Effing internet

[ellieding]

Ok, here's the deal. I really hate the internet, I resent the poisonous crap I'm going to have to/already have to navigate in order to keep my kid safe, I hate ads, I hate youtube (safety does bugger all), I hate lots of the imagery I see etc etc. I think the accessibility of violent and explicit material is a crime against children and I think smartphones should have an age restriction of 17 and I don't know why they let them have them in school. I find it so depressing and I feel utterly hopeless against the system. It makes me want to homeschool as I just find it so anxiety inducing. The average age for a child to see pornography is 11. The government is doing little to nothing to prevent this. I would like some reassurance from people in the midst of it (maybe with young teens) or an idea of whether people would support a petition for an age restriction on smartphones.

the author is Louise Rennison. Many parents see them as harmless but I just HATE the language and they are basically about boyfriends and snogging which is not something my 11 year old has shown any interest in so far. Examples of language in Rennison books. Both the ones she has come home with have referred to the cat licking itself clean as 'cat porn'. Expressions such as 'pat my fanny' 'bugger gods bottom' 'lessie kisses' 'buggering hell' 'bloody hell' 'let the snogfest begin'
Maybe I am just a prude but it makes me wince to read this stuff. I can see why my daughter finds the author funny in places but in some schools you have to be 13 to sign out this authors books but her school consider them to be fine for KS3 so she was recommended them by the librarian!

WTAF?! I would be utterly incensed if my kid was given that to read. Not a prude and even if it was prudery I'm sick of everyone demonising it. It is abhorrent to promote that as literature. I'd complain.

We did write to the head suggesting they should not be recommended for 11 year olds.She went and chatted to the librarian who reassured her they were fine for KS3 and that our daughter was a 'mature reader'. The librarian then discussed it with our daughter and suggested to her that if she balanced Rennison books with something slightly better written that we would see what a mature reader she is and not fuss so much. My daughter then said " I explained to the librarian that my parents were very religious,and she was on my side and said she would order in the rest of the collection." !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really want to email the head again and ask her to just read one of the books and then give me her opinion afterwards! As I said though there are even a few MN threads on Rennison and some mums let their 9 year olds read her stuff. I think maybe she wrote a couple that weren't quite as bad and then they deteriorated. I think maybe many parents do not read the stuff their kids are reading.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childrens_books/a792227-What-age-is-appropriate-to-read-39-Angus-thongs-and

is one thread on the author.

So she basically went behind your backs and instead of being a responsible role model, teaching your child that she should listen to her parents thought she'd behave like her best mate. I would be furious. I find Jacqueline Wilson stuff bad enough but this Rennison woman sounds like a div too.

OP how old are your children?

My oldest is 13. She has a computer provided by the school so that she can do her homework online.

The school has thought through a lot of these issues and given parents and students guidelines as to what to watch out for on the internet and how to manage their use of it.

One decision they encourage is for parents to start loosening the reins around age 12/13 with the internet, much as they loosen the reins in their children's lives generally around that age. Talk to them about the dangers of the internet, but allow them to start being responsible for what they view.

I'm not sure if 12/13 is actually the right age, but I also don't think it's 17/18. They could have left home by that age after all.

OP how old are your children?

My oldest is 13. She has a computer provided by the school so that she can do her homework online.

The school has thought through a lot of these issues and given parents and students guidelines as to what to watch out for on the internet and how to manage their use of it.

One decision they encourage is for parents to start loosening the reins around age 12/13 with the internet, much as they loosen the reins in their children's lives generally around that age. Talk to them about the dangers of the internet, but allow them to start being responsible for what they view.

I'm not sure if 12/13 is actually the right age, but I also don't think it's 17/18. They could have left home by that age after all.

She's 5, but I am a widow and I get quite depressed and I struggle to not be overwhelmed by the concerns ahead, especially without her dad (who was amazing) in her life.

Just imagine what technology will be like by the time she gets to secondary school? Smart phones will be well out of fashion. I feel a bit like you about the world at the moment OP but I think just teaching your child about the dangers and using technology to protect her as best you can is the way to go.
So sorry you lost your husband. It must be hard not having him there to chew over your worries with. I think with kids you just have to take it one step at a time and deal with each issue as it arises to the best of your ability.As I said....who knows what technology we will have in 5 years time. Could be microchips inbedded in our arms by then!!

Oh ellieding that must be tough, I am sorry :-(

www.commonsensemedia.org/ might be a useful link for you to refer to as your daughter gets older.

OP, you are right to be concerned. However there's no real way to undo the internet. Children use it for homework and generally learning about the world so we couldn't really stop them having access at all.

IMO the only hope is to teach the kids the right things really early before they get to see the twisted versions.

The government can't do much to help you. Someone said about ISPs and regulation, but really none of that works. The experts said it wouldn't work and the government went ahead with it anyway to make it look like they were trying.

Most of the things your kids can access on the net are outside the UK and we have no control over them whatsoever. ISPs have no way to sort out what is porn/not porn, good/bad.

I think you need to adjust your tin-foil hat op

As someone said you can install software on a child's computer. That doesn't really solve the problem as every other kid with a phone has access to it. However it is worth doing as it cuts down on accidental encounters with porn.

No filter will work completely. They either rely on keywords (and pictures don't have keywords) or they rely on a database of sites that have been reported. The internet changes so fast that only a small fraction are in the database and some of them shouldn't be.

Both of those suffer from another drawback. They will probably also be denied access to educational sites that are in any way related to sex. A site that explained why children should not view porn would be blocked because it mentioned porn basically.

Also news sites and of course mumsnet which any decent blocking software would ban.

But at least in your own home if they can't get to a sensible site you can go and override it for them so that's not so bad.

The whole value of the internet is that it is not regulated and that Power and Money and Government do not control it. There is a downside to that; isn't there always?

As for an age-restriction on Iphones - who the hell is going to enforce that? Mummy or Daddy goes into the shop and buys it; sets it up (or more probably gets DC to do it!) and hands it over to Spoilt Little Darling who must have one because "everybody else does".

Sorry, OP, but you are not being realistic.