How should I deal with this? ASD related

[ChoochiWoo]

I'm mainly posting here for traffic, as AIbu is a popular board especially during the day, as realise you're not all ladies of leisure but is still a SEN issue mainly however. ... Some background, a few months ago my reception age ds was pinned and strangled by an older child,very serious incident no dinner ladies saw he had to fught him off crying, scratches on him, to this day i know what he looks like but not whats hes called ..only due to DS much later, pointing out. The HT gave me sone rehearsed halfarsed rubbish on the phone, to this day non of the teachers have spoken, made any effort to rectify this matter. ....now fast forward a few months ds and another boy (same age) have been barneying a few times culminating in a plastic cone fight, and I'm called in for a word. Now.....I've told DS tablet time will be stopped if i hear of more fighting thats a separate issue its been dealt with, however my parents, DH included are quite angry at the blatantly unequal response especially regarding a bullying/safeguarding issue. Also DS ticking i.e loud noises, lack.of personal space when happy/excited and has been punished a few times for it, I do understand that its disruptive i do, put hes also essentially being punished for something he cant control, which cant be maintained its not fair, iv rang the child development centre to get the ball rolling for some support, im just at a loss i feel like hes recieving a very unequal , unfair treatment i.e we care when hes dishing it out, but not when hes on the receiving end. How should i proceed?

It might be worth it but I'd definitely give parent partnership a call they have really helped with school issues and not just for the statement but also with regards to bullying.

Parent partnership? Ive never heard of that before ill give it a look, i hate this more Im thinking the more im stewing and getting angry, I purely out of annoyance put a status re: this issue saying pm me i you had a bad experience re: bullying and being let down, got about 10 responses x

I understand what you mean I'm currently trying to fight my local Lea decision that my ds copes fine with mainstream school.
He has a long list of problems including anxiety with partly manifest with alopecia and nosebleeds as he really struggles coping. Schools way of helping him is putting him in a small group of children mainly younger then him and refusing to allow him to go swimming and on school trips as I can't accompany him due to not having childcare for my youngest. He also doesn't attend assemblies or do pe. He is statemented but Lea say he just needs more help. I go from being upset to being really angry for him and I'm not proud but the last time he got hurt badly at school (pushed over a wooden fence by one of the bullies, he had a bruised back and a small graze on his chest) I threatened to call the police and social services as they didn't keep him safe. It was extreme but he had already been strangled 3 times by skipping ropes and countless others times of being beat up to point he was left with scratches and bruises.

Jesus Christ definitely, i feel bad even complaining in perspective that school is awful, i think large extent of it if not making work for themselves tbh, my ds teacher is old school ..so very much a one size fits all approach, im sort
of the opposite i think DS ultimately belongs in mainstream, perhaps why ive treaded a bit carefully as not to rock the boat, I might ring CDC again, hope you get the response you want

Don't feel bad honestly i only told you so you could see i know where your cimung from and at times I've found the only thing you can do to get people to listen is to complain.

Hmm yes its tricky as you don't wanna be that mum but have to do right by
your child.

Statements are gone. Its Education, Health and Care plans now. School funding for additional support appears to have fundamentally changed in the last twelve months. The first 12 hours support now have to be provided from the schools budget before county top up with any additional support that is deemed necessary after a period of time at 12 hours and outside agency support.

My autistic son, who in lower primary I fought to keep in mainstream with support, is now really thriving in an Autistic unit within a mainstream school. He has socially come on far more in the last twelve months within the unit (now yr 6. ) than he did in all his years in mainstream. My point being that if the school don't cope with him well have in the back of your mind alternatives.

My advice is be 'that mum'. Assuming you're talking about the mum who is regularly in school and takes a bit more teachers time than other parents. Your son is not neuro typical, he does stand out from the crowd, he does need additional consideration to enable his integration within the mainstream environment. The window of opportunity for social integration is greatest at a young age. Now is the time to make your presence felt. What about requesting fifteen minutes a week for this half term?

Have the school had an occupational therapist, educational psychologist, autism specialist in to aid your son within the school? If not ask when will they have these people in. Has the teacher had extra training on differentiating for an autistic child within the class? Has any classroom assistant had extra training on assisting an autistic child? Have speech and language been involved to help with social games within the class?

Does your son have an Individual Education Plan (IEP) with personal targets either academic or social?

Support is most likely to come from pressure to the school and SENCO. I can't quite get my head around the funding changes for support within mainstream and whether this will make schools try to push children who don't fit the standard mould towards the special education route.

Thanks for that post making tea ill come back to it, an answer to a lot of them is I dont know

It is a lot to take on board getting differentiated but integrated support. Sometimes the hardest bit is working out the right questions to ask. I wasn't expecting you to have answers to things, i was going more from the perspective of giving examples of questions to ask.

Keeping records is very important if you need to pursue extra support or an EHC plan in the future. All you need is a rough date and outline of the incident. Detail any contacts with the school and follow up any verbal agreements with a confirmation email.

So for example if the teacher agrees to give you a few minutes each week to review the week then send a brief email FAO DS teacher, thank you for taking the time to talk about DS with me on dd/mm/yy. I would appreciate the weekly meetings discussed to review DS's week and will be available on Friday pickups to facilitate these.

Always be very polite and keep it short. Its amazing how over the years you can build a big file of paperwork that supports any claim for extra help you may need.