Not sending my dd to nursery when I go back to work

[Wilf83]

It just wouldn't make financial sense to send her to nursery. After all expenses I'd be earning £20 a day. Instead my dh & my parents will be looking after her 3 days a week. My dh does shift work so will be at home quite a lot sometimes. But all I hear from other mums I know is that nursery will be great for their little ones as they will have great social skills & make friends.

2 of my 3 didn't go to nursery/outside daycare until they went to nursery school (3-4). My parents in law had my eldest daughter 2 mornings a week when I was working I went back to work when she was 4.5 months old. It was great, they were brilliant with her. They all benefited, my pils took her out for the day, my mil did jigsaws, played cards, went to the park, went shopping, did all her messages with dd1. My fil taught her how to pick a horse and calculate odds .

My youngest, she's almost 4, she was with me or her dad until she started nursery school last September. We were able to cover my working hours with my husband and my mum.

Just make sure you've back up plans if they were ill or on holiday and as long as everyone's happy, it's a great idea.

Nursery can never be better than one on one loving, reliable care within the family. If your parents and husband are around and willing (and definitely reliable!), then this is naturally the best solution, and spending money on outside childcare would be senseless.

Nursery is great, but a 1 year old isn't going to be doing a whole lot of socialising, so that argument doesn't really hold true here. 1 year old is still very much a baby - better for her to be with her Dad and grandparents if possible.

I should probably ignore people that say nursery is best & should remember that it is an option among other options. Just need to have the courage in my convictions.

Personally, I don't think children get much out of nursery until they are at least over 3. My 2 went 2 days a week (from about 18 months) and my PIL looked after them 1 day. That arrangement worked well for us.

If your parents are happy to have your DD then I would say go for it. In my opinion it's better for children to be at home in the early years and I say that as someone who has used a nursery and whose children were fine and thrived.

we use a combination of nursery and family and neither is better than the other though in our personal situation i am glad of some nursery sessions as my ds is pfb and may well be an only and his cousins are much older and my ante-natal group friends are all back at work so we don't socialise much with other babies, just baby swimming.

If we didn't use nursery i'd want to spend my days with him at toddler groups and i would rather not, but if you like toddler group or have friends and family with little ones then that's great :)

Ignore parents who tell you nursery is always better. Also ignore posters on this thread who tell you nursery is never better.

Only you know whether the grandparents are well placed to provide better care than a nursery (mine certainly wouldn't be, partly due to health issues). A 1 yr old isn't necessarily active but a 2 yr old might be exhausting.

I've known toddlers looked after fantastically by grandparents. I've also known toddlers who have ended up with nurseries/CMs as it hasn't worked out with GPs. Think about it objectively without any pre-conceptions and be prepared to have to change approach.

Your 1yo doesn't need to go to nursery.

I'd send her to playgroup when she's old enough. Even if the parents are cliquey the kids won't be. You're describing toddler groups - a playgroup is for age 2 1/2 and up, and parents don't stay at them.

MIL had my DD for one day a week when she was little, and it was very kind of her and DD loved it...but ultimately it wasn't enough for me to get my work done, plus she wanted to be able to say "not this week" or "a different day this week" a couple of days in advance and I needed to be able to set up meetings more in advance than that. We sent DD to nursery part time (which she also loved) and MIL had her for an extra day when it was convenient, and it was a lot less stressful.

I don't think you are BU at all.

We didn't put DS into a nursery (we were lucky in that my sister could have him) but even if that hadn't have been the case I think we'd have opted for a child-minder as opposed to nursery!

I don't get why some Mum's are so keen to make other Mum's feel bad about their childcare choices?