How do I explain this to DH...

[AlwaysDancing1234]

We have a young baby and I will need to return to work next year so looking at Childcare options.

DH thinks we should ask his (retired) parents to look after our DD
They are good people and clearly love their grandchildren but MIL in particular has very old fashioned ideas on childcare which are a lot different from mine. MIL health also not great.

MIL looked after our older child one day a week when he was a baby/toddler and basically ignored everything I said and did the opposite. It caused a lot of problems and I don't want to ruin the fairly good relationship we have by disagreeing over childcare.

AIBU to think it's a bad idea and how can I get through to DH what the issues could be as he just won't listen, just sees the PIL as cheap easy childcare. HELP!

Just because kids who are left to cry it out seem ok as adults doesn't make it right. My mum smoked throughtout her pregnancy and I am ok but not many people think its a great idea these days.

As mum you have every right to say how you want your DD to be treated by those providing childcare. If you are not happy with how they do it be this family, child minder or nursary you should find someone else.

YANBU.

From what you have said about your MIL, I wouldn't leave my kids with her other than for occassional babysitting. Plus if their health isn't great, it hardly seems fair to expect them to commit to regular child care anyway.

The thing is, if the GPs are the regular carers, you still need a backup plan for illness (theirs or the baby's) and holidays. Not easy to find an emergency childminder.

If you have a regular childminder, then the GPs could reasonably be the emergency backup plan.

Thank you all for your comments and feedback, it's been really helpful. I now feel more equipped to have a sensible discussion with DH about everything

I have to say when I first read this thread,I thought this was for one day a week and not 'fulltime'. I think that looking after very young children for older people,particularly if there are health issues is not realistic for more than a day or so a week as it really is so full on. However,this does have to be a decision the OP and her DH make together and agree on.It is their child,not hers exclusively. She will have to have a very clear argument to make a decision that will put them under considerable financial pressure that DH feels is unnecessary. It is a very difficult situation.