Hi All,
I'll try to not drip feed. I am heavily pregnant and due to have a c section tomorrow. I'm very nervous and today just wanted a day at home with DH to relax before baby.
I do not like my inlaws - as in BIL, SIL, MIL. Dislike is a mild term for my feelings for them, I have no time for any of them at all. I dont show this, as they are my DH family, and as such I show them respect out of respect for him, but lets just say their visits are not the highlight of my day.
BIL has problems with drugs. One particular class A drug in particular. I do not like him being around my children, and he is never allowed around them alone anyway. MIL is ignorant to his issues, although his constant demands for money, never has even the basics for his own children and seems to expect her to run around after him go un noticed. His GF is someone I know, and she also has a drug problem. I refuse to associate with her, as she also has a drug problem, didnt think twice about drinking heavily and smoking cannabis whilst pregnant last year. They are not the type of people I want around my children. Neither work or have any intention of.
SIL - whilst the better of a bad lot, is hard to put up with. Very attention seeking, anything your kids achieve, hers have done, better, quicker, etc you get the jist. If out for a meal, never pays for herself, and is very self centered.
MIL - due to DH looking the spitting image of his dad who walked out when he was 14, treats DH like crap. Will go weeks without even calling to see how him and the kids are, ignores birthdays and xmases, despite spending hundreds on the other grandkids. Never invites him or our kids to functions (i dont go, always manage an excuse so not that). Behaved awfully during our wedding (turned up in jeans, spent the day slagging me off to DHs ex when she turned up, and my family). So there is background as to why I think they are all toxic.
A few months ago, BILs GF grabbed my son, screamed swear words in his face and dragged him all over MILS conservatory, until I stepped in. I went beserk, and was about to call the Police, until MIL begged me not to. To this day I havent spoken to BIL, his GF etc. Then when the news of my pregnancy broke, she started saying vile things about how I should terminate etc. MIL did nothing despite it being said in her house, and then accused myself and my husband of being foul about DH nephew. So we ignored them, cut them out. No contact for months now. Today she rings and tries to make amends. I say tried, as there was no apology, no remorse, just thinks shes done enough by asking how we are. DH spoke to her, was quite friendly and forthcoming with information about the kids and my pregnancy - all stuff I dont want them knowing.
I dont want any of them around the baby or the kids, or me, or at the house. BUT DH seems willing to forget all about it, and just sweep their disgusting behaviour under the carpet.
AIBU - with putting my swollen pregnant foot down, and saying, he can do what he likes in regards to contacting them, but not to come running to me when they continue to treat him like shit. Also they are not allowed to the house or around the kids, and whatever he does with them I don't want to know about? Or seeing as its family, do I do as he suggests and just suck it up. I'm not happy for my kids to be picked up and then dropped and ignored at their whim and feel they bring nothing but stress to our lives.