To ask people who suffer with depression to chat to me

[dontknowwhatnametopick]

Hi everyone, over the last couple of months I have struggled with life. I split up with my DS's dad at the beginning of the year, my DS and I moved area, DS started school, I'm having to tolerate shared care between me and my ex, my sons behaviour at the moment is terrible and lots of changes with my job.

I cry at the drop of a hat, I have in motivation, I can't sleep, no appetite and worse of all I'm getting really frustrated with DS really easy and I end up shouting at him.

I feel guilty all the time and anxious. I went to my GP today who thinks I have depression. I am gutted my life has got to this point as normally I am such a strong, level headed person.

I seem to have lost the inability to see things logically (see my post from last week about ear rings). What worries me the most is the way I react to DS when he is playing up!

Anyway GP has asked me start antidepressant medication. I don't know how I feel about this. I feel like such a failure and let down.

Please tell me I'm not alone?!

Sorry for the ramble

You've had a lot of upheaval in your life so it's no wonder you're feeling depressed. I have no idea if there's any evidence for this but I personally believe that a lot of stress or something upsetting that's happened can trigger clinical depression. I agree that counselling would be good for you but the waiting lists are horrific. I'd go privately if you can afford it.

I think this has been going on long enough now to warrant you taking ADs but it's really up to you. I know people who think fluoxetine is wonderful, it did nothing for me but then I only took it for 6 weeks so it probably wasn't long enough. I had no side effects either, although I felt more tearful and anxious when I first started which is very common. For some reason you often feel worse before you get better. I don't think you have to abstain from alcohol completely but it's recommended that you see how the medication affects you before drinking. If it makes you sleepy then drinking alcohol probably isn't that wise. If you don't have any side effects, a glass of wine now and again probably isn't going to hurt.

A low dose may be enough to make you feel a bit more resilient and help you cope better but good luck with whatever you decide.

It sounds very much like you have stress-induced depression. It's nothing to be ashamed of - in fact the people who tend to get depression are usually those who are very strong, who take responsibility for everything and are conscientious, caring and sensitive.

It is a chemical imbalance - if you were to do a lumbar puncture of a depressed person and analyse their spinal fluid, it would show that they were deficient in seratonin and noradrenaline. It's just as physical as having a broken leg (but can be much more serious).

Having taken anti-depressants earlier this year, I cannot tell you the difference they made - within a month I felt so, so much happier and had no side effects and no problem coming off them. Please do take them and don't stop taking them until your doctor says (which will be six months after you start to feel better) - it's really important to do that.

I would also recommend reading "Depressive Illness: The Curse of the Strong" by Dr Timothy Cantopher. It really explains what stress-induced depression is, how it is caused and what you can do to get better.

You are going through an awful time, but in the words of a very famous sufferer of depression - Winston Churchill - "If you're going through hell, keep going".

Thanks everyone for your replies, I decided to start the medication last night, one day at a time I guess!

No shame in it at all. I've been depressed on and off for at least 15 years. Over that time I have taken ADs many times. I have reached a sort of equilibrium where I take the lowest dose I can get away with (and sometimes that = nothing at all). Yours may well be simply situational and as life eases the depression will fade away. The ADs will make life acceptable until this happens

Absolutely no shame, you're unwell and receiving treatment. I put off taking ADs for a few years because of stigma in my family. I've now been on them for around 3 years, and while I still have rough patches (and in these times I go to the Doctor and we discuss my dosage), I am in a far, far better place. In my case, it took me around 6 weeks to become close to myself again (though I started them mid way through my third year of uni so the stressful situations were just getting more stressful) and I felt very nauseous. However, I do believe they help me function as myself, and actually function full stop. Make sure you keep in touch with your Doctor, and also remember that from the sounds of it, you're in an incredibly stressful and difficult situation - it's not 'wrong' to be stressed. Talking therapy and CBT have also helped me.

I had severe pnd and couldn't avoid taking ADs, i couldn't function anymore so i needed them. I didn't need much persuading though i was so sick of feeling like my life wasn't worth living. I had friends with depression before getting ill and could never understand why they wouldn't just take ADs. Like they were proving a point by struggling.

I also eventually had CBT which was incredibly effective.

Look after yourself OP

You are so not alone

I've been up and down with it for years. Currently having problems but trying to resolve without meds. Never feel like you are a failure and never feel like there is no hope. Life can be utter shit but that doesnt make you any less of a person if you feel the pain from it. It makes you pretty much normal. Chin up and take heed of the good advice on this page.

Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate all the kind words x