to expect people to respect my decision fb related

[zobey]

My sister in law is constantly putting pictures of my daughter 2 on her profile which is unprotected and anyone can see them. I've asked her on several occasions to stop as I don't put pictures of dd on anymore unless it's a special occasion. How would you go about it. I'm concerned for my dds safety around her now and want my dd not to see her anymore.

Don't let her take pics, I think photos belong to the person who took them so presumably she can post them if she wants to. Why do you object to it op?

She should respect your wishes, however the fact you put pictures of your DD on FB on 'special occasions' weakens your stance considerably.

I have a total FB blackout regarding my DC's (both nearly 2yo). With this approach no one can turn round and say to me 'well there are already photos up there from x.y.z party / occasion so what's the problem?'

Jeez, am I alone in finding this whole thing monumentally precious?

A few photos of children playing or at a party is going to affect their job prospects in later life? Seriously? Get a grip!

I think it's o.t.t. as well to mind about photos online. That's the world we live in now and it's not going to change. Not my business though :-)

Privacy settings on mine are so high that only certain people can see my photos anyway. And im not bothered about them being "tagged". I dont see the issue of photos kids playing. There must be millions out there! Kids these days will grow up knowing some photos are online and it will be very natural for them. I doubt many will be particularly precious about it.

Although I'd respect the wishes of anyone who didn't want their kids' photos on Facebook I'm with indigo18 - how on earth will a few baby photos affect a child's future job prospects? And if you set your privacy settings high enough then only your friends will be able to see the photos anyway.

And I find the whole "pedos on every street corner" very paranoid. Exactly what are said pedos going to do with a few photos, unless you've put details of your address on it?

My settings are top notch but hers are open to anyone to see.

That is fair enough, I don't post pics of DS on Twitter or Instagram as they're public.

I think you need to explain to sil how you feel and then report to fb. however, I think you need to appreciate the hidden message here. You only post for special occasions? Your Sil may not appreciate that your settings are high on privacy and hers aren't and it may seem to her that you say not to post images but then do it yourself. Are you on good enough terms to explain all of this - if so a friendly conversation may be all that is needed.

However I also think you are deluding yourself with high privacy settings. It is near impossible to control where an image goes once it is online. So what do you feel the danger is? I am asking in genuine curiosity and not in an argumentative way. I get it about photos which are better kept as printed out family shots - kids in bikini, babies bath time etc as they just seem borderline to too much intimacy imh. However, I am never sure what people think will happen to a photo of their fully dressed child? If it is family security issue that a child is being kept away from an abusive parent for example I understand that. If there is no background of that or similar I am kind of baffled tbh. I am of course talking about photos of my own child in this case and not referring to posting photos of school friends for example where posting online photos should not be done without parental consent regardless of any privacy settings.

I don't allow photos of my children online.
It's not precious, it's about safety. You don't have a clue who can see those photos and what they can do with them.
I also know of someone stealing photos of a persons child from Facebook and posting them on her own profile passing them off as her own child. (Mental health)

Why make it easier for paedophiles to access children's photos easily. I don't understand why people post photos of their child naked or in the bath.

I don't put pics of my kids online. It's not the pedo on every corner thing that gets chucked around on here constantly, it's about my kids right to chose what images of them are shown to the world. My SIL put pics of one of my kids up once, I hadn't asked her not to put any up so I wasn't at all cross and once I asked for them to be removed they were taken down without fuss because that's the decent thing to do. YANBU.

totally agree about the naked photos being inappropriate but then I think showing them to anyone let alone online is inappropriate. I can't get the connection between a fully dressed child picture and a paedophile.

As for the woman who doesn't post any child pictures up " in case they end up looking for jobs". Seriously? A lot of jobs are now applied for through email cv and through professional profile sites like linked in so it may yet be a case when our children grow up that an online presence is not just assumed but needed. However, that does link to those posters who feel that an online pressence can be chosen as an adult but protected from as a child. (I really don't think that a photo of my s o n grinning age 4ish as he took his first bike ride without stabilisers is going to be of any interest whatsoever to any prospective employer.)

However, all of that aside, I might not understand the reasons ( but I would like too) but I do think parents have the right to not have pictures up if that is how they feel.

I don't do it as I would like them to choose whether to or not when they are old enough and mature enough to decide.
I'm in the middle of a row wrt this as well. I asked politely asked for it to be removed, explained why I don't do it and accepted that loads of people do.
Thats cool and I respect that.
But I don't.

In the end I had to report the image and I'm waiting for it to go. Which I hope it does, soon.

the main reason for people not posting photos of dc seems to be so the child can choose when they are older. Thats not my choice but I have no problem with someone who does choose that decision.

However, back to the original poster who only posts for special occasions. That makes no sense.

YANBU to get the pictures taken down.
YABU for questioning your DD's safety around her and not letting her see her!

Do you cover the child in blankets when you are outside? People can see your children then. Who is to say someone isn't taking photos of them when they are playing in the park?