to make them buy their own school shoes

[SilentAllTheseYears]

DS, 15, has lost his school shoes - no sign of them in his PE bag, the hall or the shoe cupboard. His room is a tip and if I were to send in Tony Robinson we'd probably find Lord Lucan in there.
He has enough money to buy himself some new ones, I've said he has to find them tonight or else buy new ones tomorrow after school. He's had them since September.
AIBU?

Nope, if I could make my 7 year old do the same I would!

Let us know if he finds them........or you stick to it Silent !!

Oh, I am sticking to it! I went in his room earlier and found £2 on his bedside table so put it in his money pot (AKA hot chocolate tin!) and he's got £40 in notes in there and it's half full of change. He's paying unless he finds them as I've got his birthday and Xmas presents to buy - he either doesn't get the present he wants or he buys his own shoes and I can't afford to do both.

Good plan Silent. I wish I had done the same the last two times my DS managed to lose school shoes.

YANBU.

I recently made my 14yo replace an entire PE kit at a cost of nearly £80 because he'd left his in the school grounds rather than using the locker we paid for for him.

I do feel mean, but there is no way I'm paying twice for something I've already bought because of his stupidity.

I feel mean as well but if the money isn't there in my bank and it is in his then he's going to have to deal with it :(

Or he gets them for his birthday!

A 15 year old can definitely take personal responsibility for their own clothing.
This drives me crazy with DS who is 7...don't think I'll be waiting til 15 to adopt this rule!

He's found them...nothing like the threat of losing money to focus the mind on finding them.

Ha ha was just about to post don't worry if he had to pay for them they will miraculously turn up!

Gotta love the teens.

Well done, OP, good result.

YANBU. Glad they were found. Hope he has learnt his lesson.

I was thinking "I bet as soon as he is told that he will be paying for replacements, he will buckle down and find them!"

DD is like this, she does a "man look" (I know its sexist but its a phrase my mum always uses!) which is basically standing in the middle of the room and doing one look around without moving or touching anything. If the lost item doesnt jump up and bite her on the arse then it isnt there and she has looked "EVERYWHEEERRRRRRRE!!!!!"

As soon as I say "You are not having XYZ until you find it" or make her pay for a replacement, its amazing how fast the lost thing will turn up :o

to add insult to his injury he now has to clean them himself as I've already done my shoes for tomorrow!