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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let down DM re Tower of London poppies

41 replies

Dovahkiin · 05/11/2014 16:22

DM really wants to see the poppies. She won't go alone and, having recently moved house, doesn't have any friends in the area. She's widowed and my DG's carer so a day out is a big deal for her. I initially said I would meet up with her on Friday with DD1 (just turned 2) and DD2 (6 weeks) but I'm having second thoughts having looked at the pictures of the crowds and the weather forecast. I really don't want to be standing outside for hours with the DDs. Am I being PFB? I'm sure DM would understand if I explained it to her but I don't want to let her down unnecessarily.

OP posts:
Pootles2010 · 05/11/2014 16:26

How far do you live from London? If you're quite close, could you go first thing and then go for breakfast? That's my plan at least. Hoping the crowds won't be quite as bad now half term is done, but may be being optimistic...

Wowthishurtsalot · 05/11/2014 16:26

YABU she's had a rough ride and being a carer is intense.

If you don't want to get in the thick of the crowds don't get off the train at Tower Hill, walk from another station or get a river taxi, stand back and let your mum go down and look

LadyLuck10 · 05/11/2014 16:27

Yanbu, the weather is far too miserable to stand around with the little ones especially if it starts raining.

Wowthishurtsalot · 05/11/2014 16:29

That's what rain covers on pushchairs were made for

Bowlersarm · 05/11/2014 16:30

YABU, it's a one off experience.

SophiaPetrillo · 05/11/2014 16:31

You should go. I got the chance of something similar years ago and bottled out because of some stupid reason and I've eternally regretted it.

toriuk · 05/11/2014 16:31

Yabu just get there early when its dead.

Hakluyt · 05/11/2014 16:31

6 weeks?Hmm How are you feeling?If you're properly up to it, then baby in a sling, toddler in a pushchair and go really really early.

Could the children's father possibly take the day off and look after the toddler at home?

Leeds2 · 05/11/2014 16:31

I would go.

Yarp · 05/11/2014 16:33

I don't blame you. This would have been too much for me with a baby and a toddler.

We went in half term and it was the busiest event I have been to in London, and I live here.

Is she infirm or unconfident? I wonder if you could accompany her to a viewing point, then pop off to sit in a cafe at St Katherine's Dock with the kids, and meet her there.

tywysogesgymraeg · 05/11/2014 16:33

Surely DM will help you with the kids? You won't be on your own. Great photo opportunity for posterity - both DCs at the poppies

Pootles2010 · 05/11/2014 16:36

Just had a look at website - it looks like it's beautifully lit at night, you could go with your mum on an evening, just the two of you, and go for dinner? And leave DC's with your OH.

Yarp · 05/11/2014 16:37

Pootles

Yes, I think that's a good idea. dh is going tonight

Dolallytats · 05/11/2014 16:38

I think they were saying the crowds were really bad because it was half term. I don't think it will be as bad now the children are back at school.

Original poster
Dovahkiin · 05/11/2014 16:39

I'm coming round to it - thanks. It'll mean a taxi to the station, 45 minutes on the train to Charing Cross - where I will insist DM meets me. Sling, pushchair, brolly, shocked commuters by BFing in a sleep-deprived and increasingly cavalier manner. Looks like an excellent day to me. Sigh.

OP posts:
fromparistoberlin73 · 05/11/2014 16:41

just go early- get the first train after the commuters0 I know 2 families who went this weekend and saw it- lets face it once you have seen them- time to go!

however- rain is forecast so maybe an evening session

plus 6 weeks! thats very small baby, OK I am letting you off now !!!

Novia · 05/11/2014 16:41

I work next to the Tower and although last week was utterly horrendous, it's much better this week. If you come early (before 10.30am) or later (after 4pm) you'll be fine.

Original poster
Dovahkiin · 05/11/2014 16:42

Would love an evening out with DM but DD2 is pretty much attached to me 24 hours day. Nice suggestion though dreams of a nice meal out with wine and, y'know, adults

OP posts:
KnittedJimmyChoos · 05/11/2014 16:43

I really think you should go and make the effort. I went the other week with a wild animaltoddler who wont be strapped in any push chair, running off in all directions, my other DC and also elderly parent who is disabled and it was fine, its such a wonderful part of London, I was in two minds but I am glad I made it, for your poor dm I wouldnt let her down.

Teladi · 05/11/2014 16:43

With a 6 week old, there is no way I would have been able to do this.

WooWooOwl · 05/11/2014 16:44

You don't really have anything to be PFB about, your baby will be fine.

It will be a hard day for you with a baby and a toddler, but not so hard that you couldn't just get on and do it. It sounds like it would mean a lot to your Mum, and especially as she's lost her husband, I think you should suck it up and go.

skylark2 · 05/11/2014 16:45

My coworker was just telling me that she and her DH went at 9am and it was quiet.

Personally I would not have coped at 6 weeks, and my DM wouldn't have asked. But if you're up for it apart from the queues, go really early.

whattheseithakasmean · 05/11/2014 16:48

You could make an evening of it with DM & DD2 & leave the toddler behind. No pushchair & hardly anything to carry if you are breastfeeding. I often went out for meals when they were at the BF baby stage - lovely adult evenings that would not suit a toddler but a teeny baby happily fed/zizzed through.

Cactuar · 05/11/2014 16:51

OP I went on Monday afternoon and it was fine - bit busy but we were able to walk right down to the front straight away. It was nothing like the crowds they showed last week and at the weekend. We were very lucky with timing as it had literally just stopped hammering down and the sun was coming out so got some beautiful pictures. It is definitely worth seeing if you can.

sisterofmercy · 05/11/2014 16:51

I went in the summer and it was less congested at the front next to the river so might still be like that? Everyone wants to see the poppies flowing out the gunport but you could have a look at the front and then see if you can make your way back.

With your youngest being 6 weeks it's a big ask though. You were being very kind to your DM to even consider it.

It is an inspiring and solemn sight though, once you are there.