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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my 14 month old lo entertain herself for a little bit

23 replies

midgetgem2211 · 10/11/2014 14:06

While I sit and have a cup of tea? I have a stinking cold and and knackered. I am still expressing for her and was up at three to pump and feel like dearh warmed up. Is it really bad that I have got a selection of toys out for her and popped cbeebies on while I have a break?

OP posts:

Original poster

midgetgem2211 · 10/11/2014 14:07

*death

OP posts:

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 10/11/2014 14:08

No, not at all.

I'd stick cebeebies on too.

Have your cup of tea.

1hamwich4 · 10/11/2014 14:09

I view this sort of thing as part of her education. You'd be doing her no favours if she never learnt to entertain herself.

flapjackattack · 10/11/2014 14:10

It's educational. Independent play is important. Nuture her creativity/ independence

Chumpster · 10/11/2014 14:12

I never let my first entertain herself when she was that age and now I'm paying the price because she is only just learning how to do it... age 6. So I could never have a break or get on with jobs. I'd recommend letting her entertain herself for good chunks of each day...

ByTheWishingWell · 10/11/2014 14:14

Learning to play independently is an important skill. If my DD ever has a break from bringing me stories and shouting 'up, up!', I gladly take the chance to have a cup of tea (and some MN time). YANBU at all.

DearGirl · 10/11/2014 14:14

If you are then I definitely am as I make my under 1 do this :)

shatteredboo · 10/11/2014 14:17

Do you normally entertain her every second she's awake?

fieldfare · 10/11/2014 14:18

Independent play is a really important skill for them to learn! Create a little treasure box of random unusual things for her to investigate (different textures like a sponge, ribbon, cork, peg, wooden spoon, metal curtain ring etc) and let her at it while you enjoy a cuppa.

Mulligrubs · 10/11/2014 14:22

I've let my DS entertain himself since he was born (Ok, you know what I mean!) and he's now coming up to 1 year old. Is that wrong?! He quite happily plays by himself for 10 mins or more while I fanny around cleaning or whatever, now I feel bad that I don't really entertain him much...

shatteredboo · 10/11/2014 14:26

Me too mulligrubs! We would be living in filth if DS didn't entertain himself for short periods during the day.
How else do you clean?
(Genuine question! )

Moonraker37 · 10/11/2014 14:29

Nope, I do it a lot, with two under two it's a daily must for small chunks of the day.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 10/11/2014 14:33

Are you saying that in 14 months you have never let your child entertain themselves while you have a cup of tea/do a bit of cleaning/go on mumsnet?

Christ, I am doing it all wrong!

BsshBosh · 10/11/2014 14:37

I let DD play independently all the time as a baby and am now blessed with a 6 yo who is able to play for hours independently without me needing to be in the same room.

AnythingNotEverything · 10/11/2014 14:46

I do this most days. You are not being neglectful.

AwesomeSuperTasty · 10/11/2014 14:49

I try to let my 11 month old play independently - have been doing this since he was around 4 months or so. It worked until he started to try and roll, then sit, then stand - he would play alone quite happily but I still had to hover to prevent him taking a tumble.

However, since he became mobile, I can't really leave him alone for more than a minute - his favourite independent play is crawling into corners to get cables out, playing with sockets, trying to climb onto the rubbish bin or pulling books off our shelves. I've childproofed as much as I can, but we live in a rented apartment with an open plan kitchen / living room so can't really customise the space too much.

I am genuinely in awe of you lot who manage to clean and cook in the short bursts of independent play! What's the secret?

toffeecrispandacupoftea · 10/11/2014 14:50

Of course YANBU! I have an 18mnth old and leave her for small chunks of time every day while I dash round putting on laundry or cleaning.

This morning I saw Tesco delivery coming up the road so I popped her in her cot, put on some nursery rhymes and gave her a couple of toys while I unpacked. (about 10 mins).

This is just safe in most cases anyway. It stops her running out the door with the driver to play the second I try to unpack a box!

Most of the time she doesn't bat an eye lid when I go out the room because she is used to it and knows I always come back fairly quickly.

ApocalypseThen · 10/11/2014 15:27

I'm a massive playpen fan. I don't understand why they're currently unfashionable. It's important for the child to get a few minutes off being shown how to play, how to use this or do that and do a bit of solo work, but it's also important for you to have a minutes peace.

Myearhurts · 10/11/2014 15:39

What is it about Tesco delivery drivers toffeecrispandcupoftea that is so appealing to children? My DS is generally shy around strangers but he'd leave me for the Tesco delivery man in a heartbeat if I let him. It's not like we always get the same one, it's usually a different one every time.

Anyway, you are not being unreasonable. I think children need a bit of space even when they are tiny. I don't mean walk out of the room or anything like that, I just mean it's good to let them play on their own. I did it with my DS when he was that age. He's turned out OK so far, he's currently playing on his own with a model monster truck. It's being chased by a cow apparently.

Original poster

midgetgem2211 · 10/11/2014 16:00

Oh don't get me wrong I do leave her to play by herself while I do jobs etc but I feel guilty doing it just so I can sit and do nothing! But I think I may actually have died (slight exaggeration) on the school run if I didn't just stop for a bit today. Thanks for making me feel normal!

OP posts:

Flingmoo · 10/11/2014 16:05

My 5 month old plays supervised for 10 mins or so every morning when I have my toast and cuppa! He gets a bit grumpy every few minutes and then I have to step in to 'rotate' him into a different playing position as he's not mobile yet. Not sure how this will work when he's mobile and wreaking havoc though - may have to invest in a large play pen and chuck in a load of toys and cushions. Wouldn't leave him unsupervised but it does allow you to have a hot drink and fold up some washing, browse MN etc.

ArcheryAnnie · 10/11/2014 16:49

I'd give mine at that age a massive pile of unsorted clean socks from the laundry, and it gave me time for a cup of tea while he moved them all, one by one, from the pile one side of him into a pile on the other side. Educational!

(I had a playpen for him - which I couldn't help calling the Baby Cage - so I didn't freak out about accidents when I was at the falling-over-with-tiredness stage.)

jamdonut · 10/11/2014 17:59

I would have gone mad without a playpen! There's nothing wrong with leaving children to play by themselves for a while,especially if you know they are in a safe place.

Do people really spend their days entertaining their kids constantly? Its no wonder some children have such low boredom thresholds at school!

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