But then, I am the type of person who hates these spa treatment/days- I live in dread of someone giving me one for a birthday and I'll have to go!

Don't get me started on the Glamorama and Passion for Fashion GFIs at Guides. Fortunately the Guides I have at the moment are more likely to choose Camp Out or Globalistic and they stay in the box.

Oh dear do they still exist? I rather hoped that with the uniform overhaul they'd do away with go for it's..

Op I think your 'pamper evening' is very different to the 'makeup party' the other thread was talking about.

I didn't send my daughters to brownies, partly because back then there was much more of this particular kind of gender stereotyping. (There are other things my children now have to worry about regarding their children and gender nonsense, of course; in some ways it's even worse nowadays.)

The sort of thing I'm thinking about is epitomised by some of the posts on this thread. For instance ( Sprink, sorry to pick on you but you're not alone!):
"As for Cubs not being preoccupied with appearance, of course not--they're too busy learning to fix things".
Huh?! Really?! (My mind is boggled by such dreadful sexism. On MN!) Maybe it's intended ironically? Apologies if so; it looks serious, though.

Thing is, I didn't want my children to grow up thinking (like Sprink and others) that boys and not girls are the ones who 'learn to fix things'. That's good enough reason, I reckon, to deplore 'pamper' sessions for little girls.

(It more-or-less worked with my daughters, btw; they learned to fix things and all that. They're happier and more fulfilled thereby, I dare to claim. They were, and grew up, wholly beautiful too, without needing moisturiser and the like as children.)

Volunteering in a community, yes. Yes and yes again. Well done. Please don't stereotype children by gender in these ways, though.

shouldnthavesaid That sounds very similar to our evening last week for Firework night. We made edible campfires, had sparklers, and sung songs around an indoor campfire - and since I've volunteered for the Guides in the USA and Switzerland, they were pretty International!

I ran cubs. You should have seen the parental uproar caused when I taught them to iron, Hoover, sew on a badge, and make a cup of tea. From the dads, natch.

We run spa evenings with the guides. There is no make up, but they do make (gender-neutral) peppermint bath salts as gifts for Christmas (lots of the girls wrap them for their dads, as well as mums). We also use the opportunity to discuss personal hygiene, as it would appear that some of the parents haven't quite got round to it ;-) (we judge when it is necessary to run a 'spa evening' by the amount of shocked faces in the vicinity of certain armpits - there are some things that are less embarassing to contemplate when run as a fun chat amongst peppermint oil and food colouring).

They also make a hand scrub and moisturizer (again, gender neutral - it's from an 'after gardening' recipe or some such, and wrap for Christmas.

And for the angsty among the mn jury, we talk an awful lot about gendered norms, and cultural expectations surrounding women and the beauty industry. On the same evening. Which is why i draw the line at make up. I don't vilify make up, I make no negative links with make up, but I ask the girls to think themselves about expectations for boys and girls, men and women, and the differences. They can make their own minds up.

Sadly, the spa evening is always the favourite of the girls. They are, after all, a product of the society they live in. Bit harsh to blame Brown Owl for that - rather look to yourselves and your friends ;-)

We do our best (see what I did there) to try and invite discussion around stereotypes, and open further possibilities for the youth in our care - sometimes there are sticky moments when parents volunteer to come and do make-overs and we have to politely decline...

Do cubs have pamper evenings and wear face masks?

No, thought not.

Yabu. But at least the hall smells gorgeous eh

Girlguiding UK Girls' Attitudes Survey 2013:

"The overall proportion saying they are not happy with their looks has increased this year to 33%, up from 29% last year and 26% two years ago. Of girls and young women across the ages, 63% are happy with the way they look (including 23% who are very happy) but this has fallen from 68% last year, and 73% two years ago."

The other thread was talking about a 7yo who "came home plastered in make up, red lipstick, glitter, painted nails, curled hair." That's clearly not involved in yours, but still... I don't see how cucumber facepacks or oatmeal moisturisers are an essential part of taking stock or calming down.

I wouldn't have a problem with the 'relax' side of the evening, but I might raise an eyebrow at the facemasks and moisturiser. I wouldn't like my 9 year old daughter to think she needed any of that at her age. But I think that as long as you have advised parents before the event, then parents can decide for themselves whether to send their daughter that week.

It's definitely better than the evening my daughter had at Rainbows when she was 6. I was asked when I dropped her off if it was ok if a temporary tattoo was applied to her arm, I said no problem. You can imagine my horror when I turned up to find my daughter with a full face if make up - blusher, eyeliner, eye shadow, bright red lipstick! I wanted to cry. Needless to say, I didn't send her the next time the rainbows held a pamper evening .

Actually, when I was a Guide (in the late 1970s) I do remember having an evening that was all about make up. Which I think was arranged by an opportunistic local Avon rep. I remember being narked that I didn't get a go on the lipgloss (though given that my granddad ran a pharmacy I did actually get all the makeup I could eat at very low prices...)
I think there's something to be said for teaching hygiene and grooming at scout/guide age, certainly. IN fact, I think that nail painting (not with extensions, just with painting) would be a brilliant thing for cubs as well as brownies to do. Decorating yourself is a fairly universal human impulse, and when it's a matter of fun stuff like nail painting, fake tattoos or even pleasant-smelling bath stuff, then the answer to the sexism issue is not to ban it but to make more of it.

Madwoman sounds fantastic - yes yes to teachIng personal hygiene and ironing!