Really looking for advice on this one as can't decide wheter IABU due to PMT!!
this isn't a big issue at all ..... really just started to niggle me, ever so slightly, and I wonder whether I should do something about it now or just not bother.... anyway here goes:
Been with DP just over a year. He was previously single for a long time before me. He had quite a few close female friends. One of which he used to spend a fair bit of time with. He used to eat at her house maybe 3 x a week. She is married with one DC. She is a good friend to him and he enjoys spending time with her, but my impression is he was starting to feel a bit lonely in his life and therefore spent perhaps a bit too much time with her/her family rather than getting out there and creating a life for himself. I feel this then created a dynamic/pattern with her, that would inevitably suffer to some extent (when I say suffer, I mean just not be quite the same) when he got into a relationship.
Anyway, throughout our relationship I have observed her to be quite needy in terms of his attention and at times, very much trying to involve herself with things that I think should be the sole concern of us, as a couple, if you see what I mean. Very personal, important stuff. I won't go into those issues here as he did firmly pull her up on that , but I will expand on the needy communications!
For example, we moved in together and our new flat is now quite far away from her, so he doesn't spend so much time over there (and hasn't really since we've been going out). She sends him quite guilt-trippy messages over this. For example, one was along the lines of my DC really misses you and wants to speak with you and is crying that you didn't pick up your phone just now. I found this to be quite guilt-tripping and not very healthy. AIBU?!
I understand to some extent why this is happening, as I say above, I think the friendship they had before was slightly unhealthy because he was feeling lonely and so perhaps relied on her a bit too much for support. Maybe she feels this is still her realm? She must also miss him as they don't spend a lot of time together now.
I don't know.... maybe it's really stupid to post on here, because I don't feel threatened and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing going on between them (just to be very clear on that as I know some Mnetters may jump to that conclusion), it's just niggling me a bit and I wonder whether it's only going to get worse.... I really can't imagine sending this type of message to one of my male friends, whether or not he is in a relationship actually. But maybe that's just me...!
Should I say something to him about it or just ignore it? If i do say something, what should I say?
Thank you!