To have glared at this pensioner....

[Only1scoop]

I actually also wanted to tell him a few things but felt choked and angry....

Just been to our local pub for late lunch we go regularly....dd who is 4 was with us. Dd got up to show the waiter her new boots and he was chatting to her. Table next to us I'd say were a family with 2 ds and who I imagine a grandfather sat in the corner.

Dd sat down and I heard word perfectly "yes you can tell she's an only one though....feel sorry for her I mean its cruel I think....these older couples ....probably have all sorts of that test tube stuff done...." He then went on a vile rant about same sex couples having children....

I literally turned around and shot a complete look of venom at him....he didn't even notice ....his family did and the lady sat next to him looked mortified and attempted an embarrassed smile.

Yes we are older parents who are just getting over a second MMC a few weeks ago.

I don't care how old he is he should have a filter of respect and yes I'm going to say.

Vile vile old man.

Sorry I never post here but wanted to rant.

And breathe ....

Why do you think he was talking about you?

Next time start talking loudly about forced euthanisia

The way I look at it he's obviously a complete fruit loop. If he started going on about how the 9/11 was a conspiracy you wouldn't have taken it to heart - so you shouldn't take his nasty comments on your beautiful family to heart either.

So sorry about your MC

That could have been my mum.

She has dementia and has become quite opinionated on subjects she has never had an interest in before. I took her for a walk around a lake in a country park. A father and two young boys were out walking and the youngest was sneakily poking the eldest with a stick. it was really very funny Dad clocked what was happening and told his youngest off, whereupon my mum launched into a rant about parents shouting at children and never letting them have fun, how they should not have children if they could not be bothered to play with them.....oh God, the abuse went on and on. In a loud voice.
10 minutes later, she could not have told you about what she saw, nor what she said, but I bet that dad remembered it for a while ( I did try to shut her up and gave him the 'shit, I'm sorry, what can you do' face).

Enforced euthanasia?

No darling. I think not.

I don't think talking about forced Euthansia is appropriate or likely to diffuse the situation 2mins.

I think op reacted in the best and most appropriate way.

The man might just be an opinionated, unpleasant git or he might not be able to control himself due to illness. Either way, nothing to be gained verbally reacting.

It was a joke!

Try to ignore it my poor granddad had cancer which effected his brain and he said some bat shit crazy stuff including telling pregnant woman (including me) that the foetus would die :( He could also see dead body's the Japanese had killed on the street and was convinced that the doctor was taking him blood for something 'dodgy' to look at him and talk to him most of the time you would never had known the first few months.

Or he could just be a dick.

2mins sorry, I am just a bit touchy about my mum at the moment, she is the loveliest woman, but we are losing her day by day.
OP, it really does sound like the sort of thing my mum would say, so just try to let it go

He sounds like my neighbour. Used to be ok, but not he's around 90 and is just vile. There's been a few things that I was tempted to call the police over but because of his age I do worry that he has dementia so I try to just ignore him.

Doesn't make it any easier when he makes horrible comments about my disabled DS though.

I'm very sorry about your mmc.

Someone up thread said that this might be a generational thing. Please don't stereotype all older people-they are not all rude, opinionated and insensitive.
However after taking my 95 year old mother out for a meal at Easter I will not take her into a public place again.
She loudly talked about a teenager with disabilities ("He's staring at me they have no right to bring him out") and proclaimed "Look at the size of her!" about a lady in the restaurant.
She really upset some of the family that were with us.
This is all connected to deteriorating mental capacity.
If he had full capacity he was ignorant and deserved at least a hard stare-but possibly he has problems.

Yes my MIL has a habit of poking people in the gut and telling them they have put on weight.

I lost it after seeing the look on the faces of my daughter, stepdaughters and numerous cousins- she only does it to the females.

I told her if I ever heard her saying it again I'd lamp her. And I meant it.

She has no cognitive decline she has always been a bitch.

drudge... I referred to generational... I didn't mean that all older people are rude, opinionated and insensitive.... rather that the IVF element may be considered "new fangled" by those who haven't grown up familiar with it as people of our generation have.

We can't presume everyone has problems though, that's ridiculous. He may just have been a horrible person! My gran doesn't have any cognitive decline or deteriorating mental capacity, she just talks very loudly about people! For example when the car window was open and a larger lady was walking past she proceeded to tell is at the top of her voice "how could you let yourself get so fat it's greed if you ask me" or when visiting another relative in a hospital she decided to announce "all the doctors in here are foreigners, I bet none of them speak a word of bloody English" in perfect earshot of an Asian doctor and an Eastern European health care assistant.

Sometimes I don't think people realise how hurtful their comments are, OP so please don't let his words get to you. I'm very sorry to hear about your MMC and for what it's worth I bet you're brilliant parents .

Thanks so many kind words....

I think the assumption that we would have had to use ivf etc maybe was a generational thing....

We actually conceived naturally not that it really matters one iota of difference to be perfectly honest.

As I said up thread I'm incredibly wobbly with stuff at moment which is not like me at all.

Thanks for all the different perspectives....