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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD missed a cooking lesson so has to do it at home?

254 replies

EdwiniasRevenge · 11/11/2014 12:44

Last week DD was ill, had the day off school. First one this term. She probably averages 1-2 days off per academic year and only when genuinly ill. She had been up all night with fever and still had a fever that morning (38+).

She was due to bake lemon biscuits in her food class. Yr9, not an examined course. In fact it is an 'option' not a compulsory subject.

Today she has been told that because she missed the cooking session last week she must bake the dish at home (biscuits) and take a photograph with a name label shown in the picture. What is the teacher going to gain from this? What is dd going to gain from this?

Now - if it was an academic subject I would feel there was some justification for catching up on the missed class content. But to complete a practical she missed?

She cooks competently at home -bolognese/chilli/soup/cakes/biscuits all from scratch and with minimal input from me.

AIBU to think that this task is unnecessary?
AIBU to politely email the teacher and explain that I feel this is unecessary.

OP posts:
Mehitabel6 · 12/11/2014 07:51

Use margarine instead of butter.

treadheavily · 12/11/2014 07:55

C'mon, bake the biscuits and post a photo for us to see. We might all have to bake some, too, in support of your dd.

Coolas · 12/11/2014 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigTillyMint · 12/11/2014 08:12

If it was my DC I would be fine with the teacher giving that homework and asking us to write in the planner if it was a problem for them to do it.

It's not a 3 course meal, it's biscuits! It could be a fun and learning activity!

bigTillyMint · 12/11/2014 08:15

Ooops, just seen FSM. Would write in the planner that I was happy for her to do it, but do they have any (whatever is needed) please.

Mehitabel6 · 12/11/2014 09:03

On a different tack perhaps this is what is wrong with cooking today. We would not have made lemon biscuits past yr7. This would have been the term for making and icing a Christmas cake - with marzipan, royal icing and piping.

Dancergirl · 12/11/2014 09:29

I can't believe some of these responses and it's making me quite cross. I feel sorry for teachers if parents undermine them in this way.

Homework is set across the curriculum and is decided by what teachers feel is appropriate. It isn't optional or up to parents to decide if it is 'necessary' or not.

I don't believe this isn't really about the money, the OP stated that at the start. It's about the OP feeling this is unnecessary.

Why on earth does an academic subject have more importance than a practical one?? I have every respect for that Food tech teacher, she's taking her subject seriously.

And just because the OP's dd is a competent cook/baker doesn't mean she shouldn't do the work like everyone else. If a child was a Maths whizz, should they not do the homework because it's 'unnecessary'?

I don't always agree with some of the homework my dc are set. I don't like the use of Mathletics for Year 3 Maths homework, encouraging dc to look at yet another screen. But I DON'T say 'don't worry about that homework darling, I don't believe in it'. No. My dd does the homework anyway because that is what has been set BY HER TEACHER.

I'm not surprised behaviour has gone downhill in schools in parents don't encourage respect for teachers Angry

Mehitabel6 · 12/11/2014 09:38

I don't know where you draw the line as to which subjects you catch up with and which you don't.
I guess the Maths teacher is the luckiest as it just gets done without fuss.

3boys40 · 12/11/2014 09:41

if she bakes biscuits at home anyway than what is the problem with these ones. The teacher also doesn't know she is an accomplished cook at home so it is fair to ask.

3boys40 · 12/11/2014 09:42

also I would say pick your battles.

3boys40 · 12/11/2014 09:47

I would also say you are very luckyto get the ingredients paid for you. When I was growing up we were on fsm and we had to provide them.

3boys40 · 12/11/2014 09:52

at my childs school a child got a detention for not handing in homework set the day before. She was off sick that day. Now that is unfair.

Hakluyt · 12/11/2014 10:02

"I don't know where you draw the line as to which subjects you catch up with and which you don't.
I guess the Maths teacher is the luckiest as it just gets done without fuss."

You don't. You just catch up. The only issue here is the cost of the ingredients.

BoomBoomsCousin · 12/11/2014 10:17

State schools aren't allowed to insist anyone brings in ingredients for cooking, though if you don't the school could insist all the end results stay with them. So the teacher's request is not one the school can require of your DD and be acting lawfully (few schools seem to realise this though).

Nevertheless YABU unless the teacher's request is backed up with some kind of sanction if your DD doesn't do it.

It's an experience that the course of lessons is making available to your DD and I think the teacher is trying to ensure your DD is able to get as much out of the course as possible. To that extent it is necessary for the teacher to make the point that your DD can do the work at home, and I think that's what she's trying to do. If it were a chemical practical your DD couldn't do it at home, with this she can at least have a go. It probably isn't essential to her learning experience to make that particular batch of biscuits and send in a photo. There's no way for the teacher to assess her work from a photo, and it would be hard for your DD to get any good feedback if she has problems making them. But in terms of the cooking course it would still be better for your DD to have had a go at them than not to have a go.

flipchart · 12/11/2014 11:03

I keep hearing about the cost of the ingredients and the amount of electricity the cooker is using. Then I hear that the DD bakes biscuits anyway.

TBH I think it a lot of fuss and protestingis going on.

Even the most stretched households have butter or marg in, even 25g worth same with sugar and an egg. You can buy a small bag of flour for 50p. Surely the oven is going to be too make tea at some point.

The DD apparently likes making biscuits and is competent so what's all the fuss about?

Yeah, I get she was ill and I'm hearing about other subjects wouldn't make her catch up but it's such an easy thing.

Oh, I know 'it's the PRINCIPLE!!!
I would get the to make a load( love biscuits) kills three birds, teachers happy, DS has done exactly the same as everyone else and there's biscuits to be eaten! I would even send a few in for teacher.

FriendlyLadybird · 12/11/2014 11:11

She will have had to make up the work in other lessons that she missed -- not as a punishment or extra homework, but just a consequence of having had a day sick.

Hakluyt · 12/11/2014 11:11

Please will somebody explain why a school child should not automatically make up any work that they have missed for whatever reason? (Setting aside the cost of ingredients thing for the time being). What exactly is the big deal here?

BoomBoomsCousin · 12/11/2014 11:46

I don't think this is the same as reading a course book or writing an essay. A practical in school time is an opportunity to have your technique assessed and critiqued. It is experience, but if the OP's daughter bakes biscuits anyway, she's already got that. It probably wouldn't hurt, but it's still dictating what happens in the family home, and it ought to have good reason if they are insisting rather than suggesting.

I think being told to simply do it and send in a photo (with name label) could be construed as less of a "I really want you to do well, this will help" from the teacher and more of a "I don't care what you get from it, but you're damn well not swapping one of my lessons for a bit of time in front of the telly when you're sick."

Hakluyt · 12/11/2014 12:19

"but it's still dictating what happens in the family home"

But every piece of homework set does this, surely?

Mehitabel6 · 12/11/2014 12:27

If DD makes biscuits anyway- is it just that you don't want her to make biscuits because someone tells her to? Would it be OK if she arrived home and wanted to make biscuits for fun?

rosdearg · 12/11/2014 12:52

"Please will somebody explain why a school child should not automatically make up any work that they have missed for whatever reason? (Setting aside the cost of ingredients thing for the time being). What exactly is the big deal here?"

You don't have to do the other lessons in real time. If you have 6 or 7 hours' lessons a day you could spend a week, including weekends, making those up at an hour an evening, on top of your actual homework, piano practice, etc. That would be tiresome. Non-practical subjects do not require this. They require you to read / copy up the chapter or the notes or the hand outs, assimilate the knowledge that brings you up to speed with the rest of the class, and prove it by doing the normal homework that was set. Copying up notes or reading the handout will not take nearly as long as a real life lesson. REal classes starting with "does anyone remember what we talked about last week in terms of postive and negative ions?" - faffing about like that, settling the class, tuning them in, dealing with cheekiness, chivvying some of them up to speed, testing their understanding as you go, etc. As an individual, you just read it in 10 minutes and then you know it.

"But every piece of homework set does this, surely?"

a. yes, some say too much too young, but more importantly,
b. Yes, but this is not homework. The OP is not complaining that her dd has to all the homework set the week she was ill. She is complaining that she has to replicate the actual lesson at home, in her own time.

To me this is bizarre, it is as if I missed a meeting at work through being ill at which I was given action points in absentia. And then finding that not only do I now have to do the action points (fair enough, obviously) but I have to do a weird mime of the exact interplay of the meeting, in real time, on my own, at home, in my own time.

"Politically, I think eroding parental responsibility and extending state intervention and control in ordinary families lives has no benefit and many many negatives. "

I completely agree with this. My whole family is strapped for time, my girls are small so they are exhausted by 7 and in bed by 8 and I don't have that much time to spend with them. Every minute is budgeted and within that budget I would definitely include sensible educational stuff that supports what they are doing at school, but I resent having to allow more time for stupid nonsense. AT this point someone will pipe up, "who decides what is stupid nonsense?" and I think I can. I am an adult with a great education and great job, and I know my children better than anyone, so yes, I do think I get to decide thank you very much.

EG:
My daughter reads her stupid books from the school once a week, on the day she gets them, in 4 minutes flat to get the blasted things out of the way (I do not talk contemptuously about them in front of her, obviously) and then I write in the book that she has done it.

The rest of the week she is very keen to read, alone and to me, every single day, the good books that we choose together that are interesting and have stories, and I make no attempt to steer her towards the stupid books from school. This means that her reading diary has only one entry a week and I don't care. I believe I know best in choosing to support her reading in that way: whatever schema informs the school books, she is getting what she needs out of it by reading the goddamned things once: what I think reading is about, which is following your interests, gaining pleasure from literature, and earning ease and facility by constant practice which will then translate into a benefit for every other subject - she gets from reading widely and freely all the time. I know the school think she should read the books they send every day. I don't care. We don't do that and I believe I know best, because more than anything, I want her to enjoy it and own it.

A lot of people on this thread seem to want to deny parents like me that judgement. I think that is pathetic and craven.

Hakluyt · 12/11/2014 12:56

Making the biscuits will take 20 minutes, tops.Same as copying out the notes.

Hakluyt · 12/11/2014 12:58

"am an adult with a great education and great job, and I know my children better than anyone, so yes, I do think I get to decide thank you very much"

Yep- anyone can be a teacher. Because they once went to school and have a child. What do teachers know!

BoomBoomsCousin · 12/11/2014 12:59

Yes Hakluyt which is why all homework should have sound goals and not simply be busy work or set because a teacher feels it ought to be set.

SirChenjin · 12/11/2014 12:59

No bloody way would I be doing this. If my children are off sick then we don't get instructions home to do the PE they missed, the art they missed, or indeed any of the other work they missed. I am the parent who supports the school in every way, but the Home Ec teacher wouldn't be getting lemon biscuits from the Chen household, I'm afraid.

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