Morning all, just want to bounce this off the masses before the conversation is had to see if IABU and how big a bitch this would make me.
Bit of background...back in May, I left my ex, 6 week old daughter in tow when his behaviour crossed the line from being EA towards me and became dangerous for DD. We'd been through bad patches before but when I became pregnant (planned) he started treating me disgustingly, reducing me to tears every other day, trying to bully me into continuing smoking and drinking, going out every weekend and spending all our spare cash, cheating, falling out with me before each scan, saying he only agreed to try for a baby because he'd assumed he couldn't have kids...and that's naming just a few examples. I tried my best to keep us together hoping he was having a wobble because of how drastically his life was about to change. The morning I left him, I'd come downstairs because DD was screaming. He had hold of her, pissed out of his face and right in front of my eyes almost toppled into the kitchen cabinets with her. I took her off him. I then found out she was screaming with hunger...it was his first night looking after her alone and he'd gotten so drunk it didn't occur to him to feed her. I was then informed that he had a 'surprise' on its way...his ex was on her way over with a lot of cocaine and we were going to have a threesome while looking after DD somehow between us.
Fast forward 6 months ish. He does see DD, supervised, twice a week. He cancels a lot 'because of work' but it always seems to be on a day he doesn't work. His job hasn't changed. He hasn't so much as turned up with a toy for DD since we left. He doesn't make the most of his visits and often sits playing on his phone or goes off for a smoke or leaves early. He goes out of his way to make things difficult regularly. I honestly think he doesn't actually care about DD and that he'll lose interest when he gets bored of the game he's playing. He also has never been interested in anything to do with Christmas, hates it and ignores it every year. This year's supervised visit would fall on Christmas eve.
I have plans for Christmas eve evening right through to after boxing day. I don't want to see him Christmas day. But I suspect he'll try to push for Christmas day and pretend to be sentimental that it's DD's first Christmas when really he just wants to be as awkward as he can make himself. I'm also fairly certain he's under the impression that because he's paying maintenance, I should pretend gifts I buy for DD are from both of us. Not that she knows the difference, so he can suit himself while she's too young to care.
WIBU to flat out refuse to see him on Christmas day? I don't think I'll ever trust him enough for unsupervised contact so unless he cares enough to take me through the courts and I'm ordered to give it to him (unlikely with the evidence I have collected) then I'd keep this stance every year. He can see her Christmas eve and he can't on Christmas day.