Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To 5yo: You are the worst at football in the whole class

36 replies

PeachZucchini · 04/11/2014 11:25

AIBU to be furious at a PE teacher for saying this?

The child in question is the youngest in the class, loves football and is enthusiastic and keen and, yes, not that good at it but wants to be.

Came home really upset at this put-down.

I feel really angry because no teacher of any academic subject would ever (well, not these days) say to a child "you are the worst at maths in the whole class" or "you are the worst at reading in the whole class". It is sending an terrible message.

It may be true, but surely any decent teacher should be praising children of all ability levels according to how much effort they are putting in, and only criticizing if a child isn't really trying to improve? Or do we want our children to get the message that there is only any point doing something if you are already good at it?

(MN regular NC as I suspect I'll end up making a formal complaint to the school and don't want this to be linked to my normal MN name)

OP posts:

parakeet · 04/11/2014 11:26

Double check with teacher first but if true, then yes complain to head.

MajesticWhine · 04/11/2014 11:26

That is absolutely disgraceful. Are you quite sure that is what was said?

lem73 · 04/11/2014 11:30

I say double check with another child if possible. It does seem an extraordinary thing to say especially to a five year old. Ffs they barely play anything resembling football at that age. (Not that it's ever ok)

BarbarianMum · 04/11/2014 11:31

If it's true ( and I'm only doubting it because it's such a shocking thing to say to a child) then you should definitely complain.

frizzcat · 04/11/2014 11:31

I would be definite that the teacher said those words and it wasn't your ds' perception of what he said, or indeed one of his class mates who said it.

If it turns out to be true then by all means get in there all guns blazing, humiliation is not the way to inspire or encourage.

EmptyNestAgain · 04/11/2014 11:33

I was thrown out of my art class when I was at school, over forty years ago. The teacher said I was a waste of paper and paint. I was six!
Definitely not bitter.
I would try and confirm what was said, Op, and then have a word.

MmeMorrible · 04/11/2014 11:36

Agree with others, you need to check that what your DC heard is what was actually said. If correct, that's not the way a professional teacher should be speaking to a 5 YO. And even if it's not correct, perhaps the teacher needs to reflect on why the DC has taken that message away from what was actually said,

sickntiredtoo · 04/11/2014 11:37

I think it is very, very unlikely that the teacher said this.I can only imagine it happening f your DS was misbehaving a lot and the teacher said something like 'You will be the worst footballer in the class if you don't listen/do as your told etc etc' or the teacher has set up some sort of skills competition to see who is the best footballer in the class and your DS came last and has taken this to mean he is the worst.

Original poster

PeachZucchini · 04/11/2014 11:37

Thank you I was beginning to doubt my reasonableness and fearing I was being terribly PFB and all-shall-have-prizes.

I shall do my best to get some kind of verification...

OP posts:

Hakluyt · 04/11/2014 11:42

Check your facts. If it is as you think (remembering children can be quite creative/get the wrong end of the stick) then straight to the Head and don't leave until you're satisfied.

Hakluyt · 04/11/2014 11:45

If it's a state school there will be a complaints procedure you can follow.

Not sure what the process is if it's a private school- which your mention of a PE teacher suggests it is. Be doubly careful about documenting everything if it is.

StarlingMurmuration · 04/11/2014 11:46

If he said that, it's absolutely appalling. What a terrible thing to say to a child! And it's hardly going to make the kid want to play football ever again, is it?

theknackster · 04/11/2014 12:02

On a more general point, I've seen kids at DS1's football club make amazing strides from where they were ability-wise at 5 to where they are now at 11 (for example, being unable to kick a moving ball to training with the 'a' team).

Scholes34 · 04/11/2014 12:38

I think the approach should be to mention that your child has been upset by a comment made to him by the teacher and to find out exactly what the comment was or was intended to be, rather than wading in at this stage with a complaint based only on what your DS has said.

KoalaDownUnder · 04/11/2014 12:42

I hope your son did get it wrong, because that's an appalling thing to say to a 5-year-old!

lem73 · 04/11/2014 12:54

Hope your son did get it wrong because experience tells me if you think he's telling the truth, the school will never admit it and will publicly back the teacher. My ds2 has a classmate who moved to our school because his PE teacher called him a 'retard'. He was 9 and not the type to make stuff up but the school backed the teacher.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/11/2014 12:56

How disgusting, if your son did get it right, he would not be doing football with that coach again!

Hatespiders · 04/11/2014 13:52

Good gracious! I never ever in all my years of teaching used such a nasty condemnation of any pupil of any age. Neither did I ever hear a colleague speak like that. Very cruel.

Humiliating a child is completely counter-productive as any parent or teacher knows. YANBU - I'd complain like anything if I were you, OP.

Charitybelle · 04/11/2014 17:32

We had stuff like this all the time at school, especially in PE. Not saying it's right, I think you should make a complaint if this is what was said. But I can't get myself too wound up about it as we had a lot of horrid teachers at school, and I wouldn't be as shocked as other posters to find out it's true. Some of the stuff said to me and my friends was very belittling, and I always assumed it's just the old fashioned way of teaching. Humiliation instead of praise and encouragement?

LadyLuck10 · 04/11/2014 17:34

If you heard this from a 5yo I would definitely check your facts. It probably got very twisted and not what was related to you.

Boomtownsurprise · 04/11/2014 17:37

Thing is its a very bald statement. Short. Sharp. To the point. Frankly I'm guessing it's real.

I'd mama bear maul the fucker tbh.

Hope it's a misunderstanding. Guessing not.

Hakluyt · 04/11/2014 17:41

You know what I've just suddenly thought? I wonder if it was a Year 6 sports leader or something like that? Or if it's a private school an older perfect? Still completely unacceptable, obviously, but it seems more likely........

WhereAmIGoing · 04/11/2014 17:41

And Tbh even if it's not exactly what that teacher has said but what she said ended up with the child understanding that, then still not acceptable.
Whatever was should never have left the child thinking something along these lines.

I would go and have a word with the teacher and explain how upset your ds was at whatever comment was made to him.

rollonthesummer · 04/11/2014 17:48

IF that's what was said, that is horrid and definitely worth speaking to the school.

When you say PE teacher, who exactly is it? Most children of that age are taught PE by their class teacher. Is it private?

skylark2 · 04/11/2014 17:54

If my kids had said that, they'd have made it up or at the very least embroidered the truth.

Not because they were malicious, but because they didn't understand the difference between "I'm worried my teacher thinks this" and "my teacher said this".

Flip

1 2