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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to book a day off work while the kids are at nursery

50 replies

PeppaPigStinks · 10/11/2014 13:42

I am tired. I need a day to myself, to do nothing!
My children go to nursery for the whole day of one of my working days. The other two days I work they spend with grandparents. Almost all of my leave has been used to take days off when GPs decide they want to do something else (fair enough - they are entitled to their own time as well but don't understand we have to work AND its their choice to look after the kids as I have offered to put them in nursery.)

but AIBU to book a day off when no else is at home and have a day on my own? I feel like I should do something constructive with my leave or that I should use the time to do something with the family!

OP posts:
rubyflipper · 10/11/2014 15:15

YABU

Just joking Grin

Zamboni · 10/11/2014 15:17

YANBU - I do this frequently Smile

Aherdofmims · 10/11/2014 15:19

Yanbu.

But you also need to sort out the situation re the other days. The GPs need to know that you cannot use all your annual leave like this - either it becomes three days nursery or they give you reliable cover for the days they choose to do).

Alternatively can the nursery do occasional days if the GPs give you plenty of notice?

Ludways · 10/11/2014 15:22

I do it a couple of times a year, I have a life too and I'm allowed an occasional day to do me stuff.

maninawomansworld · 10/11/2014 15:29

Do it! Just don't be tempted to fill the day with chores, make sure you properly relax.

Loopylala7 · 10/11/2014 15:33

I get this too, similar set up with nursery and GPs. Book a day off. You really deserve it. If you're anything like me though, you'll end up doing 101 household chores though!

Original poster
PeppaPigStinks · 10/11/2014 15:46

I just feel like my life Is non stop chaos. And we have a puppy now added to the mix!

I have just suggested to DH he does the same. But on a different day to me hahaha.

Ref the gp I am so annoyed as mil has let me down for 3 weeks in a row. Thankfully I've got them in nursery now.

OP posts:
Daters123 · 10/11/2014 15:56

Do it! Don't pack too much in - half the fun for me is doing nothing.

If you're going to feel at all guilty about booking leave for yourself - see if nursery can have the kids for a extra day.

Have you considered booking kids into nursery on your MIL days anyway and then offering her every other week or something? I know it's a pain to pay for childcare when you might not use it constantly - but that's better than being let down by unreliable childcarers.

bigkidsdidit · 10/11/2014 16:06

I do this all the tkme! I have two days off booked in early December to get all my Christmas shopping done and wrapped :)

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 10/11/2014 16:41

Hope you have a lovely day x

weeblueberry · 10/11/2014 16:47

Do it. I've booked an entire week off in a couple of weeks and still intend for DD to go into childcare and am desperately looking for someone to take her in the mornings when I don't usually work. Normally I feel guilty about these things but this time I'm just so utterly and totally desperate for alone time that frankly I don't even care.

Enjoy your day. :D

CurlyWurlyCake · 10/11/2014 17:14

I've just had my first of 3 days on my own.

Happily took the DC to school and went shopping Smile

I plan to go back to bed after the school run tomorrow Grin

WhatWouldBlairWaldorfDo · 10/11/2014 17:28

Do it :) in my school club i have quite a few kids that come on an 'unnecessary' day. Some have a set day each week where mum finishes work at lunch and they still come til 5/5.30pm, others just book a day in as and when.

The kids have fun, the parents either get stuff done/relax/have a shag/whatever. Everyones happy :)

Original poster
PeppaPigStinks · 10/11/2014 18:49

Daters123 we have suggested this more than once but neither gp want to do that. I think they enjoy having the kids.
Mil retired to look after my SIL children! -but she still cancels our days three weeks in a row-

OP posts:
Daters123 · 10/11/2014 22:21

Peppa that's really frustrating then. Sounds like her son needs to have a word with her about the commitment needed to look after children. Is it you that ends up covering and stressing about it? Does your MIL think your job is worth 'less' than his?

I'm projecting hugely here. My ex-PILs were like this. My parents had my children two days a week and the PILs wanted equal time. They insisted they wanted to help but would always cause me stress by not being able to do all the days. I solved it the way I described - I booked children into nursery on 'PIL days', told them they were welcome to have children for whole day or collect them early. I also told them a story about how my boss was very unsympathetic about childcare issues (not true) to explain it away, as we needed my job to cover mortgage.

I think they genuinely hadn't considered that I couldn't just miss work when I wanted to - because of course exP was the 'earner' and my job was just for pin money in their eyes. Never mind we earned nearly the same!

Janethegirl · 10/11/2014 22:35

Go for it Peppa have time on your own to chill, read a book, meet friends and have a glass of wine, or go for beauty treatments if that's your bag....just do what you want.

Loopylala7 · 12/11/2014 09:27

Peppa & Daters, you sound like you have the exact same issues as me! My PIL seem to let me down regularly in favour of another GC. Apparently their DS&DDIL have far to important jobs to take time off. Actually Ive also had to take leave for them to go on hen & stag dos which I thought was taking the p!ss somewhat. Grates on me like you wouldn't believe!

Stripyhoglets · 12/11/2014 10:19

Just tell mil that you can't keep covering the days she cancels, book kids into nursery for 2 days then she can either have them when your parents can't, or have them occasionally when you are off work. My parents will cancel the after school care they do for my child but I can easily just out her in after school club instead so it's not a problem, but nursery is different.

Stripyhoglets · 12/11/2014 10:19

Oh, and no YANBU to have the day off when they are in nursery.

Plateofcrumbs · 12/11/2014 10:40

DH and I are already planning our first child-free day when baby DS starts nursery - spa treatment and posh lunch. YADNBU

Honeycrumb · 12/11/2014 10:59

Indulge! Do whatever you want to do and I agree with other posters -- don't feel guilty otherwise it will be a waste. You deserve it. Do it.

ChasedByBees · 15/11/2014 18:46

Bit late to this but could you change the leave days to when nursery will probably have availability?

Our nursery always seems to have spare days on Friday so if we need to, we can almost always book an extra Friday. If your inlaws had that day then you have a back up.

LokiBear · 15/11/2014 20:19

I would love to be able to do this. I can't because dh and I are both teachers so we can't book days off and in the holidays we are all off together. Even putting dd in nursery then would leave me stuck with DH Grin. A few weeks ago I had a gastric flu bug and spent two days at home whilst they were at work/nursery. Aside from the fact that I was puking my guts up every half hour it was heaven!

Marylou2 · 15/11/2014 20:24

Gosh no! Book it immediately. Don't question yourself for another second and enjoy.

SexualBernieClifton · 16/11/2014 18:38

I did this last week. Kids went to GPs and I played on the PS3 all day.

Much happier because of it.

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