to ask him to cancel football

[3boys40]

So I am self employed part time and normally manage working around 3dc. Although dh does normally look after dc when I am at an event. Once a year we have an awards ceremony and conference which involves a night away. This fallson a day he goes to watch football. (has a season ticket). Now normally we could arrange other childcare but ds1 has a winter camp that day too.
WIBU to ask dh not to go to football.

No.

YWNBU to ask. I think as you both have stuff you want to do you should sit down and chat about the clash. Personally I would say your annual event trumps a football match, especially if he has a season ticket and goes all the time, but as you're in a joint partnership and share childcare it's always nice to show respect for the other persons hobbies/commitments. The fact you're asking here suggests that you think he might say no? That would worry me somewhat as I would see it as slightly selfish....

Yabu to doubt or to have to even ask!

well the response was well I suppose I will have to cancel football. Bearing in mind he was at a match 2 weeks post csection when ds3 was born I think its fair enough. I guess because he is the main wage earner and my role is seasonal it is not prioritised and I am seen as a sahm so childcare or organising cover is my job.

Work def trumps over social events in regards to childcare.

I dont u derstand why one dc being on camp would prevent your usual childcare not being available nor your dh from going to the atch.

When my SIL works and my mum can't do childcare, DBro takes my niece to the match. He buys a ticket for a seat close to his and people shift around so they can sit together.

person probably looking after dc can't drive.

Why would you ask him? Surely, you are out that day so as their father, he sorts childcare out. If he cant find any, then as the father, he needs to look after them.

If it was the other way round, would he be asking you not to do something you wanted to, or would he just expect you to get on with i?

I assumed from your OP, that if ds was on a Winter Camp, he'd be away for the weekend, so your sitter wouldn't need to be involved, but if it's a day thing (which I'm inferring from your last post) then surely dh can take him in the morning, then take others to the sitter, then go to the football.
If it finishes before dh is likely to be able to collect him, then he could offer to take someone else who is going, and get their parents to pick him up.
Or of course, drop him at the house of someone else who is going.

We have clashes of dc having to be places and both of us having to be in different places all the time - if you want to make it work, then you generally can.

its an afternoon to afternoon thing so he would need to be dropped off to late for football.

I will probably ask his best friends mum to drop both boys off and I will collect but I have had to call in a few favours lately so hoped to avoid it.

It's only one match he is missing, no big deal really is it, you shouldn't even have to ask he should just miss that match so you can do your conference and award ceremony

But why, Cheerup, when the friend is going anyway ?
If I were taking any of my dc to anything, I'd be more than happy to take a friend of theirs. It's just what you do as parents to help the world go round.
There's no need for either OP or her dh to miss anything.

Good point backforgood I would generally be happy to take a friend of one of mine somewhere that they were going anyway although can also understand the not wanting to ask if the op has had to call in a few favours recently

the friends mum has 3dc aswell though and one has sen so I do feel guilty bothering her although I guess I will be saving her a journey.